Roseanne: Into That Good Night

Roseanne: Into That Good Night
ABC
May 20, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
B

This one-hour series conclusion was co-written by Allan Stephan, Barr, and her daughters Jessica and Jennifer Pentland.  Whether this is how the series or the season should've ended is still subject to debate, especially with a Roseanne revival next year.  But it is entertaining and sometimes moving in of itself.  Of course I don't want Dan to be dead, or David and Darlene to be split up, but I get the point that Roseanne, both Barr and Conner, wanted to rewrite the way life goes.  It doesn't justify or explain the madness of Season Nine, but it's not a bad place to "end."

I'm omitting not only Cole Roberts and the Hazen twins, but also Sandra Bernhard, Martin Mull, and Fred Willard, although I think it's interesting that none of Roseanne's straight friends are included in the baby's homecoming.  Note that Goranson is tagged for the flashback to when Roseanne's writing room was set up in the basement.

Roseanne's final season ranges from two D-s to one B+, averaging out to a C+.  There are still good moments, good episodes, but more rarely than in previous seasons.  In some ways, this show resembles M*A*S*H, a sitcom with serious and even dark moments, running perhaps too long and yet still capable of making me cry as it ends.  (And both shows have a ton of continuity errors of course.)  It'll be interesting to see what happens in "Season Ten," but I expect to be done with this blog before that airs.

Roseanne: The Miracle

Roseanne: The Miracle
ABC
February 25, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
B+

Barr wrote the story that Drew Ogier turned into a teleplay, and it shows what they were capable of when they stuck to the family dynamic and left out the lottery etc.  Yes, Roseanne wants to use her money to help her granddaughter survive, but the episode is mostly about the emotions that this closeknit, if often bickering family goes through when Darlene gives birth prematurely and the baby has a small chance of survival.  (Darlene is still only twenty-eight weeks along, so the pregnancy math on this series remains screwy.)  I cried more than once, partly because I've grown to love these characters again, especially David and Darlene, and it's hard to see them in such pain.  Galecki and Gilbert really step up to the acting challenge, particularly together.  Goodman is of course another standout, as he helps David stay strong for Darlene.  The idea of baby Harris being healed by love is corny, but it's all well done.  I realize not every Season Nine episode could be like this, not without crossing into permanent dramedy status, but I'm glad that they at least made this one.

Rick Fitts played Martin Jackson on Generations, but not on the episodes I reviewed; he was a Reporter on Ellen and is a nameless Doctor here.  Michael Des Barres was also on Ellen, as Nigel the Director, and had played two previous Roseanne roles before his appearance here as Dr. Phillips.  Dann Florek returns as Dr. Rudmen.

Roseanne: Home for the Holidays

Roseanne: Home for the Holidays
ABC
December 17, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

Barr wrote the story that Lawrence Broch based the teleplay on, but this is no flight of absurd fancy.  Dan comes home and is warmly welcomed by his family and the studio audience.  However, something feels off, especially in his treatment of Roseanne.  Jackie overhears him talking to someone he misses, someone who looks after his mother.  She and we realize that Dan is having an affair.  The fallout would begin in the next episode.

Allan Stephan's last onscreen role is Santa Claus in the tag.  Note that the Christmas episode of four years before (with everyone snowed in at various locations) was called "It's No Place Like Home for the Holidays."

Roseanne: Hoi Polloi Meets Hoiti Toiti

'90s Comedy Central viewers would get a kick out of the casting.

Roseanne: Hoi Polloi Meets Hoiti Toiti
ABC
November 12, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Leif Sandaas co-wrote (with someone with almost zero other credits) this not-bad-for-Season-Nine story where Astrid Wentworth (Mo Gaffney again) invites Roseanne and family to stay with the Wentworths at Martha's Vineyard.  The class contrast is a little weak, but stronger than anything we've seen so far this season, even if the ultimate message is that the rich (or at least this rich family anyway) are basically nice people who just need to loosen up.  (And that Roseanne Barr would end up supporting an uninhibited rich man for President is one of history's ironies.) 

