Roseanne: Honor Thy Mother

Roseanne: Honor Thy Mother
ABC
October 8, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

In this story that Bob Nickman co-wrote with someone who didn't work on any other of my shows, we don't find out what the title means until far into the episode.  Dan is a funk, wondering about the meaning of life since the family became rich.  He realizes he wants to help his mom by taking her to a good psychiatric hospital in Santa Monica.  Meanwhile, Roseanne and Jackie plan a trip to a spa, which would become a plot in a couple episodes, but first we'll see an episode that builds on the tag, which includes the back of a head and voice of a character that (uncredited here, to keep it mysterious) would be played by Jim "Ernest" Varney.

Staff writer Allan Stephan here plays Allan.  This is James Pickens, Jr.'s last appearance as Chuck and I'm glad he's given something meaty to work with for a change, in the scene where he tries to talk to Dan.  Note that this is at least Leon's third time playing poker with Dan.  And sweet David's complaint about Darlene is that she won't let him spoil her.

Roseanne: Construction Junction

Chuck and Bob

Roseanne: Construction Junction
ABC
February 13, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

In this Daniel Palladino story, Bob (John McConnell) and Chuck (James Pickens, Jr, and no, I don't think the coincidence of names is a Soap reference) come by and tell Dan about an opportunity to make a bid for a construction job on a new prison in Lanford.  No one seems to feel particularly concerned about the idea of a local prison, which I suppose tells you something about Lanford and its economy.  (No NIMBY for these folks.)  Meanwhile, David (who seems to not be attending college, just working as a busboy) sets Jackie up on the Internet and she quickly becomes addicted.  Yeah, who knew in '96 that that would just be normal life a score of years later?  And, yes, note the irony in Roseanne's throwaway line about the lottery, not her first in the series.

Tiny Tim appears in the not-on-DVD tag, playing the ukelele with David.

Roseanne: My Name Is Bev

Roseanne: My Name Is Bev
ABC
January 11, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
C

Bob Nickman's first of four Roseanne scripts is probably the worst of Season Seven.  That's not to say that a funny and/or touching episode about a long-term character recognizing her alcoholism couldn't be made, but this isn't it.  The jokes misfire (OK, the "herpes" and Michael Jackson ones are good if tasteless), and I'm not really clear what the point is of showing that Bev is using her disease to make other people guilty.  And what's with Roseanne's gratuitous homophobic remark to Leon at AA?  Not terrible, but we can see the shark licking its lips.  Note that Roseanne is three months pregnant now, although it was summer when she realized she was going to have a baby.

John McConnell again plays Dan's friend Bob.  Romy Rosemont, who's Margaret D. here, would be a nameless Woman on Ellen.

Roseanne: White Men Can't Kiss

Roseanne: White Men Can't Kiss
ABC
November 16, 1994
Sitcom
DVD
B

This Abbott & Ulin story has Roseanne and Dan questioning their own prejudices when D.J. doesn't want to kiss a black girl in a school play.  This could've been heavy-handed, including how Chuck is used in his one scene, but I like that nothing is neatly resolved.  Interestingly, Mark, Becky, David, and Darlene are all absent from this episode, and we get a subplot about the developing friendship between Bev and Fred.  Note that Jackie and Fred's baby is named Andy.

Michael Traeger plays Dan's poker buddy Marvin again after three years, while John McConnell is Bob again.  This is the 400th show I've reviewed from the '90s, but the second half of the decade won't be as fruitful for my collection.

Roseanne: Homecoming

Roseanne: Homecoming
ABC
November 16, 1993
Sitcom
DVD
B

Sid Youngers wrote this story that introduces Becky #2, Sarah Chalke, who's not as good as Becky #1 but not bad here.  (And the tag lampshades the recasting, as the family watches Bewitched and discusses the Darrins.)  Dan has a 25-year reunion for his football teammates, so Mark, Becky, and Darlene come home.  (But not David, who's supposedly in Michigan, although Darlene confesses the truth to Becky.)  Mark and Becky are fighting, but Roseanne surprises and sickens herself by taking his side.  She invites M & B to move in till they're on their feet, which would take awhile.

