Roseanne: Arsenic and Old Mom

Roseanne: Arsenic and Old Mom

ABC

May 13, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
D-

Time has not made this episode any less painful.  In fact, knowing that Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds would die so close together makes this collaboration even more of a waste.  It ties for my least favorite episode of the series, with the spa episode. 

Dan's mother Audrey (played here by Reynolds) is released from "the hospital," supposedly all well, as long as she takes her meds.  She doesn't and decides to kill Dan for institutionalizing her, twenty years ago!  The script is by Fisher and I can't help wishing that a more realistic, funnier, and sweeter story could've been submitted instead.  Why drag Goodman back, when his performance shows how little he wants to be doing this story?  And there's even a gratuitous joke about D.J. lusting after Princess Leia, just so Grandma can hit him for it, which is even less funny considering who wrote the joke.  This episode is to be avoided by all but the masochistic and/or completist.  (So of course it gets high ratings on IMDB.)

Heather Matarazzo makes her last appearance as Heather.  Staff writer Lawrence Broch plays the Doctor.  This is a rare episode without Laurie Metcalf.

Roseanne: A Second Chance

Roseanne: A Second Chance
ABC
February 18, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
B

Cynthia Mort wrote this story where Dan and Roseanne reconcile and Darlene goes into early labor, at seven months.  Lots of drama again, with some humor, and the performances by Goodman, Barr, and Gilbert keep this from getting too soapy.  Note that David is in Chicago but it's not explained why.  Did he take the graphic artist job after all, despite his in-laws winning the lottery?

Darlene's Doctor is played by Dann Florek, who was Principal Hiller before, as well as Mr. Woodruff on Ellen; he'd be back in this role on the following episode and get the last name Rudmen.

Roseanne: The War Room

Roseanne: The War Room
ABC
January 28, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Not much happens in this Bob Nickman story, where Roseanne has been lying in bed eating junk food for four days, out of depression, and the family tries to pull her out of it.  This is the episode where she and Jackie turn the diner over to Leon and Nancy.  Heather (Matarazzo again) returns and meets Roseanne.  Note that Roseanne makes a reference to Ellen DeGeneres being "Lebanese."

Roseanne: Mothers and Other Strangers

Mary's house is full of Shelley Winters memorabilia, a nice touch.

Roseanne: Mothers and Other Strangers
ABC
December 3, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Barr & Mort story has Roseanne wondering how Dan will adjust to the changes in her and in their home when he returns for Christmas.  Meanwhile, Bev visits Nana Mary's home and the two of them talk some things out, although Mary can't tell Bev who her father is.  While this episode doesn't exactly get things back on track, it's a hopeful sign, and it's only in retrospect that Roseanne's line to Jerry about "some crazy lady making all this up" is not just about Roseanne Barr but about Roseanne Conner.  Darlene, looking like she's maybe five months along, is again the voice of reason.  As for the other plot, this is Shelley Winters's last TV appearance, although she'd live for almost another decade, and it's a nice one to end up on, she and Parsons showing their acting chops, despite their sometimes cartoonish characters on this show.

Roseanne: Hoi Polloi Meets Hoiti Toiti

'90s Comedy Central viewers would get a kick out of the casting.

Roseanne: Hoi Polloi Meets Hoiti Toiti
ABC
November 12, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Leif Sandaas co-wrote (with someone with almost zero other credits) this not-bad-for-Season-Nine story where Astrid Wentworth (Mo Gaffney again) invites Roseanne and family to stay with the Wentworths at Martha's Vineyard.  The class contrast is a little weak, but stronger than anything we've seen so far this season, even if the ultimate message is that the rich (or at least this rich family anyway) are basically nice people who just need to loosen up.  (And that Roseanne Barr would end up supporting an uninhibited rich man for President is one of history's ironies.) 

Note that the teenage girl of the household thinks D.J. is a "bad boy" and tries to seduce him, but he's a scared virgin.  D.J. is now 15 and this won't be the last we'll hear of his "love life."  Also, since I had to omit Fishman from the overcrowded tags thrice in the past, this is actually his 200th episode.

Stella Butler, who previously was a sassy Jerry Springer Audience Member, here is sassy Nurse Stella.  This time Phil Leeds plays Grandmama Lily.  Iqbal Theba would reprise his role as Dr. Bakshi in the next episode and would be on Ellen the following year.  Stand-up comic Dana Gould, who's Chip here, would also soon appear on Ellen.  Cole Roberts is still baby Jerry, and the Hazen twins are still listed for Andy, but Andy's hair is darker now.