Note that the teenage girl of the household thinks D.J. is a "bad boy" and tries to seduce him, but he's a scared virgin.  D.J. is now 15 and this won't be the last we'll hear of his "love life."  Also, since I had to omit Fishman from the overcrowded tags thrice in the past, this is actually his 200th episode.

Stella Butler, who previously was a sassy Jerry Springer Audience Member, here is sassy Nurse Stella.  This time Phil Leeds plays Grandmama Lily.  Iqbal Theba would reprise his role as Dr. Bakshi in the next episode and would be on Ellen the following year.  Stand-up comic Dana Gould, who's Chip here, would also soon appear on Ellen.  Cole Roberts is still baby Jerry, and the Hazen twins are still listed for Andy, but Andy's hair is darker now.

Roseanne: Someday My Prince Will Come

Roseanne: Someday My Prince Will Come
ABC
October 15, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
C-

Janet Leahy and Carrie Snow's last Roseanne story is one that is ostensibly set in the real world, as opposed to the ones that are "daydreams."  But it's about Jackie being swept off her feet by Prince Carlos of Moldavia (Jim Varney, deliberately cast against type).  There's no conflict here, and not much humor.  Also, I'm supposed to believe that Roseanne would include Leon on a trip to Manhattan?  Varney would return only once more and I can't remember why Carlos and Jackie didn't stay together.  This plot thread would soon be overshadowed by much greater departures from realism.

Roseanne: Honor Thy Mother

Roseanne: Honor Thy Mother
ABC
October 8, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

In this story that Bob Nickman co-wrote with someone who didn't work on any other of my shows, we don't find out what the title means until far into the episode.  Dan is a funk, wondering about the meaning of life since the family became rich.  He realizes he wants to help his mom by taking her to a good psychiatric hospital in Santa Monica.  Meanwhile, Roseanne and Jackie plan a trip to a spa, which would become a plot in a couple episodes, but first we'll see an episode that builds on the tag, which includes the back of a head and voice of a character that (uncredited here, to keep it mysterious) would be played by Jim "Ernest" Varney.

Staff writer Allan Stephan here plays Allan.  This is James Pickens, Jr.'s last appearance as Chuck and I'm glad he's given something meaty to work with for a change, in the scene where he tries to talk to Dan.  Note that this is at least Leon's third time playing poker with Dan.  And sweet David's complaint about Darlene is that she won't let him spoil her.

Roseanne: Millions from Heaven

With Robin Leach

Roseanne: Millions from Heaven
ABC
September 24, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

Nancy Steen's first of two Roseanne stories, and Cynthia Mort's penultimate of six, picks up where the last episode left off.  Jackie comes over, with the babies, and tells Roseanne about winning the lottery.  She and then Dan react.  At least at this point, the shark isn't dining.  This is a funny episode, if bittersweet in retrospect about the Conners' intentions to not let money change them.  Had this been any other sitcom we've looked at, it would turn out they didn't win the lottery and life would go back to normal.  (As happened, for instance, on Gilligan's Island.)  Note that Darlene is more emotional due to pregnancy hormones.

Tory Christopher, who's a Conner cousin here, would be an Audience Member later in the year.  This is the last we'll see of Adilah Barnes as Anne-Marie; I wish they'd found more to do with her character, especially in recent seasons.  I'm less concerned about the loss of John McConnell as Bob, although he did what he could with the role.  I'm omitting Cole Roberts and the Hazen twins from the overcrowded tags.

Roseanne: The Wedding

Roseanne: The Wedding
ABC
May 7, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

In this Kaplan and Broch story (with the same title as the one from five years earlier about Crystal & Ed's wedding), David and Darlene get married, but it's at least as much about their family relationships.  David wishes his parents could be there, but Mark tells him that the Conners are their real parents now (both Mark and David's), because they care for them more than their biological parents ever did.  Darlene has heart-to-heart talks with both Dan and Roseanne, and Goodman's performance is particularly moving, made all the more so by how the episode ends and what Roseanne (Barr and Conner) would do with it later.  The outdoor wedding goes well, despite some snags, but Dan suffers a heart attack during the reception.  Roseanne calls 911, and the fragile "reality" of the series tears further apart.  But we don't know that at this point of course.

