Roseanne: Lanford's Elite

Roseanne: Lanford's Elite
ABC
February 4, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
C+

This episode manages to be both a little slow-moving and a bit forced, although it's only when we see two clips from the season-one-closer that it's evident how much of the raw energy has gone from the show.  (I tagged Natalie West, even though Crystal doesn't have any lines.)  At the Lanford Country Club, Roseanne meets Edward Wellman, Jr. (James Brolin in the first of two cameos), son of the Wellman family who owned the plastics factory that Roseanne and Jackie used to work for.  He convinces her to buy the factory for $1 million, and then she'll turn it over to the workers.  Richard Paul makes his first of two appearances as an apparently nameless character and doesn't look much different than he did in the early '80s on Match Game.  Allan Stephan wrote the story, but the teleplay is the first of two Roseanne writing gigs for Richard Whitley, while Whitley's partner on the teleplay, Bob Rubin, had played an Audience Member earlier in the season.

Roseanne: Lies My Father Told Me

Roseanne: Lies My Father Told Me
ABC
March 29, 1994
Sitcom
DVD
B

While there are good things about this episode, whose story is by Rob Ulin and whose teleplay is by Eric Gilliland, I don't feel that the tonal shifts are as well handled as they would've been in Season Five or even Season Four, keeping this from a B+ or even A-.  At the end of the previous episode, Dan came home from committing his mother, Audrey, to a mental institution.  In this episode, he blames his father and even gets drunk so he can tell his dad off, but Ed isn't home, so Dan ends up wrecking the living room and scaring Crysal and Lonnie (Kristopher Kent Hill in his last appearance).  Crystal later tells Roseanne in an offscreen phone call that Audrey's mental issues predate her marriage.  It's difficult and painful for Dan to accept the truth, but he goes to talk to his father and they make up.  Unfortunately, this is the last we'll see of Ed, and I'm going to miss how Beatty and Goodman act so well together.  Meanwhile, the older kids' attempts to make D.J. think he's going crazy like Grandma Conner are funny, but I'm not sure how well they work as comic relief, coming across as overly tasteless under the circumstances.

I'm reluctantly omitting Estelle Parsons from the overcrowded tags.

Roseanne: Past Imperfect

Roseanne: Past Imperfect
ABC
March 22, 1994
Sitcom
DVD
B

David Raether wrote this story where Fred finds out that Jackie has been with about 60 men, while Fred has been with three women (presumably counting Jackie).  He has trouble coping with it but Roseanne of course finds a way to make him accept it, by reminding him that he and Jackie are in love and had a baby together, and she lies and says that Jackie said he was the best.  On a personal note, I'll say that watching this as a 26-year-old who'd only kissed one guy besides my then about to be ex-husband was a very different experience than watching it in middle age.  (Although my total is still much closer to Fred's.)

The other thread is about Dan's father being late with an alimony payment and Dan confronting his dad (Ned Beatty's penultimate appearance in the role), before going to pay his mother the money himself.  It was weird to see Ed and Crystal again, because it feels like they belong to a completely different era of the show, and I wished that, as good as the Fred & Jackie plot was, that more time had been spent on this plot.  Still, the next episode will focus more on Dan's family.

Future Roseanne writer Bob Nickman here makes his first onscreen appearance, as the Waiter.

Roseanne: War and Peace

Roseanne: War and Peace
ABC
January 12, 1993
Sitcom
DVD
A-

This Heline & Heisler conclusion of the two-parter again manages the tonal shifts with skill, as when Gilbert rocks it with her amazing delivery on some of the funniest lines.  But even a scene like Jackie being both grateful to and angry at Dan blends humor and drama.  We find out in this episode that Fisher has beaten Jackie before and they both hid that.  Jackie, despite loving Fisher, finds the courage to leave him.  The scene of Dan explaining his time in jail to DJ is an interesting contrast to the Soap scene, from about fifteen years earlier, of Jessica Tate explaining to her fifteen-year-old son why "Daddy" was in jail for killing cousin Peter.  (Or was it Corinne in jail at that point?)

I would've gone with another B+ but Dan's rendition of "Jailhouse Rock" in the tag brings this closer to perfection.

John "Juke" Logan, who was Man Who Takes Chair, in the first season here is the Prisoner with Harmonica, while Prisoner Alex Cole would be a Male Customer later this year.  Roseanne's 14-year-old son Jake Pentland has his second role on the show, as the Paper Boy.  And Jeremy Roberts, Jay in the previous episode, here has a nameless part.

Roseanne: Halloween IV

Not the last time Roseanne would
be Ginger from Gilligan's Island.