Roseanne: Call Waiting

Roseanne: Call Waiting
ABC
September 17, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

"What doesn't kill us is making us stronger...."  As Season Nine opens in this Ogier & Stephan story, five days have passed and Roseanne, who's staying at Jackie's, refuses to speak to Dan.  Darlene and David (who've been married eight days), and then Mark and D.J., come over to try to reconcile her with Dan.  But it takes imagining herself into Nick at Nite shows to make her realize that her relationship with Dan is better than most.  (The parodies/tributes are surprisingly good, especially the costumes.)  She goes home and she and Dan make up.  In a tag which would change the series even more, Jackie watches the lottery and realizes that she and Roseanne have picked the winning numbers.  Certainly a more upbeat cliffhanger than the last one.  Note that Asner appears briefly when Lou Grant reenters the room and says he hasn't been himself lately.  Marlo Thomas and Ted Bessell appear very briefly in a clip, but I don't have the room to tag them.

Roseanne: Fights & Stuff

Roseanne: Fights & Stuff
ABC
May 21, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

This Eric Gilliland story is a sad way to end a tumultuous season, but it is for the most part well-written, and well-acted by Barr and Goodman.  Dan comes home from the hospital and tries to follow a healthier diet, with Roseanne's support, but he's soon cheating.  (Crystal is referred to as having called about seeing him eat junk food in public, but I'm not sure if this is the very last mention of her.)  Roseanne and Dan get into a huge argument, one with long-standing grievances, all established on previous episodes.  (Roseanne's line about Dan having fixed dinner only eleven years ago is a deliberate echo of the pilot episode, "Life & Stuff," where he'd fixed it only three years earlier.)  The tag shows the house that they've trashed.

I do wonder if at this point plans for Season Nine had been formed, or if this devastation, surpassed in TV comedy only by the likes of Blackadder, was how the series itself was supposed to end.  Whether I'd prefer it to the ending of Season Nine is something I can't yet say, but the ninth season would certainly be even more of a roller-coaster ride.

As for the eighth season, it ranges from D to B+ and averages out to a B-, the grade that ten of the episodes earn.  That's perfectly respectable, but this show used to do be more than pretty good.  Whether I'll find Season Nine as bad as its reputation, or as bad as I recall, will be interesting to see.

And this is Roseanne Barr's 200th appearance on one my shows, thanks to Siskel & Ebert and Saturday Night Live.  Her eponymous series would soon catch up, as would some of the cast.

Roseanne: Heart & Soul

Roseanne: Heart & Soul
ABC
May 14, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

This Palladino & Walker story has Dan recovering in the hospital, and the family worried but hoping for the best.  Both Dan and Roseanne talk to God, separately, and they think of how they've been together so long.  (Roseanne says since she was 16, but also 25 years, the latter I think counting from her marriage at 18.)  There's also a good scene between Becky and Darlene.  (It was Chalke at the wedding but I'm glad it's Goranson for the more serious stuff.)  Later, the family reminisces, including oddly enough about Dan beating up Fisher.  Again, not a B+, since things feel a little too scripted, not natural, but definitely what would've been a nice penultimate episode for the series as a whole.

Roseanne: Springtime for David

Roseanne: Springtime for David
ABC
March 12, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Garland Testa's first of two Roseanne stories and David Forbes's last of four isn't bad for one of the less realistic episodes, and there are some funny moments in the Disney parody.  (This begins one week after the Disney World trip and then covers two weeks.)  However, I don't think it works entirely on its own terms.  I find it hard to believe that Darlene's mockery wouldn't make David give up on Edelweiss Gardens, but we're never shown or even told what her reaction is.  Also, I'd like to be given a sense that David's mindless conformity is making him unhappy.  To compare this to the ABC sitcoms of roughly twenty years earlier, we got to see Rerun, Horshack, Billy Tate, and Chrissy Snow disillusioned with their cults, but David is so passive that Roseanne deprogramming him just feels like another form of control.  Even Audrey's recent reclamation from Rapture by Ellen had more meaning.

Roseanne: Disney World War II

Roseanne: Disney World War II
ABC
February 27, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
C-

Not terribly much happens in this Allan-Stephan-written plug for ABC's then new owners' Florida theme park.  The characters are all stupid and/or needlessly rude and/or out of character, and that includes the random children who gather and applaud when Bev sings, rather than flee in terror.  But I guess it's nice to see what Disney World looked like in the mid-'90s.  And this would retroactively become the episode where Darlene gets pregnant, if I recall correctly, so there's timeline info at least. 

Ted and Joy Christino again play Tourists.  This time Bob Fuller plays the Bellhop.

Roseanne: We're Going to Disney World

Roseanne: We're Going to Disney World
ABC
February 20, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Matt Berry story, the first of two parts, isn't bad, and I like how the new switch in Beckys is handled in a voiceover, but there are some out of character moments, notably with Darlene, who not only does some weird dance in the kitchen but joins the family in laughing at Nipsey Russell on headphones.  Dan gets a nice settlement when he quits the City garage, and part of that money goes towards a trip to Disney World for the entire family (including Bev), although as the episode ends, we're still up on the plane.