Minister Kymberly Newberry was a Dignified Woman on Ellen in '94.  I'm omitting the Hazen Twins and Cole Roberts from the overcrowded tags, but the babies do attend, with Jackie insisting that Andy be ring-bearer.  (One reason this isn't a B+, a little less crazy!Jackie would've helped.)  I'm also omitting Sandra Bernhard, Martin Mull, and Fred Willard as the adults who have the least to do this episode, but it is interesting that of all of Roseanne's friends, it's the gays who attend her daughter's wedding.

Roseanne: Disney World War II

Roseanne: Disney World War II
ABC
February 27, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
C-

Not terribly much happens in this Allan-Stephan-written plug for ABC's then new owners' Florida theme park.  The characters are all stupid and/or needlessly rude and/or out of character, and that includes the random children who gather and applaud when Bev sings, rather than flee in terror.  But I guess it's nice to see what Disney World looked like in the mid-'90s.  And this would retroactively become the episode where Darlene gets pregnant, if I recall correctly, so there's timeline info at least. 

Ted and Joy Christino again play Tourists.  This time Bob Fuller plays the Bellhop.

Roseanne: We're Going to Disney World

Roseanne: We're Going to Disney World
ABC
February 20, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Matt Berry story, the first of two parts, isn't bad, and I like how the new switch in Beckys is handled in a voiceover, but there are some out of character moments, notably with Darlene, who not only does some weird dance in the kitchen but joins the family in laughing at Nipsey Russell on headphones.  Dan gets a nice settlement when he quits the City garage, and part of that money goes towards a trip to Disney World for the entire family (including Bev), although as the episode ends, we're still up on the plane.

Peggy Mannix, who was a Delivery Woman on Who's the Boss?, is a Woman on the Plane here.  Ted Christino, who was a Tourist on Roseanne in '93, is one here and in the following episode; Joy Christino, who's probably his wife, is a Tourist in both parts of this two-parter.  Bob Fuller's second role on the show is as the poor Airline Steward dealing with the family.  And John McConnell is Bob again.

Roseanne: Halloween - The Final Chapter

And this is one of the saner moments.

Roseanne: Halloween - The Final Chapter
ABC
October 31, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
C-

Barr directed and co-wrote, with Lois Bromfield, this odd entry that might well be the Shark Jump, or at least the Putting on the Waterskis moment.  (It'll be easier to tell as the season progresses, or regresses.)  The title I believe has something to do with the fact that this was originally supposed to be the final season of the series, but it doesn't explain why Roseanne, after well over a year of pregnancy, gives birth to a baby boy (Cole Roberts in his first appearance), whom she names after the spirit of Jerry Garcia (Fred Asparagus, who'd played Del Moore on Who's the Boss?), after seeing the recently departed musician in a labor-induced hallucination.  Even before the hospital sequence, we get Ed McMahon and Sarah Chalke, as themselves (I think) mixed in with trick-or-treaters.  And a mini-clip-show of past Halloweens (which is why Gilbert and Goranson are tagged). 

Basically, the whole thing is a mess, not exactly redeemed by the tag where Roseanne fields staged-sounding questions from the audience.  (OK, I did laugh when a man who claims to be one of the writers asks what the hell the episode was.)  You know I've never been a big fan of the Halloween episodes, but they at least had some bearing on reality.  And contrast this episode with some touching and funny moments in the episode with the flashback to D.J.'s birth and you'll see what this series was starting to lose.  It's not all over, but the future doesn't look too bright from this point on out.

Jason Davis's middle Roseanne character is nameless, but he was possibly the lawyer kid.  Bobbie Bates makes her first of two nameless appearances on the show.  (And she was a dancer in Mame over twenty years earlier.)  Trippy Dancer Tera Hendrickson would be Barb on Ellen.