Roseanne: Halloween IV
ABC
October 27, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Rob Ulin wrote this episode where the most interesting thing is the flashback with Dan and Roseanne as teenagers.  I'd like to have seen more of that, and had them dump the whole tired Christmas Carol thing.  Zoe Perry would again play Little Jackie three years later.  And once again, poor James Pickens, Jr., gets axed from the overcrowded tags.

Roseanne: Pretty in Black

Roseanne: Pretty in Black
ABC
October 13, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Amy Sherman wrote this episode that introduces the new neighbors, the Tildens: single dad Ty (Wings Hauser, who'd return four times more) and his daughters Charlotte (Mara Hobel, also four more) and Molly (Danielle Harris, six more).  Darlene turns sixteen and dyes her hair black.  David complains that Darlene has all the power in the relationship, which over time would be Flanderized.  When Roseanne hears that Nancy is going to join Jackie in the loose-meat restaurant, she doesn't want to be left out.  Not a bad episode, but definitely the weakest of the season so far.

Note that Roseanne claims that she had sex with Dan on her sixteenth birthday, but elsewhere it's suggested that their first time was later.  (Maybe it was different kinds of sex.)  This is Laurie Metcalf's 100th episode.

Roseanne: Terms of Estrangement, Part 1

Roseanne: Terms of Estrangement, Part 1
ABC
September 15, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
B+

As when The Brady Bunch didn't update the opening credits for a season, there's a shock to the system seeing the kids suddenly two years older, with updated hairdos, as we shift from "poker-playing" credits to "pizza-eating" credits.  (And Natalie West no longer appears there, although Crystal is in this episode, with both babies.)  Even more of a shock, to the point that the studio audience very audibly reacts, is Becky telling off Dan for ruining the family's life with his failed business, and then calling her parents to tell them she's eloped with Mark to Minneapolis.  As Roseanne says, re the economy, "It's the '90s!  Who knew?"  The realest of realistic sitcoms is definitely keepin' it real as Season Five kicks off.  And meanwhile Nancy tries liposuction after Arnie serves the separation papers.  (From outer space?  OK, not everything here is realistic.)

Carl Franklin returns as Officer Gil Robbins.  This is the first of three Roseanne scripts by the team of Sy Dukane and Denise Moss.

Roseanne: Aliens

Roseanne: Aliens
ABC
May 12, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
B+

Joel Madison wrote the story with Ron Nelson (who has very few credits, none on my other shows), but the teleplay with Jeff Abugov, and it contains the following:

• Becky finding out that due to her family's financial struggles, there's no money for her to attend more than community college, despite her great grades;
• Leon turning out to be human, trying to find his waitresses (whose last day is now here) new jobs and bringing in sparkling cider;
• Roseanne making a political candidate regret his door-to-door campaigning, twice, by talking about the economy;
• Arnie leaving Nancy a note that he's being kidnapped by aliens, and then in the tag this proving to be true;
• Nancy seeing Jackie having had a "relationship" with Arnie as a bonding thing for them, when Jackie would just as soon that everyone forget about it; 
• DJ (again called David Jacob) winning the school spelling bee, with his family rooting him on, and his parents knowing it's in the bag when his last word is "foreclosure";
• and a celebratory ice cream fight.

Steve Kramer was the English voice of Wilde Wolf on Maple Town and is Roger's Father here.  Teacher Anna Gee Byrd had played a Nurse on Who's the Boss?  Clint Allmon and Jeff Heston would return as Aliens #1 and #2.  Thanks to appearances elsewhere, this is the 100th show of mine for Roseanne Barr (well, Roseanne Arnold at that point).

Roseanne in its fourth season ranges from B- to A-, averaging out to an impressive B.  There are none of the big missteps like in previous seasons (e.g. Roseanne's dream of murdering her family), and even the Bowmans don't wreck the show.  Season Four is wise and wisecracking, with moments of drama and reality, from emotional to financial, as well as silliness, as this episode amply demonstrates.  That the tonal shifts are smooth rather than awkward is to the credit of director Weyman, the writers, and of course the chemistry-rich cast.  We believe in the Conners and company and we can't wait to see where life takes them next.

Roseanne: Secrets

Roseanne: Secrets
ABC
April 28, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This is the only Roseanne story by Lawrence H. Levy, who wrote one Who's the Boss? episode, oddly enough with the word "Secret" in the title ("Marie's Secret").  The big secret here is that Dan covers for Mark when the latter gets drunk and punches a jukebox at the Lobo Lounge.  I assume the intention was to show Dan and Mark further bonding, but I don't like Dan keeping it from Roseanne, and then Jackie blabs to her.  Perhaps there will be fallout later.  Meanwhile, Chuckie has lost his job at Wellman.  (And, yes, I'm again omitting poor James Pickens, Jr., because of overcrowded tags.)  Note that this is the episode that first mentions Arnie encountering aliens, and it would be funny if Levy just threw that in there and then the regular staff writers decided to run with it.

