Roseanne: The War Room

Roseanne: The War Room
ABC
January 28, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Not much happens in this Bob Nickman story, where Roseanne has been lying in bed eating junk food for four days, out of depression, and the family tries to pull her out of it.  This is the episode where she and Jackie turn the diner over to Leon and Nancy.  Heather (Matarazzo again) returns and meets Roseanne.  Note that Roseanne makes a reference to Ellen DeGeneres being "Lebanese."

Roseanne: Roseambo

Roseanne: Roseambo
ABC
November 19, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
D+

Well, it's not the worst Roseanne episode, but it might be the furthest from the basic concept of the series.  Written by two people who didn't work on any other of my shows (or do much else according to IMDB), this has Roseanne and some of her family accompanying Dr. Bakshi (Iqbal Theba again) to Washington, D.C.  The train is hijacked by multi-ethnic misogynist terrorists from Monistat.  (Yes, a yeast infection joke, and Roseanne defeats one terrorist with a tampon.)  I know Barr would later claim that this episode was a metaphor for her dealings with men in Hollywood, but if she's making a feminist point, why are her mother and sister bigger ninnies than ever?  Not that Mark and D.J. come across much better of course.  (That even Sarah Chalke sat this one out tells you how little of a showcase it was for the rest of the cast.)  The episode almost works as an action-movie parody, but it's too muddled.  It's easily the strangest episode of the series where we're supposed to believe that these are real events in the lives of the Conner family, rather than some strange daydream.

Photographer Scott McKinley played a Party Guest earlier in the season.  Not only does this have Steven Seagal, Don King, and Mike Tyson as themselves, and a professional Hillary Clinton impersonator, but poor Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, whom we last saw as himself on Ellen, plays a terrorist named Louis.  Gary Halvorson had directed the "My Five Dads" episode of On the Television, but he was working with much better material then.  We'll see how he does with his seven remaining Roseanne directing gigs.

Roseanne: Hoi Polloi Meets Hoiti Toiti

'90s Comedy Central viewers would get a kick out of the casting.

Roseanne: Hoi Polloi Meets Hoiti Toiti
ABC
November 12, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Leif Sandaas co-wrote (with someone with almost zero other credits) this not-bad-for-Season-Nine story where Astrid Wentworth (Mo Gaffney again) invites Roseanne and family to stay with the Wentworths at Martha's Vineyard.  The class contrast is a little weak, but stronger than anything we've seen so far this season, even if the ultimate message is that the rich (or at least this rich family anyway) are basically nice people who just need to loosen up.  (And that Roseanne Barr would end up supporting an uninhibited rich man for President is one of history's ironies.) 

Note that the teenage girl of the household thinks D.J. is a "bad boy" and tries to seduce him, but he's a scared virgin.  D.J. is now 15 and this won't be the last we'll hear of his "love life."  Also, since I had to omit Fishman from the overcrowded tags thrice in the past, this is actually his 200th episode.

Stella Butler, who previously was a sassy Jerry Springer Audience Member, here is sassy Nurse Stella.  This time Phil Leeds plays Grandmama Lily.  Iqbal Theba would reprise his role as Dr. Bakshi in the next episode and would be on Ellen the following year.  Stand-up comic Dana Gould, who's Chip here, would also soon appear on Ellen.  Cole Roberts is still baby Jerry, and the Hazen twins are still listed for Andy, but Andy's hair is darker now.

Roseanne: Call Waiting

Roseanne: Call Waiting
ABC
September 17, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

"What doesn't kill us is making us stronger...."  As Season Nine opens in this Ogier & Stephan story, five days have passed and Roseanne, who's staying at Jackie's, refuses to speak to Dan.  Darlene and David (who've been married eight days), and then Mark and D.J., come over to try to reconcile her with Dan.  But it takes imagining herself into Nick at Nite shows to make her realize that her relationship with Dan is better than most.  (The parodies/tributes are surprisingly good, especially the costumes.)  She goes home and she and Dan make up.  In a tag which would change the series even more, Jackie watches the lottery and realizes that she and Roseanne have picked the winning numbers.  Certainly a more upbeat cliffhanger than the last one.  Note that Asner appears briefly when Lou Grant reenters the room and says he hasn't been himself lately.  Marlo Thomas and Ted Bessell appear very briefly in a clip, but I don't have the room to tag them.

Roseanne: Fights & Stuff

Roseanne: Fights & Stuff
ABC
May 21, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

This Eric Gilliland story is a sad way to end a tumultuous season, but it is for the most part well-written, and well-acted by Barr and Goodman.  Dan comes home from the hospital and tries to follow a healthier diet, with Roseanne's support, but he's soon cheating.  (Crystal is referred to as having called about seeing him eat junk food in public, but I'm not sure if this is the very last mention of her.)  Roseanne and Dan get into a huge argument, one with long-standing grievances, all established on previous episodes.  (Roseanne's line about Dan having fixed dinner only eleven years ago is a deliberate echo of the pilot episode, "Life & Stuff," where he'd fixed it only three years earlier.)  The tag shows the house that they've trashed.

I do wonder if at this point plans for Season Nine had been formed, or if this devastation, surpassed in TV comedy only by the likes of Blackadder, was how the series itself was supposed to end.  Whether I'd prefer it to the ending of Season Nine is something I can't yet say, but the ninth season would certainly be even more of a roller-coaster ride.