Peggy Mannix, who was a Delivery Woman on Who's the Boss?, is a Woman on the Plane here.  Ted Christino, who was a Tourist on Roseanne in '93, is one here and in the following episode; Joy Christino, who's probably his wife, is a Tourist in both parts of this two-parter.  Bob Fuller's second role on the show is as the poor Airline Steward dealing with the family.  And John McConnell is Bob again.

Roseanne: Construction Junction

Chuck and Bob

Roseanne: Construction Junction
ABC
February 13, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

In this Daniel Palladino story, Bob (John McConnell) and Chuck (James Pickens, Jr, and no, I don't think the coincidence of names is a Soap reference) come by and tell Dan about an opportunity to make a bid for a construction job on a new prison in Lanford.  No one seems to feel particularly concerned about the idea of a local prison, which I suppose tells you something about Lanford and its economy.  (No NIMBY for these folks.)  Meanwhile, David (who seems to not be attending college, just working as a busboy) sets Jackie up on the Internet and she quickly becomes addicted.  Yeah, who knew in '96 that that would just be normal life a score of years later?  And, yes, note the irony in Roseanne's throwaway line about the lottery, not her first in the series.

Tiny Tim appears in the not-on-DVD tag, playing the ukelele with David.

Roseanne: Becky Howser, M.D.

Roseanne: Becky Howser, M.D.
ABC
January 16, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

I almost went with a B+ for this Sid Youngers story that finally again gives Glenn Quinn something more substantial to play than dumb!Mark.  Becky is feeling like her life is meaningless, especially since hearing about Darlene's job offer.  Roseanne encourages her to make some changes, but is unprepared for Becky making plans without consulting Mark.  He tells Roseanne off in two different scenes, and Quinn and Barr play well off each other, in a way that they haven't since his first season or two.  I also like the tie-in of "Becky being selfish" with her early seasons' persona.  Nobody is all right or all wrong here, a subtlety the series hasn't shown in awhile.  However, I didn't feel like the rest of the episode was quite on that level of quality.

Tony Rich, who had a nameless role on "The Fifties Show," is a Party Guest here.  Stan Freberg makes his third and final appearance as the luckless Mr. Parkin.

Roseanne: The Getaway, Almost

Roseanne: The Getaway, Almost
ABC
November 14. 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Cynthia Mort's story has Roseanne, Jackie, and baby Jerry heading to the outlet mall, and picking up a hitchhiking riot grrrl named Garland (played by a pre-Dharma & Greg Jenna Elfman).  Meanwhile, Dan hopes to have the house to himself but can't get rid of Mark.  As with the previous episode, the messages about sexism are a little heavy-handed, but I like Roseanne and Jackie's discussion of music.

Ritch Shydner, who would write the following Roseanne episode, has his middle Roseanne role, as the Toll Booth Operator, while staff writer Allan Stephan's first of four onscreen appearances on the show is technically offscreen, as the voice of the sexist Truck Driver that Roseanne picks a fight with.  And Ben Thomas, who had been Cop #2 in '93, is Second Cop here, and by this point was Roseanne's third husband (with a line here insulting the character's wife).

Roseanne: Halloween - The Final Chapter

And this is one of the saner moments.

Roseanne: Halloween - The Final Chapter
ABC
October 31, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
C-

Barr directed and co-wrote, with Lois Bromfield, this odd entry that might well be the Shark Jump, or at least the Putting on the Waterskis moment.  (It'll be easier to tell as the season progresses, or regresses.)  The title I believe has something to do with the fact that this was originally supposed to be the final season of the series, but it doesn't explain why Roseanne, after well over a year of pregnancy, gives birth to a baby boy (Cole Roberts in his first appearance), whom she names after the spirit of Jerry Garcia (Fred Asparagus, who'd played Del Moore on Who's the Boss?), after seeing the recently departed musician in a labor-induced hallucination.  Even before the hospital sequence, we get Ed McMahon and Sarah Chalke, as themselves (I think) mixed in with trick-or-treaters.  And a mini-clip-show of past Halloweens (which is why Gilbert and Goranson are tagged). 

Basically, the whole thing is a mess, not exactly redeemed by the tag where Roseanne fields staged-sounding questions from the audience.  (OK, I did laugh when a man who claims to be one of the writers asks what the hell the episode was.)  You know I've never been a big fan of the Halloween episodes, but they at least had some bearing on reality.  And contrast this episode with some touching and funny moments in the episode with the flashback to D.J.'s birth and you'll see what this series was starting to lose.  It's not all over, but the future doesn't look too bright from this point on out.

Jason Davis's middle Roseanne character is nameless, but he was possibly the lawyer kid.  Bobbie Bates makes her first of two nameless appearances on the show.  (And she was a dancer in Mame over twenty years earlier.)  Trippy Dancer Tera Hendrickson would be Barb on Ellen.