Jim Staskel played Thug #2 on the "Force Boxman" episode of It's Garry Shandling's Show and is Kelvin here.  Don Maxwell makes his third and last appearance as Willy, while Dan Butler is Art for the third and last, and Michael Dempsey is Ray for the second and last.

Roseanne: Deliverance

Roseanne: Deliverance
ABC
March 31, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
B

Chuck Lorre wrote the story, Abugov & Madison the teleplay.  The title refers to Crystal giving birth to a daughter in the eighth month, but the more interesting threads* are about Leon leaving the coffee shop and Roseanne and Bonnie both wanting to replace him; and David learning to give Darlene some space, even though he keeps dropping by for dinner.  (Later we'll learn more about David's home life and see that it's not simply that he wants to be around Darlene.)  Note that Roseanne says that Bonnie ties with Nancy and Anne-Marie for third best friend, after Jackie and Crystal.

*Sorry, Crystal, but it's pretty clear that the writers and others agree, since we could see the conversation between you and Lonnie (Kristopher Kent Hill), but instead we go out into the hallway to focus on Roseanne making up with Bonnie.

Roseanne: Less Is More

Roseanne: Less Is More
ABC
February 11, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
B

The series again deals with subjects not then seen on sitcoms.  This time, Roseanne considers and then goes through with breast reduction surgery, because of her continuing back troubles.  (Remember, seven years earlier, ABC was skittish about the "Samantha's first bra" episode, and you would never have heard the word "breast," let alone "nipple" then, even if it was about Mona's bras.)  We see how the family (minus DJ) react, including Dan wanting to be supportive because he knows this is related to her health, but also having to get used to the idea of the woman he's loved for twenty years changing her body.  Roseanne's friends, including a maybe five-months-pregnant at this point (although there's still frost on the ground) Crystal, show their support with jokes and balloons and musings on men's breast fixation.  It feels like this is something too big to be wrapped up in one half-hour episode, but it's well handled under the circumstances.

In the wall-breaking tag, Arnold talks to Goodman about the scene in the kitchen (where Roseanne coaxes a nervous Dan into kissing and touching her).  Arnold says he was locked in his trailer and missed it, so Goodman says he played it as Arnold advised, ending with a platonic handshake.  Arnold, in an even more laugh-out-loud than at the time line says, "I love being a producer!"

D'Anne Avner makes her second appearance on the show, presumably again as a Woman in the Coffee Shop, while Rick Spector's second appearance is as another Customer, and Customer Susan Krebs was Nurse Gleason on M*A*S*H.  Walter Jacobson is back as Walter.  Neil Patrick Harris, then 18, guest-stars as his Dr. Doogie Howser character in Roseanne's nightmare, to the delight of the studio audience.  Amy Sherman wrote the story that Foster & Lapiduss based their teleplay on.  This is the first episode Mancuso has directed this season, maybe because it's a more "female" episode than usual.

Roseanne: The Bowling Show

Roseanne: The Bowling Show
ABC
January 21, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
B

Obviously this wasn't the only bowling show in the series, since there was a first season episode set at the alley.  But the bowling is the least interesting aspect of this episode, which contains the following:

• David Crosby makes his only appearance as Bonnie's musician husband Duke, singing one of his own songs ("Thousand Roads," which sounds better here than on the acoustic CSN concert of a few months ago), as well as a fine aduet with Bonnie;
• Chuck (Pickens, sorry, again dropped from my limited tags) gets more to do than usual, this time using Dan and Arnie's anger at each other to make them bowl better;
• Nancy and Jackie bond and Roseanne is jealous;
• And most significant of all, 16-year-old Johnny Galecki appears as Mark's brother "Kevin Healy."  He's babysitting DJ, since Mark showed up several hours late for his date with Becky.  When Darlene enters, there's instance attraction, which Dan thinks is cute, till he finds out who Kevin is.  This happens in the tag and may've been meant as a throwaway, but it would have long-ranging impact.

Don Foster wrote the story that Abugov & Sherman turned into a teleplay.  Michael Dempsey plays Dan's friend Ray for the first of two times.  This is the 1400th sitcom episode I've reviewed.

