Square Pegs: The Stepanowicz Papers

Square Pegs: The Stepanowicz Papers
CBS
January 31, 1983
Sitcom
DVD
B

Susan Silver wrote this rather soapy episode where Lauren crushes on the janitor's son and temporary replacement, Steve Stepanowicz (Robin Strand, who was Mindy's old boyfriend Steve Sanders on Mork & Mindy).  Ms. Loomis (Caitlin Adams) is also attracted to him.  (He's about a decade apart from both.)  And then when they return a mop, and Lauren confesses to what she thinks are his legs, it turns out to be the legs of "Old" Mr. Stepanowicz (Hugh Gillin, who was Gen. Tomlin on M*A*S*H, Terri's father on Three's Company, and Dave on Mork & Mindy).  The other characters (with the exception of Muffy) react, well, characteristically, with Jennifer, LaDonna, and Vinnie teasing Lauren, while Patty is sympathetic but worried, Marshall is heartbroken (I guess the Mr. Donovan crush bothers him less), and Johnny is confused.  Note that after they've both apologized, Lauren tells Patty that it's no fun having a love affair without her.

This is the 300th program I've reviewed from the '80s.

Square Pegs: It's Academical

Square Pegs: It's Academical
CBS
January 24, 1983
Sitcom
DVD
B-

In this Andy Borowitz story, quiz show host Dan Vermillion (39-year-old Martin Mull) invites Weemawee High to participate.  The team is made up of Patty, her previously seen crush Larry Simpson (Ben Marley), and Muffy, who's now also crushing on Larry.  Despite Lauren saying that Patty is the smartest girl in school, and despite the fact that she's on the team because of her GPA, Lauren gives her the bad advice to act dumb to attract Larry.  He sees through her and says he likes smart girls.  In the end, he goes out with the smart girl from the opposing team.

Karen Armstrong returns as Cindy, while Steven Peterman is back as teacher Rob Donovan.

Square Pegs: Child's Christmas in Weemawee

Square Pegs: Child's Christmas in Weemawee
CBS
December 20, 1982
Sitcom
DVD
C+

There's something off about this episode, but I don't know if it's Gross & Hirsch's writing or Hughes's direction.  Some of the jokes fall flat and the acting (with the exception of Parker) isn't at the level it usually is.  Also, it feels like it could've been reduced to a regular half hour, rather than a full hour.  Anyway, it's Christmas time and Patty's divorced father (Tony Dow, right before all the Leave It to Beaver comeback stuff) wants to spend time with her, but Lauren wants to crash parties.  This episode confirms that Johnny lives with his grandparents (hinted at before), mentions Vinnie's sister, and names Mr. Spacek's wife as Nellie.  (An in-joke about him maybe being gay?  It's hard to tell.)

Show creator Anne Beatts makes a cameo as Miss Rezucha.  Caitlin Adams and Craig Richard Nelson return as teachers Ms. Loomis and Mr. Spacek.

Square Pegs: Hardly Working

Square Pegs: Hardly Working
CBS
December 13, 1982
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Borowitz & Hirsch story just has the basic cast of eight and much of it is set at the Grease, where Jennifer takes a job as a waitress and hopes that no one will find out.  (Yes. there's a semi-in-joke about the Waitresses.)  Jennifer's father is having a temporary setback with his car lot (he was formerly the richest man in town, suggesting the town isn't that large), and soon Muffy is putting her on the level of Rosarita, the Guatemalan little girl whose sponsorship Muffy has mentioned in many previous episodes.  Reaganomics and "trickling down" are mentioned, and I did laugh out loud in a kind of "ouch" way when Florence Henderson was referred to as a has-been.  Note that Lauren offers to go out with Marshall if he'll forget the telethon, but he'd rather do the telethon.  (So much for being in love.)

Square Pegs: A Simple Attachment

Square Pegs: A Simple Attachment
CBS
November 8, 1982
Sitcom
DVD
B

I think this is the first episode to not feature any adults and to just focus on the eight main characters.  And it's definitely a shippy episode.  (Except for LaDonna, unless you want to ship her with her bestie Jennifer.)  Marshall tells Johnny that he's in love with Lauren, and he thinks Lauren is in love with him since she's agreed to give him her braces when they come off.  He's sent away for a love-detector machine (from Suburban Housewife magazine), which he wants to enter in the science fair and use to get Lauren to admit her love.  But when he demonstrates the device in the classroom, it reveals that

1. Johnny does not love Miss Piggy, Princess Di, or any other female celebrities that we've heard of (except we know from before that he does think Debbie Harry is sexy);
2. Jennifer loves senior guys that Vinnie is jealous of;
3. Vinnie doesn't love Jennifer;
4. Muffy loves herself.

It all has to be straightened out, and along the way, we get Vinnie and Marshall unexpectedly bonding, and Lauren saying that, no matter what the machine shows, love isn't science, it's magic, moonlight, and "two minds beating as one heart."  Also, while Patty and Lauren, particularly Lauren, see Johnny and Marshall hanging around them as scaring off boys they'd want to date, Patty is grateful for her awkward conversation with Johnny later.  Note that Vinnie owns a van so he's presumably a junior.

Square Pegs: Halloween XII

Square Pegs: Halloween XII
CBS
November 1, 1982
Sitcom
DVD
B-

As the title suggests, this is an homage to the slasher films of the period, with even the plot of a slumber party being very typical of the genre.  I think I only saw one Friday the 13th, but this was in the zeitgeist.  And speaking of zeitgeist, this episode includes references to Doug and Bob McKenzie, real men not eating quiche, and rap music.  Interestingly, Lauren and Patty are very happy when Marshall and Johnny show up, since the other girls are snubbing them, but they also don't regard their guy friends as real boys, in the way they see Vinnie.  And Lauren has a line about virgins not dying in horror movies.

Caitlin Adams and Basil Hoffman return as Ms. Loomis and Principal Dingleman. This is Marjorie Gross's second Pegs story, while it's the first of two by Susan Silver, who wrote a couple for The Bob Newhart Show.  Note that this is the first week when both Pegs and M*A*S*H aired (and both with belated Halloween episodes), and I watched Private Benjamin in between them, although when Family Ties moved over to Mondays at 8:30, I must've switched over to NBC for that slot.

Square Pegs: Pac-Man Fever

Square Pegs: Pac-Man Fever
CBS
October 11, 1982
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Marjorie Gross's first of four stories has Marshall developing the affliction of the episode title, leading to Marshall's three friends convincing Jennifer to try to "seduce" him in order to stop his rivalry over the game with Vinnie.  Maybe the sexuality on this show is even more complex than I imagined, although it doesn't get past Marshall touching Jennifer's elbow and then asking for her quarters.  Don Novello appears as his Father Guido Sarducci character and has to listen to Marshall imitate him.

Gary Towles is back as the Uncredited Student.  This is the first of seven episodes Terry Hughes directed.