Roseanne: The Last Thursday in November

Roseanne: The Last Thursday in November
ABC
November 21, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
D

Oh, jeez.  I guess we can call this the Shark Jump.  Not that there won't be OK and maybe even good episodes down the line, but I thought this episode was bad at the time and time has not been kind to it.  Briefly, D.J.'s Native American teacher has the kids put on a play where two Pulp-Fictional pilgrims gun down Indians.  The Conners love the play but a prissy mom, Dawn (Colleen Camp, in her middle of three Roseanne cameos), is disgusted.  Then there's a long fantasy sequence where the family is Pilgrims, and then the teacher and his (unintroduced) family show up for Thanksgiving.

On the surface, that's not necessarily a bad idea for an episode, not a good one, but not a bad one.  It's the execution that really stinks.  If the teacher was trying to make a historical point, why the modern touch?  Why does everyone on all the sides of the issue get up on a soapbox, instead of talking like human beings?  (And at one point Darlene is reduced to a pseudo-intellectual college student stereotype, which is very much not who she was.  The Darlene of earlier seasons would've ruthlessly mocked this young woman who uses words like "bourgeois.")  And why is poor Anne-Marie dragged in just for a couple lines?  (OK, her "Excuse me?" in reply to the claim that people came to America for freedom was funny, but it made her character seem like a token when she was given little else to do.)  If recent episodes felt heavy-handed, this one is as heavy as an anchor.  Still, I would've gone with a D+ if the structure of the show wasn't another plotpourri like the Halloween episode.  Thank Mother Earth there was no Christmas episode that year.

Lynn Ann Leveridge, who was Lucy on Roseanne in '91, is an unknown character here.  Ahmad Stoner's third and final appearance on the series is unnamed but is probably the boy who does the Thanksgiving alphabet poem; Jason Davis, also in his third and last Roseanne role, is likely the fat kid who plays a killer in the play.  Diana Theodore is another young teen playing someone unknown and would be a Young Woman on Ellen in '98.  Staff writers Ritch Shydner (who wrote this mess of a script) and Sid Youngers have yet more nameless roles.

Roseanne: Promises, Promises

Roseanne: Promises, Promises
ABC
April 6, 1993
Sitcom
DVD
A-

Mike Gandolfi wrote this hilarious yet poignant episode.  It starts with another poker game in the kitchen, this time with two new players: David, and Chuck's friend Roger (Tim Curry in his first of two cameos).  Nancy comes in and Roger flirts outrageously with her, which she enjoys.  Chuck drops hints when Nancy's out of the room that she's a lesbian, but Dan doesn't want to discuss it in front of "the kid," till David announces it himself.  Nonetheless, Nancy does go out with Roger, whom Roseanne had hoped to fix up with her sister.  Jackie is understandably nervous about dating again, although she does show up in that red zippered dress.  In another of my all-time favorite lines, she says, "Now I'm losing men to lesbians!'  Nancy explains her bisexuality as her being "a people person."

Meanwhile, Prom Night is coming up and Roseanne makes Darlene prom-ise to go.  But Darlene has an ulterior motive, booking a motel room so she and David can lose their virginities together.  He's so nervous that he's impotent.  She's surprisingly sympathetic (and not just for her), but it doesn't help.  In the tag, they're back in the motel room, now darkened, and we hear them declare them love.  She asks if they're going to have sex now and, after a pause, he says, "I think I just did."

Doug Fieger makes his third and last appearance as Nick.  Danielle Harris is listed on IMDB, but I didn't notice Molly, although Mara Hobel has a couple scenes as Charlotte.

Roseanne: War and Peace

Roseanne: War and Peace
ABC
January 12, 1993
Sitcom
DVD
A-

This Heline & Heisler conclusion of the two-parter again manages the tonal shifts with skill, as when Gilbert rocks it with her amazing delivery on some of the funniest lines.  But even a scene like Jackie being both grateful to and angry at Dan blends humor and drama.  We find out in this episode that Fisher has beaten Jackie before and they both hid that.  Jackie, despite loving Fisher, finds the courage to leave him.  The scene of Dan explaining his time in jail to DJ is an interesting contrast to the Soap scene, from about fifteen years earlier, of Jessica Tate explaining to her fifteen-year-old son why "Daddy" was in jail for killing cousin Peter.  (Or was it Corinne in jail at that point?)

I would've gone with another B+ but Dan's rendition of "Jailhouse Rock" in the tag brings this closer to perfection.

John "Juke" Logan, who was Man Who Takes Chair, in the first season here is the Prisoner with Harmonica, while Prisoner Alex Cole would be a Male Customer later this year.  Roseanne's 14-year-old son Jake Pentland has his second role on the show, as the Paper Boy.  And Jeremy Roberts, Jay in the previous episode, here has a nameless part.

