The Brady Bunch Variety Hour: #4

The Brady Bunch Variety Hour: #4
ABC
March 4, 1977
Variety
DVD
C+

By this point, the show, which was airing irregularly, had been revamped.  The Bradys got yet another house, Rip Taylor was added to the cast, and the tackiness had been toned down.  Not that it wasn't still tacky, but the jaw-dropping was less than on the Pilot.  This episode has Greg, who must be 21 by now, wanting to move out and the family devastated by it.  The worst part of the writing though is probably all the frigging explanations, where everyone, including the audience, is considered to be moronic.  (Mr. Brady doesn't know what "siblings" are?)  The musical numbers are blander.  This might've been a C but a few of Robert Reed's line readings sound realistic, and Vincent Price gives it his all.  (Greg of course fails to recognize his former kidnapper.)

Besides the Kroftettes, the Krofft regulars include Van Snowden, who was on The Bugaloos and Lidsville, and I think here he's playing Pufnstuf, the gosh-what-a-casting-coup musical guest.

The Brady Bunch Variety Hour: Pilot

The Brady Bunch Variety Hour: Pilot
ABC
November 28, 1976
Variety
DVD
B+

The grade obviously doesn't so much reflect quality as the level of my eyes bugging out and my ears doing double-takes.  Yes, I watched this at the time.  Duh, it was the Bradys and I even watched the variety shows for the Captain & Tennille (I loved the "Bionic Hat" sequence) and for Shields & Yarnell (mimes).  Catching an edited down version of this on Nickelodeon about fifteen years later, with a suitably cheesy introduction by Casey Kasem, enough time had passed for me to watch in disbelief.  Honestly, if I hadn't lived through the '70s, I would think this was all, as the Bradys would've said, a put-on.  Let me just copy down from my mental list, and forgive me if I've left anything out:

• Blindingly glitzy sets and costumes in a rainbow of colors;
• Mostly good singing, matched with ridiculous choreography and/or cheesy orchestration;
• "The Hustle" and "Shake Your Booty," with special guest star Alice;
• Special guest star Tony "I do everything professionally" Randall reciting poetry to people in animal costumes and telling Bobby, "Well, up your nose with a rubber hose";
• More ABC plugs than they even dared to do on Welcome Back, Kotter, including the in-joky "Barbarino in a bubble" reference, while Robert Reed is sitting right there saying nothing;
• Marcia complaining that Dad bent her Led Zeppelin album, so Greg tells her about when Mom and Dad were their age in the '50s, seguing to
• A sequence set in a roller rink, where the Brady guys ogle the Brady girls, but it's OK because they're playing other characters, with names like Pitsy and Hickey, and everyone except a coked-up McCormick thinks the way to sound '50s is to have a vaguely New York accent;
• Donny & Marie as the Donz and his sister (it sounds like Carol calls her the Nazz, but that can't be right) show up and deliberately fall on the floor while skate-dancing, unlike Williams, whose earlier spill looks unscripted;
• Bizarre line readings, from Marie sounding vaguely Chinese on "The Donz really wants to be liked" to Carol's "Do you think your father likes wearing tights?  [Awkward pause] No," as well as,
• Bizarre lines, like Marcia's suggestion that her critical siblings stop "hitting on dad";
• A Risk game parody for the scene where Peter (who's now in college and "majoring in girls") learns the lesson that "the trouble with lying is you always get caught";
• Greg claiming their old house didn't have a bathroom (it was actually the toilet that was missing); 
• Fake Jan "at that emotional age";
• Flashbacks to the Bunch pilot and "Kitty Karry-All Is Missing," so we get a glimpse of Eve Plumb;
• A Rocky Horror reference; 
• Underwater fire-fighting clowns.  Underwater.  Fire-fighting.  Clowns.  UNDERWATER FIRE-FIGHTING CLOWNS!!!

So why not an A- or higher?  Well, there were lulls where I didn't question my sanity, or theirs.