Roseanne: Bingo

Roseanne: Bingo
ABC
January 7, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
B

Tom Arnold (who appears in one scene) and Robert Miranda (who had been Andy in earlier seasons) wrote the story that Madison & Youngers based the teleplay on.  It's another girls' night out (minus Jackie) and Crystal suggests bingo.  She and Roseanne quarrel and we later find out that Crystal is pregnant again, although she's been breastfeeding nine-month-old Little Ed.  Roseanne becomes addicted to bingo, as Jackie realizes when she accompanies her sister to the church.

Mitzi McCall, who plays Peg, was the voice of Penny on The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show and would be Rochelle Shapiro on Ellen.  Priest David Sage was Don Lester on Who's the Boss?  The peerless Edie McClurg plays Harriet.

Roseanne: Santa Claus

Roseanne: Santa Claus
ABC
December 24, 1991
Sitcom
DVD
B

Barry Vigon wrote the story that Lapiduss & Lorre made into a teleplay, and, yes, it's sort of about Christmas, but not exactly.  Since the job playing Mrs. Claus at Rodbell's department store pays $7.50 versus $10 for Santa, Roseanne cross-dresses as a feminist gesture, and for the under the table cash.  She meets Darlene's new friend, who turns out to be Roseanne's age and the owner of a bookstore.  Roseanne feels confused and jealous about Karen Miller (another nice turn for Lee Garlington, who'd memorably played Ms. Foster from the IRS on Who's the Boss?, although I don't remember her '89 role on Roseanne as Carole Karoszek).  Finding out that there's a whole hidden side to Darlene, writing sci-fi short stories, doesn't help.

Walter Jacobson returns as Walter from the appliance store, doing another mini-rant.  Julianne Michelle, who's a nameless Child here, had been on the most recent episode of Who's the Boss? as Katie Havlock, while Ross Malinger, who's Sammy Miller, played three different roles in the "Billy season" of WtB.

Roseanne: Kansas City, Here We Come

Roseanne: Kansas City, Here We Come
ABC
December 3, 1991
Sitcom
DVD
B

This is the first of four Roseanne episodes written by David Forbes, covering a span of about four years, here co-writing with staff writer Amy Sherman.  It is willing to be both morally ambiguous and realistically unresolved.  It turns out that Roseanne's father has been having an affair for twenty years, not two.  Jackie invites her on a road trip to KC to meet the "other woman," Joan Crinshaw (Kay Arnold, who would return in the role).  Joan turns out to be much nicer than they expect, and Jackie in particular isn't sure how to feel about this.

Meanwhile, Becky has a new job as a supermarket cashier, and her boss (offscreen) demotes her and calls her a horrible word.  (Note that DJ asks Darlene if Becky was called "the L-word," and Darlene asks, "What's the L-word?", pretty ironic in retrospect.)  Dan goes down to the store to talk to the boss and finds out that Mark already punched him in the stomach, so now Becky will get her job back, and an apology.  Dan isn't sure how to feel about this, especially since he wanted the option of punching the boss himself.  Roseanne thinks it's cool when she hears, and she wonders if Mark is "the guy" for Becky.  He is, but not yet, as Becky is understandably angry about Mark not letting her fight her own battles.

Roseanne: Thanksgiving 1991

Four generations of women

Roseanne: Thanksgiving 1991
ABC
November 26, 1991
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Brad Isaacs wrote this script, which feels a little forced, especially in regards to Darlene hiding out in her room but still being visited, and Beverly's announcement of and reaction to her husband's affair of two years.  Also, Mark is absent, despite Roseanne's promise, as he has other plans.  Still, it's interesting to see Winters and Parsons play off each other as mother and daughter, and for that matter Barr and Gilbert in the tag.  (And, yes, the great-grandmother and great-granddaughter scene with Darlene and Nana Mary).  I also like how Dan plays "big brother" to Lonnie (still Kristopher Kent Hill).  Note that Dan's father is absent as well as Roseanne's.

Roseanne: Trick Me Up, Trick Me Down

Roseanne: Trick Me Up, Trick Me Down
ABC
October 29, 1991
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This was better than I expected, considering it's not only a Halloween episode but it features the Bowmans (Meagen Fay and Danton Stone again).  Amy Sherman wrote the script, which has Roseanne expecting Kathy Bowman's revenge, until finally Dan has to pull a lame prank and have Roseanne think it was Kathy's scheme.  Meanwhile, we get to see a lot of cool costumes, Dan & Roseanne's "ventriloquism" act," and the return of Booker, in a moose costume!  Note that Nancy is referred to but not seen and Arnie asks Jackie to act like they never had sex.

Again, apologies to James Pickens, Jr. for having to drop him out of the overcrowded tags.