Roseanne: Halloween IV

Not the last time Roseanne would
be Ginger from Gilligan's Island.

Roseanne: Halloween IV
ABC
October 27, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Rob Ulin wrote this episode where the most interesting thing is the flashback with Dan and Roseanne as teenagers.  I'd like to have seen more of that, and had them dump the whole tired Christmas Carol thing.  Zoe Perry would again play Little Jackie three years later.  And once again, poor James Pickens, Jr., gets axed from the overcrowded tags.

Roseanne: Pretty in Black

Roseanne: Pretty in Black
ABC
October 13, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Amy Sherman wrote this episode that introduces the new neighbors, the Tildens: single dad Ty (Wings Hauser, who'd return four times more) and his daughters Charlotte (Mara Hobel, also four more) and Molly (Danielle Harris, six more).  Darlene turns sixteen and dyes her hair black.  David complains that Darlene has all the power in the relationship, which over time would be Flanderized.  When Roseanne hears that Nancy is going to join Jackie in the loose-meat restaurant, she doesn't want to be left out.  Not a bad episode, but definitely the weakest of the season so far.

Note that Roseanne claims that she had sex with Dan on her sixteenth birthday, but elsewhere it's suggested that their first time was later.  (Maybe it was different kinds of sex.)  This is Laurie Metcalf's 100th episode.

Roseanne: Less Is More

Roseanne: Less Is More
ABC
February 11, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
B

The series again deals with subjects not then seen on sitcoms.  This time, Roseanne considers and then goes through with breast reduction surgery, because of her continuing back troubles.  (Remember, seven years earlier, ABC was skittish about the "Samantha's first bra" episode, and you would never have heard the word "breast," let alone "nipple" then, even if it was about Mona's bras.)  We see how the family (minus DJ) react, including Dan wanting to be supportive because he knows this is related to her health, but also having to get used to the idea of the woman he's loved for twenty years changing her body.  Roseanne's friends, including a maybe five-months-pregnant at this point (although there's still frost on the ground) Crystal, show their support with jokes and balloons and musings on men's breast fixation.  It feels like this is something too big to be wrapped up in one half-hour episode, but it's well handled under the circumstances.

In the wall-breaking tag, Arnold talks to Goodman about the scene in the kitchen (where Roseanne coaxes a nervous Dan into kissing and touching her).  Arnold says he was locked in his trailer and missed it, so Goodman says he played it as Arnold advised, ending with a platonic handshake.  Arnold, in an even more laugh-out-loud than at the time line says, "I love being a producer!"

D'Anne Avner makes her second appearance on the show, presumably again as a Woman in the Coffee Shop, while Rick Spector's second appearance is as another Customer, and Customer Susan Krebs was Nurse Gleason on M*A*S*H.  Walter Jacobson is back as Walter.  Neil Patrick Harris, then 18, guest-stars as his Dr. Doogie Howser character in Roseanne's nightmare, to the delight of the studio audience.  Amy Sherman wrote the story that Foster & Lapiduss based their teleplay on.  This is the first episode Mancuso has directed this season, maybe because it's a more "female" episode than usual.

Roseanne: Bingo

Roseanne: Bingo
ABC
January 7, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
B

Tom Arnold (who appears in one scene) and Robert Miranda (who had been Andy in earlier seasons) wrote the story that Madison & Youngers based the teleplay on.  It's another girls' night out (minus Jackie) and Crystal suggests bingo.  She and Roseanne quarrel and we later find out that Crystal is pregnant again, although she's been breastfeeding nine-month-old Little Ed.  Roseanne becomes addicted to bingo, as Jackie realizes when she accompanies her sister to the church.

Mitzi McCall, who plays Peg, was the voice of Penny on The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show and would be Rochelle Shapiro on Ellen.  Priest David Sage was Don Lester on Who's the Boss?  The peerless Edie McClurg plays Harriet.

Roseanne: Trick Me Up, Trick Me Down

Roseanne: Trick Me Up, Trick Me Down
ABC
October 29, 1991
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This was better than I expected, considering it's not only a Halloween episode but it features the Bowmans (Meagen Fay and Danton Stone again).  Amy Sherman wrote the script, which has Roseanne expecting Kathy Bowman's revenge, until finally Dan has to pull a lame prank and have Roseanne think it was Kathy's scheme.  Meanwhile, we get to see a lot of cool costumes, Dan & Roseanne's "ventriloquism" act," and the return of Booker, in a moose costume!  Note that Nancy is referred to but not seen and Arnie asks Jackie to act like they never had sex.

Again, apologies to James Pickens, Jr. for having to drop him out of the overcrowded tags.