As for the eighth season, it ranges from D to B+ and averages out to a B-, the grade that ten of the episodes earn.  That's perfectly respectable, but this show used to do be more than pretty good.  Whether I'll find Season Nine as bad as its reputation, or as bad as I recall, will be interesting to see.

And this is Roseanne Barr's 200th appearance on one my shows, thanks to Siskel & Ebert and Saturday Night Live.  Her eponymous series would soon catch up, as would some of the cast.

Roseanne: Disney World War II

Roseanne: Disney World War II
ABC
February 27, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
C-

Not terribly much happens in this Allan-Stephan-written plug for ABC's then new owners' Florida theme park.  The characters are all stupid and/or needlessly rude and/or out of character, and that includes the random children who gather and applaud when Bev sings, rather than flee in terror.  But I guess it's nice to see what Disney World looked like in the mid-'90s.  And this would retroactively become the episode where Darlene gets pregnant, if I recall correctly, so there's timeline info at least. 

Ted and Joy Christino again play Tourists.  This time Bob Fuller plays the Bellhop.

Roseanne: We're Going to Disney World

Roseanne: We're Going to Disney World
ABC
February 20, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Matt Berry story, the first of two parts, isn't bad, and I like how the new switch in Beckys is handled in a voiceover, but there are some out of character moments, notably with Darlene, who not only does some weird dance in the kitchen but joins the family in laughing at Nipsey Russell on headphones.  Dan gets a nice settlement when he quits the City garage, and part of that money goes towards a trip to Disney World for the entire family (including Bev), although as the episode ends, we're still up on the plane.

Peggy Mannix, who was a Delivery Woman on Who's the Boss?, is a Woman on the Plane here.  Ted Christino, who was a Tourist on Roseanne in '93, is one here and in the following episode; Joy Christino, who's probably his wife, is a Tourist in both parts of this two-parter.  Bob Fuller's second role on the show is as the poor Airline Steward dealing with the family.  And John McConnell is Bob again.

Roseanne: Let Them Eat Junk

Roseanne: Let Them Eat Junk
ABC
September 26, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B-

In this Berry & Yeager teleplay, based on a story by Carrie Snow (her first of three for the series), Jackie is such an overprotective mother that she insults Roseanne's kids.  I was going to go with a C+, but I like the twist at the end that Jackie may be right (if over the top about expressing it), when we learn that Bev comforted Roseanne with food.  Meanwhile, Dan tries to change D.J.'s image of him but blunders until they discuss classic cartoons.  I'm omitting Martin Mull but adding the Hazen twins (despite their omission on IMDB) because Andy does some cute scenes.

Roseanne: Husbands and Wives

Roseanne: Husbands and Wives
ABC
March 22, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B

It feels like a lot of this season is about getting a little derailed and then getting back on track, as in this Kevin Abbott story which finally deals with the aftermath of Fred walking out on Jackie.  Roseanne and Dan try to get them back together, but both Fred and Jackie are reluctant.  Fred realizes he overreacted when he has to defend Jackie to her mother, but Jackie realizes she prefers being on her own.  They reconcile, for the moment.  Meanwhile, Darlene and D.J. fight like in the old days.

Roseanne: Single Married Female

Roseanne: Single Married Female
ABC
February 22, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Betsy Borns wrote this episode where both Dan and the story need Roseanne.  (Barr does appear as herself in the cute tag.)  Roseanne C. is visiting partially deaf Auntie Barbara (the one that Jackie had to call when her dad died).  Dan has to not only look after the kids (including babysitting nephew Andy), but he has to decide what to do when he catches Jackie with a male friend at the Lobo.  Jackie swears nothing is going on, but Dan is still worried.  After some advice from David (who, remember, not that long ago spied on Jimmy), Dan decides to tell Fred, who ends up leaving Jackie.

Fred would be in more episodes, but I get the feeling here and elsewhere that the writers really didn't know what to do with him once he and Jackie got married.  They were sweet together while dating, but maybe, as the episode's title suggests, a married Jackie felt like a contradiction in terms.  It's disappointing that it went this way.  Also, Borns further Flanderizes Mark as stupid, although obviously she's not the only culprit.  So, yeah, a C+.  Not the worst this year obviously, but below the quality of the series' middle years.

John McConnell again plays Dan's poker buddy Bob, who in this episode comes across as a poor man's Arnie, stupid and eager.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt makes his last appearance as D.J.'s friend George.  It's also the last appearance of Lords as Stacy Flagler, and she's only in the first scene anyway.

Roseanne: Sisters

Roseanne: Sisters
ABC
February 8, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B-

While there are still some cheap, unfunny jokes in this episode written by Michael Borkow, this is a definite improvement over the previous two episodes.  When Fred decides that D.J. is too weird to be visiting so much, Jackie pretends that Fred's opinion is hers, which causes a falling-out with Roseanne.  Meanwhile, Darlene has been lured home for her mother's birthday (which formerly was in October) by Dan claiming that Nana Mary died.  Becky and Darlene have an uneasy reconciliation, but when David tries to make peace, Darlene lies and says that she's much happier with Jimmy, especially in bed.  Darlene and Jackie confide in each other, and Darlene reveals that Jimmy dumped her.

Twins Garrett and Kent Hazen make their debut as baby Andy.