Note that Pickens returns as Chuck, although I recall Chuck and Dan having a fight and not making up on Chuck's last appearance.  Presumably they reconciled after Jackie bought the house they'd invested time and money in.  Also, I want to note that so far the writers are handling D.J.'s awkward years better than Who's the Boss? did with Jonathan, who rarely got a say-a-line-and-then-exit line as funny as "Haven't you ever heard of puberty?"

Roseanne: Glengarry, Glen Rosey

Roseanne: Glengarry, Glen Rosey
ABC
May 4, 1993
Sitcom
DVD
B

A Dukane & Moss story was turned into a teleplay by Lois Bromfield (her first of five, although she had acted on the show earlier) and Scott Burton (who has no other credits).  Roger continues to exercise his charm, but we learn about his sleaziness when he, in order, hits on Jackie, insults Dan when Dan has doubts about the house-renovation business, borrows money from Nancy (who hopes to have him get her pregnant), and skips town.  Jackie comes to the rescue at least as far as Dan's investment is concerned, by buying the little house that Dan and Chuck worked on.

Director Philip Charles MacKenzie would do twenty-one more Roseanne episodes, but we had seen him as an actor on Three's Company in 1980 and Bosom Buddies in '81.  House Buyer Christopher Darga would be an Officer on Ellen.  And, yes, that's Chris Farley in an uncredited role as the Man in Clothing Store.

Roseanne: Promises, Promises

Roseanne: Promises, Promises
ABC
April 6, 1993
Sitcom
DVD
A-

Mike Gandolfi wrote this hilarious yet poignant episode.  It starts with another poker game in the kitchen, this time with two new players: David, and Chuck's friend Roger (Tim Curry in his first of two cameos).  Nancy comes in and Roger flirts outrageously with her, which she enjoys.  Chuck drops hints when Nancy's out of the room that she's a lesbian, but Dan doesn't want to discuss it in front of "the kid," till David announces it himself.  Nonetheless, Nancy does go out with Roger, whom Roseanne had hoped to fix up with her sister.  Jackie is understandably nervous about dating again, although she does show up in that red zippered dress.  In another of my all-time favorite lines, she says, "Now I'm losing men to lesbians!'  Nancy explains her bisexuality as her being "a people person."

Meanwhile, Prom Night is coming up and Roseanne makes Darlene prom-ise to go.  But Darlene has an ulterior motive, booking a motel room so she and David can lose their virginities together.  He's so nervous that he's impotent.  She's surprisingly sympathetic (and not just for her), but it doesn't help.  In the tag, they're back in the motel room, now darkened, and we hear them declare them love.  She asks if they're going to have sex now and, after a pause, he says, "I think I just did."

Doug Fieger makes his third and last appearance as Nick.  Danielle Harris is listed on IMDB, but I didn't notice Molly, although Mara Hobel has a couple scenes as Charlotte.

Roseanne: War and Peace

Roseanne: War and Peace
ABC
January 12, 1993
Sitcom
DVD
A-

This Heline & Heisler conclusion of the two-parter again manages the tonal shifts with skill, as when Gilbert rocks it with her amazing delivery on some of the funniest lines.  But even a scene like Jackie being both grateful to and angry at Dan blends humor and drama.  We find out in this episode that Fisher has beaten Jackie before and they both hid that.  Jackie, despite loving Fisher, finds the courage to leave him.  The scene of Dan explaining his time in jail to DJ is an interesting contrast to the Soap scene, from about fifteen years earlier, of Jessica Tate explaining to her fifteen-year-old son why "Daddy" was in jail for killing cousin Peter.  (Or was it Corinne in jail at that point?)

I would've gone with another B+ but Dan's rendition of "Jailhouse Rock" in the tag brings this closer to perfection.

John "Juke" Logan, who was Man Who Takes Chair, in the first season here is the Prisoner with Harmonica, while Prisoner Alex Cole would be a Male Customer later this year.  Roseanne's 14-year-old son Jake Pentland has his second role on the show, as the Paper Boy.  And Jeremy Roberts, Jay in the previous episode, here has a nameless part.

