KISS Meets the Phantom of the ParkNBC
October 28, 1978
TV-Movie
VHS
C
While I remember KISS from the time of course, obviously I wasn't a fan. (I listened to much more cheerful pop and rock.) My then future ex-husband, however, well, he wasn't a fan either but he does remember how excited the boys in his sixth-grade class were about this movie ahead of time. They were strangely silent on the playground the next day. (Or I guess it would've been a couple days later, looking at a 1978 calendar, since this apparently aired on a Saturday.) My point is, even preteen KISS fans knew this sucked at the time. So while some people can appreciate it for both the cheese and the music, no one is going to argue unironically that it lives up to even the standards of a 1978 live action TV-movie produced by Hanna-Barbera, in which KISS, who have magic talismans that give them mysterious powers, have to fight evil robots, including ones modeled on themselves, manufactured by a mad scientist at Magic Mountain. The ex and I would occasionally quote lines, like "Starchild!" and "Gene's brother was an only child," but I think the movie only works in small doses, one of those misfires that's more interesting to talk about than to watch. Note that the band isn't even in the movie much for the first half hour, so you're going to have to be invested in the three juvies with names like Slime, Chopper, and whatever the girl's name is, or the girl with the missing boyfriend, or in the mad scientist's job complaints to get through that part.
Michael Bell, whom I know best for playing two jerky charmers on Three's Company (Chrissy's guru and Janet's dance instructor), voices Peter Criss. Stan Rodarte, who was a Reporter at Homecoming Parade in that year's Rescue from Gilligan's Island, is a Roadie here. Brion James, the mustachioed Guard, was instantly recognizable to me as George from Mork & Mindy that fall (although it's of course been several weeks since I watched that episode).