Roseanne: Why Jackie Became a Trucker

Roseanne: Why Jackie Became a Trucker
ABC
October 1, 1991
Sitcom
DVD
B

Chuck Lorre wrote this episode which does indeed explain why Jackie becomes a trucker.  She runs into Gary offscreen and becomes depressed, especially since he's now engaged.  Also offscreen, she gets drunk and sleeps with Arnie, who's still engaged to Nancy.  But we don't know this when the episode opens and it looks like the plot is going to be about D.J. wanting to keep the dog he got in a trade with a friend.  Dan has a poker night, including Leon, so Roseanne has a girls' night out.  But Jackie is more depressed than ever and when she tells the other women, they're horrified.  (We learn that Arnie went to high school with Roseanne and her friends.)  Meanwhile, the guys are surprised to find out Leon is gay but they're mostly accepting.  (Arnie has a funny line where he swaps out Andy Griffith for sleeping with Melanie Griffith.)  Anyway, Jackie decides to make some changes in her life, so, yes, she's going to become a trucker.

I again have to omit James Pickens, Jr. because of excessive tags, but he does have a funny line about "gay Bill in Chicago."  Michael Traeger wouldn't return as Marvin till '94.

Roseanne: Scenes from a Barbecue

Roseanne: Scenes from a Barbecue
ABC
May 7, 1991
Sitcom
DVD
B

Shelley Winters makes her first of ten appearances as Roseanne's beloved Nana Mary.  At 70, she was too young to plausibly be 38-year-old Barr's grandmother, let alone the mother of the (unseen in this episode) 63-year-old Estelle Parsons, but no matter.  She looks and acts enough like Roseanne, that when she says Roseanne will be her in 40 years, we believe it.*  Writers Myer & Lorre are a bit heavy-handed about how everyone in the family adores Nana, which keeps this from being a B+.  Still, it's a solid third-season episode, without much plot but a lot of character interaction, from Nana assuring the black Mitchells she's not prejudiced, to the men's argument about how to BBQ.  The highlight is of course Bonnie surprising her friends with her beautiful voice for "You Really Got a Hold On Me" during the singalong.  (If I remember correctly, David Crosby would later show up as her referred to but not yet seen husband Duke, and we'd get a delicious duet.)

Kristopher Kent Hill returns as Lonnie.  James Pickens, Jr. and Adilah Barnes are back as Chuck and Anne-Marie, but I had to cut someone out of my excessive tags.  This is the only episode where we see Chuck, Jr., who's 16.


*Having read autobiographies by both women, I can say that Winters and Barr were quite a bit alike in real life as well, from being Jewish and "loud-mouthed" to having been pregnant as teenagers.  Their politics, at least at the time, were also similar.  But, yes, the physical resemblance is striking.

Roseanne: The Wedding

Roseanne: The Wedding
ABC
January 15, 1991
Sitcom
DVD
B

The wedding goes forward, despite Dan's disapproval, especially when he finds out that Crystal is pregnant.  (I remember calling it when I first saw this episode, as soon as they said that Crystal kept going to the bathroom.)  He does come around eventually.  Jeff Abugov's script again offers drama and comedy, the latter including the awful pink bridesmaids' dresses that of course haven't improved with age.  Note that Crystal's recounting of her marriages does not match what we heard in the first season.  Also, the title is retrospectively plain, considering how many more weddings would be on this somewhat soap-operatic sitcom.

Lynn Ann Leveridge appears as Lucy and would return as an unknown character.  Kristopher Kent Hall takes over the role of Lonnie, which he'll keep for three years but only four more appearances.  And, yes, Crystal and Anne-Marie (Adilah Barnes) remember each other from high school.

Roseanne: Bird Is the Word

Roseanne: Bird Is the Word
ABC
November 13, 1990
Sitcom
DVD
B

Despite some continuity issues, which I'll get to, this is a good episode with a nice twist.  Several students of the Class of '93, including it seems Becky, give the finger in the class photo.  Roseanne has to go see Principal Hiller (Dann Florek, who would return several seasons later as Darlene's doctor), and in the outer office she reconnects with her old high school friend Anne-Marie Mitchell (Adilah Barnes in her first of fifteen appearances).  Then it turns out it was another kid's hand but Becky took the credit for it because it made her more popular.

This is the first of eight Roseanne episodes written by Joel Madison and Don Foster, but I don't know if that explains the inconsistencies.  Becky is supposed to be 16 at this point, although a previous episode put her birthday in March.  Also, it appears that Darlene isn't yet at high school, so either she got left back, or they extended the years of the junior high, a la The Brady Bunch when Marcia started high school so much later than Greg.  Furthermore, we've already met Anne-Marie's husband Chuck, although the writers may not then have intended to give him the family they would, including an at the moment unseen Chuck, Jr.  Note that there's a joke about Gilligan's Island, which would be ironic after the GI tribute episode.