Roseanne: Crime and Punishment

Roseanne: Crime and Punishment
ABC
January 5, 1993
Sitcom
DVD
B+

When the "lighter" thread is about DJ getting in trouble for taking Darlene & David's "sick" comic to school, then it's fair to say that, at roughly the midpoint of the series, we're heading into territory that few or no family sitcoms had ever explored before.  Dan goes to talk to DJ's principal, Cecil Alexander (Begley), thinking DJ has taken one of Dan's issues of Playboy and is at first relieved it's just a comic.  (Note that we find out in this episode that the girls' bathroom also connects to DJ's room, which I hadn't been clear on before.)

Meanwhile, Fisher is stressed about his unemployment and he (offscreen) "beats the crap out of Jackie."  Since viewers by now are very fond of Jackie, we're as upset as Roseanne, especially when Jackie tries to defend Fisher.  When Dan hears, he goes over and (again offscreen) apparently beats the crap out of Fisher.  Two policemen show up quickly to arrest him, although small town that this is, one of them is friends with Dan.  In a sight gag closing this first of two parts, Principal Alexander's car pulls up next to the police car.

Again, Roseanne pulls off very difficult tonal shifts, so that the episode made me laugh and cry, without feeling forced.  Even in this bleak time, there are still jokes, including Darlene mocking Becky's butt in absentia.

Wings Hauser and Mara Hobel return as Ty Tilden and his daughter Charlotte, but there's no sign of Molly.  Doug Fieger makes another appearance as Dan's poker buddy Nick (essentially the guy in the "DJ spot," who can have his back to the audience most of the scene).  Jeremy Roberts, who's Jay, would return.  Secretary Colleen Camp would be back in two other roles.  I don't have Brice Beckham in anything else, but I should point out that he plays one of the two teen guys Charlotte has a crush on and he's best known as Wesley on Mr. Belvedere.

Roseanne: Stand on Your Man

Roseanne: Stand on Your Man
ABC
November 17, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
B

In this Moss & Dukane story, Arnie returns and wants Nancy back, leading to perhaps my favorite exchanges on the series, as Roseanne explains that things have changed since he's been out of town.
ROSEANNE: Like Nancy's a lesbian and we got a new LensCrafters.
DAN: Whoa, whoa, whoa!  Come again?
ROSEANNE: Yes, Dan, glasses in less than an hour!

For most of the episode, it seems that Arnie mainly wants Nancy back because of the wound to his male pride, but then it turns out the aliens (Clinton Allmon and Jeff Heston again) wanted him to lure Nancy back as breeding stock.  Meanwhile, the Lanford Lunch Box opens for business but a creepy customer threatens Roseanne.  Dan feels protective of course, but she, Nancy, and Jackie take a self-defense class.  In another fourth-wall-breaking tag, "Michael" appears on the aliens' spaceship, and "Tom" asks if Michael has heard good things about his new show, i.e. The Jackie Thomas Show, which would debut on December 1st.

Aliens Clinton Allmon and Jeff Heston return.  Wings Hauser appears again as Ty Tilden.  Doug Fieger makes his first of three appearances as Nick, I'm guessing the new poker buddy.  First Customer Joe Keyes would be back a couple times.

Roseanne: Trick or Treat

Roseanne: Trick or Treat
ABC
October 30, 1990
Sitcom
DVD
B-

As before, the costumes outshine the writing, this time by Lorre & Abugov, on a Halloween episode, including Arnie as the ghost of Elvis.  The episode is more daring than the one in '89, with Dan uncomfortable with D.J. dressing as a witch, and then Roseanne dressing and passing as a man at the Lobo.  I just don't feel like things are as clever or funny as they could be, particularly in comparison to other Season Three episodes so far.  Note that when Crystal shows up, for the first time since Roseanne's pregnancy scare, she doesn't recognize Roseanne and even flirts with her a little.  This would all seem mild with the passage of time, including more daring episodes in later seasons.

Guy Boyd was Sgt. Lally on M*A*S*H and is Pat here.  Ken Kells makes his first of three Roseanne appearances, as a Monster, while Bob Telford is Bill for the first of two times.  Don Maxwell and Robert Miranda return as Willy and Andy respectively.   James Pickens, Jr. makes his first of nineteen appearances as Dan's friend Chuck Mitchell but isn't given much to do at this point.