Roseanne: Why Jackie Became a Trucker

Roseanne: Why Jackie Became a Trucker
ABC
October 1, 1991
Sitcom
DVD
B

Chuck Lorre wrote this episode which does indeed explain why Jackie becomes a trucker.  She runs into Gary offscreen and becomes depressed, especially since he's now engaged.  Also offscreen, she gets drunk and sleeps with Arnie, who's still engaged to Nancy.  But we don't know this when the episode opens and it looks like the plot is going to be about D.J. wanting to keep the dog he got in a trade with a friend.  Dan has a poker night, including Leon, so Roseanne has a girls' night out.  But Jackie is more depressed than ever and when she tells the other women, they're horrified.  (We learn that Arnie went to high school with Roseanne and her friends.)  Meanwhile, the guys are surprised to find out Leon is gay but they're mostly accepting.  (Arnie has a funny line where he swaps out Andy Griffith for sleeping with Melanie Griffith.)  Anyway, Jackie decides to make some changes in her life, so, yes, she's going to become a trucker.

I again have to omit James Pickens, Jr. because of excessive tags, but he does have a funny line about "gay Bill in Chicago."  Michael Traeger wouldn't return as Marvin till '94.

Roseanne: A Bitter Pill to Swallow

Roseanne: A Bitter Pill to Swallow
ABC
September 17, 1991
Sitcom
DVD
B

So Roseanne moved over to Tuesdays at 9 p.m. (in the old Three's Company slot as it happens) and would be #2 in its fourth season.  (For continuity though, they kept the Season Three opening credits, even though the kids will look increasingly too young in it, even D.J.)  The focus in this Sherman & Heath opener is on the family, although that now includes Crystal and Ed's new baby, Little Ed.  Yeah, you might've expected there to be a birth episode, but this is hardly the last pregnancy on this soap-operatic show.*  The next one won't be Becky's, since she tells her mother that she wants to go on the Pill.  Roseanne and Dan have trouble accepting this, especially with their dislike of Mark, although Dan is trying to accept him and even has him working at the bike shop.  If it feels like we're missing a couple episodes, I guess the writers figured we had enough set-up and let's just pick things up a few months later, like we're catching up with old friends, which we sort of are.  Note that Darlene is hostile to Mark on the phone and I continue to be baffled why they're SPOILER paired off in the series finale.  Yeah, I can't wait to see the retcon with the reboot.

Getting back to '91, Becky is now 17 and admits to her mother that she and Mark already had sex, using a condom.  I can't think of a similar situation on any sitcom of that time or earlier.  I mean, as far as we know Mallory Keaton was still a virgin after dating Nick for years.  (Unless I missed that Very Special Episode of Family Ties.)  And the Brady girls were never even shown kissing until they were engaged.  It's going to be a very interesting season, for a lot of reasons.


*Andrew D. Weyman directs his first of an impressive (especially for a revolving-door show like this) forty-five episodes, and guess what he got his start with?  Search for Tomorrow in 1951!  (Followed by some other soaps before drifting over to sitcoms.)

Roseanne: Scenes from a Barbecue

Roseanne: Scenes from a Barbecue
ABC
May 7, 1991
Sitcom
DVD
B

Shelley Winters makes her first of ten appearances as Roseanne's beloved Nana Mary.  At 70, she was too young to plausibly be 38-year-old Barr's grandmother, let alone the mother of the (unseen in this episode) 63-year-old Estelle Parsons, but no matter.  She looks and acts enough like Roseanne, that when she says Roseanne will be her in 40 years, we believe it.*  Writers Myer & Lorre are a bit heavy-handed about how everyone in the family adores Nana, which keeps this from being a B+.  Still, it's a solid third-season episode, without much plot but a lot of character interaction, from Nana assuring the black Mitchells she's not prejudiced, to the men's argument about how to BBQ.  The highlight is of course Bonnie surprising her friends with her beautiful voice for "You Really Got a Hold On Me" during the singalong.  (If I remember correctly, David Crosby would later show up as her referred to but not yet seen husband Duke, and we'd get a delicious duet.)

Kristopher Kent Hill returns as Lonnie.  James Pickens, Jr. and Adilah Barnes are back as Chuck and Anne-Marie, but I had to cut someone out of my excessive tags.  This is the only episode where we see Chuck, Jr., who's 16.


*Having read autobiographies by both women, I can say that Winters and Barr were quite a bit alike in real life as well, from being Jewish and "loud-mouthed" to having been pregnant as teenagers.  Their politics, at least at the time, were also similar.  But, yes, the physical resemblance is striking.