Roseanne: Couch Potatoes

Roseanne: Couch Potatoes
ABC
May 17, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
C+

This Eric Gilliland story is odd, especially when the tag seems to offer a lesson that the rest of the episode, and indeed future episodes, ignore.  Roseanne is two months away from giving birth and has entered a "nesting phase," which means she wants to upgrade furniture and the family's viewing habits, especially after they become a Nielsen family.  The Flanderization of not just Mark but most of the family as unfunny idiots is creeping in here, until that final scene, where Dan and Roseanne have a conversation much like they used to, realistic and sweet and funny.

Roseanne watches a Beverly Hillbillies marathon (and, no, Buddy Ebsen would not have been 105; he would've been 87) and realizes that they will always be "white trash" and they shouldn't try to pretend to be anything else.  When she and Dan talk about what the Clampetts do with their money, it casts an odd light on Season Nine, since the Conners, Roseanne especially, will not exactly stay down-to-earth.  The thing is, if Gilliland were really taking the "to thine own self be true" message to heart, he wouldn't have waited till this last scene to make characters be in character, unless the irony is intentional. Meanwhile, Fred and Jackie, after a mostly silent dinner, agree that it's really over between them.

Roseanne: Happy Trailers

Roseanne: Happy Trailers
ABC
March 29, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Doyle & Youngers story for the most part isn't great (the over-the-top performance of Sharon Stone as trailer trash doesn't help), but I really like the talk Roseanne and Darlene have towards the end.  Mark and Becky move into a trailer park and her parents want to help, but the young couple wants to be independent, especially with Roseanne and Dan's baby on the way.  Note that Dan makes a joke about them not buying lottery tickets anymore, which would become ironic in retrospect.  Also, David and Darlene seem to be on better terms at this point than recently.

John McConnell returns as Bob.

Roseanne: Husbands and Wives

Roseanne: Husbands and Wives
ABC
March 22, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B

It feels like a lot of this season is about getting a little derailed and then getting back on track, as in this Kevin Abbott story which finally deals with the aftermath of Fred walking out on Jackie.  Roseanne and Dan try to get them back together, but both Fred and Jackie are reluctant.  Fred realizes he overreacted when he has to defend Jackie to her mother, but Jackie realizes she prefers being on her own.  They reconcile, for the moment.  Meanwhile, Darlene and D.J. fight like in the old days.

Roseanne: All About Rosey

Roseanne: All About Rosey
ABC
March 1, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Ulin & Sandaas wrote the frame for this hour-long clip show, which I might've given a B- if they could've kept the same frame throughout.  Things start out well in 1965, when Roseanne (played screechingly by Fishman) and Jackie (Metcalf's approximately eleven-year-old daughter Zoe Perry, quite good as approximately nine-year-old Jackie, her second time in the role after being in the '92 Halloween episode) visit a female fortune-teller, played by Goodman.  For $1, he can show them Roseanne's life from '88 to '94.  And then we get opening credits that splice together the various credit sequences, a bit like the morphing credits in Season Eight or Nine.  Certainly, the episode is propelled by nostalgia, although as always when a clip show runs late in a series, especially a series in decline like this one, there's going to be regret that things aren't as good as they used to be.  (Even the Darlene-teasing-D.J.-about-masturbation-at-the-dinner-table sequence from Season Six already looks classic compared to Season Seven.)

In the next frame, set in 2025, a Bev-looking Jackie takes D.J. to a Psychiatrist played by Eric Christmas (many, many credits, including both Harold and Maude and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes).  Goodman plays middle-aged D.J., who's traumatized by the Becky switch.  And then in the final frame, covering about half the episode, Roseanne is visited by other TV Moms:

• Barbara Billingsley as June Cleaver;
• Pat Crowley as perhaps the most obscure TV mom, Joan Nash from Please Don't Eat the Daisies;
• June Lockhart as Lassie's Ruth Martin (not looking much different than she did on It's Garry Shandling's Show eight years earlier);
• Alley Mills as Norma Arnold from The Wonder Years;
• and Isabel Sanford (who hasn't been heard on one of my shows since Wait Till Your Father Gets Home) as Louise Jefferson.

