Roseanne: The Last Thursday in November

Roseanne: The Last Thursday in November
ABC
November 21, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
D

Oh, jeez.  I guess we can call this the Shark Jump.  Not that there won't be OK and maybe even good episodes down the line, but I thought this episode was bad at the time and time has not been kind to it.  Briefly, D.J.'s Native American teacher has the kids put on a play where two Pulp-Fictional pilgrims gun down Indians.  The Conners love the play but a prissy mom, Dawn (Colleen Camp, in her middle of three Roseanne cameos), is disgusted.  Then there's a long fantasy sequence where the family is Pilgrims, and then the teacher and his (unintroduced) family show up for Thanksgiving.

On the surface, that's not necessarily a bad idea for an episode, not a good one, but not a bad one.  It's the execution that really stinks.  If the teacher was trying to make a historical point, why the modern touch?  Why does everyone on all the sides of the issue get up on a soapbox, instead of talking like human beings?  (And at one point Darlene is reduced to a pseudo-intellectual college student stereotype, which is very much not who she was.  The Darlene of earlier seasons would've ruthlessly mocked this young woman who uses words like "bourgeois.")  And why is poor Anne-Marie dragged in just for a couple lines?  (OK, her "Excuse me?" in reply to the claim that people came to America for freedom was funny, but it made her character seem like a token when she was given little else to do.)  If recent episodes felt heavy-handed, this one is as heavy as an anchor.  Still, I would've gone with a D+ if the structure of the show wasn't another plotpourri like the Halloween episode.  Thank Mother Earth there was no Christmas episode that year.

Lynn Ann Leveridge, who was Lucy on Roseanne in '91, is an unknown character here.  Ahmad Stoner's third and final appearance on the series is unnamed but is probably the boy who does the Thanksgiving alphabet poem; Jason Davis, also in his third and last Roseanne role, is likely the fat kid who plays a killer in the play.  Diana Theodore is another young teen playing someone unknown and would be a Young Woman on Ellen in '98.  Staff writers Ritch Shydner (who wrote this mess of a script) and Sid Youngers have yet more nameless roles.

Three's Company: Jack's Navy Pal

Three's Company: Jack's Navy Pal
ABC
February 7, 1978
Sitcom
DVD
D

This is understandably one of the most hated Three's Company episodes.  It starts out all right, with Jack practicing the Charleston for a date to a Roaring '20s party, and flirting heavily with Chrissy when she dances with him.  And the trio deciding to butter up Mr. Roper so he won't raise their rent $75 (from $300/month) could've been a fine if not terribly original plot.

And then it goes off the rails when the title character shows up.  Jim Walsh was in the Navy with Jack but he was no pal.  Jack tells the girls that Jim was the meanest person he ever met.  And Jim certainly lives up to it: twice hitting Jack for no reason, demolishing the furniture (and Chrissy's teddy bear), insulting everyone, and grinning the whole time.  The audience isn't even given a catharsis when Jack, after much persuasion, tries to hit Jim (he's hesitant because Jim is temporarily blind), since Jim blocks the punch.  And the trio are stuck paying for the damages to the apartment!

Levitt, Wayne, and Burditt all contributed to this story, so who knows how the blame should be apportioned?  Presumably nobody spoke up (as for instance DeWitt would about the "blonde wig" episode) to say that this episode just wasn't going to work.  And there are people out there who actually enjoy this episode, presumably in a dark-comedy sort of way.  I don't know if it's the worst 3'sC episode ever, but I've always found it the worst from the early seasons.

The Midnight Special: Tom Jones

The Midnight Special: Tom Jones

NBC
December 17, 1976

Variety

DVD
D

Jones sings the creepy song "Delilah."  Wolfman Jack hosts again.

After School Specials: The Skating Rink

A triangle?  No, they're just resting from skating.

After School Specials: The Skating Rink
ABC
February 5, 1975
Children's
DVD
D

Bob Rodgers also adapted "The Eighteenth Emergency" and "Summer of the Swans," so I don't know if it's his fault or the original source material, Mildred Lee's novel, that this is so dismal.  I suppose some blame should also go to director Larry Elikann, but the two would team up for my favorite Special, 1976's "Dear Lovey Hart: I Am Desperate."  The writing is poor and inconsistent within itself, taking the most glaring example that sometimes the farmer dad is upset when Tuck comes home late and sometimes there are zero consequences.  The sound and lighting are poor, which is a particular problem during the final ice-skating performance.  None of the characters are particularly likable, and I kept expecting something more considering the weird subtext, like that the coach would turn out to be corrupt in some way, or Tuck would develop a crush on his coach's young wife, Lilly Degley (22-year-old Devon Ericson, who would play Janet's college-age sister three years later on Three's Company).  Oh well, this isn't as painful as the last program I watched.

Cynthia Eilbacher was Caroline on That Girl and is Elva Grimes here.  Patricia Stevens moonlights from M*A*S*H, as Tuck's mother, while Robert Clotworthy plays her son Clete and would later be Private Welch on that show.  Molly Dodd, who had a couple roles on The Brady Bunch, is Mrs. Bayliss here.  Tara Talboy had played Lisa on The Bob Newhart Show and is Tuck's sister Karen here.  Seven-year-old Sparky Marcus plays Tuck in the flashbacks and would later turn up on What's Happening!!

Hong Kong Phooey: Comedy Cowboys

Hong Kong Phooey: Comedy Cowboys
ABC
December 21, 1974
Cartoon
DVD
D

This is sort of a back-door pilot to not one but three other cartoon segments, none of which are interesting or, despite the title, funny.  Various Western-style superheroes try to clear Hong Kong Phooey's name but it takes a random mouse and of course Spot to defeat the villain Tin Nose.  Instead of the usual supporting voice cast, we get Daws Butler, Don Messick, Ed Peck, and, well, still Lennie Weinrib.  Whatever weaknesses the series has, this is a pathetic final episode.

The series as a whole averages out to a C+, so I don't strongly recommend it.  I suggest watching a few episodes but not buying the whole season.