You can see from that odd assortment that, with the exception of Billingsley and Lockhart, these aren't the classic TV Moms that would've been thought of even in the '90s.  Yes, Sanford is a TV icon, but we remember her marriage to George much more than her motherhood of Lionel.  (And even Lockhart is associated more with the dog than her son.)  It gives the episode a feeling of being thrown together, and the contrasts of old-fashioned TV with Roseanne feel a little forced.  I'd much rather have had them stick with the first frame throughout.

Bob Telford appears as Bill in archival footage.

Roseanne: Lost Youth

Roseanne: Lost Youth
ABC
February 15, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B

This Bullard & Fromstein story pulls things further back on track, focusing on the characters and their relationships in a more realistic way than some episodes this season.  The "lost youth" of the title refers to that of both Jackie and Mark.  She feels like things are in a rut, especially when Fred is shocked at the idea of having sex in their car.  Meanwhile, Mark gets in a competition with David for the attention of Stacy (Lords), and it's unclear if he's doing this partly because he misses being a bachelor, or if he feels jealous of David's good SAT scores and chance of getting into college.  (David has turned his scholastic career around since last season, presumably making up for ditching school and living with Darlene.)  The relationship between the two Healy brothers is given more dimensions than usual, instead of just exchanges of insults.  As for Fred and Jackie, this will prove to be the beginning of the end for them.

Roseanne: Sisters

Roseanne: Sisters
ABC
February 8, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B-

While there are still some cheap, unfunny jokes in this episode written by Michael Borkow, this is a definite improvement over the previous two episodes.  When Fred decides that D.J. is too weird to be visiting so much, Jackie pretends that Fred's opinion is hers, which causes a falling-out with Roseanne.  Meanwhile, Darlene has been lured home for her mother's birthday (which formerly was in October) by Dan claiming that Nana Mary died.  Becky and Darlene have an uneasy reconciliation, but when David tries to make peace, Darlene lies and says that she's much happier with Jimmy, especially in bed.  Darlene and Jackie confide in each other, and Darlene reveals that Jimmy dumped her.

Twins Garrett and Kent Hazen make their debut as baby Andy.

Roseanne: Bed and Bored

Roseanne: Bed and Bored
ABC
February 1, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
C

A couple minutes into this Eric Gilliland story, I felt like the humor and reality were gone.  A bunch of people were onstage, looking and sounding like the characters we've come to know, but not acting like them.  There is one laugh-out-loud line (about Shaft) and the scene where Bev and Jackie talk about motherhood is good, even if Metcalf is showing signs in this episode of the Flanderization where Jackie is too often cartoonish.  (This would get worse in Seasons Eight and Nine as I recall.)  But the plot of Roseanne pretending to feel worse than she does in order to have bed rest just doesn't work.  I'm not yet ready to hand out C-s to this series, but it is becoming more likely.

Roseanne: Rear Window

Roseanne: Rear Window
ABC
January 4, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B

Michael Borkow wrote this story with someone who didn't work on any other of my shows, and it does have a different feel, not bad, just different.  The new next-door neighbors are elderly nudists, and in the more serious thread, Mark and Darlene deal with their jealousy and discomfort with David and Becky's friendship.  Mark and Darlene bond a little, despite themselves.

Roseanne: The Parenting Trap

Roseanne: The Parenting Trap
ABC
December 14, 1994
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This story by Sid Youngers is the sort of thing that would've been sharper and funnier with the writing of Seasons Five or Six.  Thirteen-year-old D.J. is getting erections in school and Roseanne reluctantly agrees to let Dan deal with it, although she ends up upsetting D.J. with a story about getting her first period at 13.  (This contradicts the episode where Roseanne and Darlene's menarche age is 11.)  Meanwhile, David goes out with a cheerleader named Dinah but breaks up with her because he connects more with Becky.  The best scene here is the tag, where Roseanne-the-producer runs slang for erections past the ABC censor.