Roseanne: The Truth Be Told

Roseanne: The Truth Be Told
ABC
March 18, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
C+

This Broch & Winchell story is never anywhere near as sharply satirical as it thinks it is, but there are some pretty good moments.  Roseanne gets a chance to sell her life story to network TV-- ABX-- and to the Home Movie Channel (HMC).  Meanwhile, Bev and Leon tell embarrassing stories about the Conners to a reporter from the tabloids, and unless we think they're very drunk and/or stupid, we have to assume that they're passive-aggressively seeking to embarrass Roseanne.

Ruta Lee returns as Bev's girlfriend Joyce.  Bob Fuller makes his final Roseanne appearance as the Clothing Salesman, while this time Johnny Dark is Frank Andrews.  Goodman's voice is heard offscreen, presumably prerecorded.

Roseanne: Roseanne-Feld

More bad advice about girls from Mark

Roseanne: Roseanne-Feld
ABC
March 4, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
C+

This episode doesn't really go anywhere with its three main threads and, unlike the first season or two, this is not just slice-of-life stuff, albeit more plausible than much of this season.  In one thread, Mark and Jackie go to see wrestling and she's invited onstage to participate, while he wishes he could join in.  Meanwhile, D.J. and his still relatively new girlfriend Heather (Matarazzo again) finally kiss and then consider having sex, with condoms, but he decides he'd rather masturbate in his room (yes, of course offscreen) with his dad's old picture of Julie Newmar (pronounced with the accent on "Mar").  And Leon and Scott meet Bev's new girlfriend, Lanford chanteuse Joyce (sixty-one-year-old Ruta Lee, recognizable for, among many TV roles, Lisa on Mork & Mindy, and Mrs. Dawson and Marsha Whitewood on Three's Company), and the four of them have a great time hanging out.  Writers Whitley & Winchell apparently don't know, have forgotten, or don't care that both Leon and Bev were established as alcoholics (I think the previous season or two), and have them get drunk without their partners being concerned.  But the show tunes are nice.

Spice Williams, who was Mosquito Woman on Out of This World, is Cincinnati Patti here.

Roseanne: Mothers and Other Strangers

Mary's house is full of Shelley Winters memorabilia, a nice touch.

Roseanne: Mothers and Other Strangers
ABC
December 3, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Barr & Mort story has Roseanne wondering how Dan will adjust to the changes in her and in their home when he returns for Christmas.  Meanwhile, Bev visits Nana Mary's home and the two of them talk some things out, although Mary can't tell Bev who her father is.  While this episode doesn't exactly get things back on track, it's a hopeful sign, and it's only in retrospect that Roseanne's line to Jerry about "some crazy lady making all this up" is not just about Roseanne Barr but about Roseanne Conner.  Darlene, looking like she's maybe five months along, is again the voice of reason.  As for the other plot, this is Shelley Winters's last TV appearance, although she'd live for almost another decade, and it's a nice one to end up on, she and Parsons showing their acting chops, despite their sometimes cartoonish characters on this show.

Roseanne: Home Is Where the Afghan Is

Roseanne: Home Is Where the Afghan Is
ABC
November 26, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Not a great episode, but it's nice to have a semi-normal story, written by Lawrence Broch, with much of the cast.  (Dan's absence is emphasized, but we never learn why neither Becky is there.)  Roseanne has Thanksgiving catered but misses cooking, and she's adjusting to the new interior decorations.  Darlene is a nice reality check.  However, the thing of Bev drunkenly outing herself, after saying how awful it is that Scott and Leon want to adopt, is forced.  (I did keep an eye out for Gilbert's reactions though.)  The Prince turns out to have been educated in Texas, so that's equally implausible, if perhaps more comfortable for Varney to portray.

This time Bob Fuller plays a Caterer.  I'm omitting Cole Roberts and the Hazen twins from the overcrowded tags.

Roseanne: Out of the Past

Roseanne: Out of the Past
ABC
February 6, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
C+

When the highlight of the story, by Ogier & Costa, is poor Mark's wife, brother, and sister-in-law tricking him so he won't win Scrabble, that's not a good sign.  The two main plots are Roseanne and Jackie fighting over a childhood doll, and Dan and the guys, including Leon and Scott, discussing race and sexual orientation at a poker game.  This isn't nearly as terrible as the Thanksgiving episode of course, but Goodman looks physically uncomfortable delivering some of his lines.  (And he was fine in the "Fifties" episode because he could get into the stylized character.)  I might've gone with a C, but it's always nice to see Shelley Winters.

John McConnell plays Bob again.  David Tyree, who was Mose Powell earlier in the season, is the nameless Poker Player #6 here.  I'm omitting the Hazen twins and Cole Roberts due to the overcrowded tags, but the babies are featured prominently, more than D.J. actually.  And, as is traditional, I'm leaving out James Pickens, Jr.

Roseanne: December Bride

Roseanne: December Bride
ABC
December 12, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Roseanne throws a very tacky wedding for Leon and his never-heard-of-before boyfriend Scott (played by Mull's Fernwood co-star Fred Willard).  I guess I should be glad that the episode isn't as soap-boxy as some this season, but the humor does feel somewhat forced.  Contrast this one with the Christmas episode of two years before, where there was a reason for Dan and Roseanne to offend the neighborhood association with their tacky decorations, while here she's annoying one of the grooms and just comes across as spiteful and tactless.

Staff writer Allan Stephan has an uncredited role here.  June Lockhart, who a few months ago was one of the TV Moms on the clip show, here plays Leon's mother.  Mariel Hemingway makes a quick uncredited cameo, playing off of her previous appearance.  Milton Berle allegedly makes an uncredited appearance as a Transvestite at the Wedding, but I didn't see him.  (He's possibly in the tag, which is omitted on the DVD.)

Out of This World: The Box Is Missing

No, Nigra doesn't play the cube.

Out of This World: The Box Is Missing
Syndicated
May 7, 1988
Sitcom
VHS
C+

The box in question is the cube that Evie and her dad use to communicate, although Evie and Donna react as if Troy himself has been kidnapped.  The mystery is pretty predictable of course, but I would've gone with a B-, due to the exploration of space powers, if not for some unfunny slapstick.  (This is the 400th C+.)

Fred Willard plays Milton Wyler of the Marlowe Vice, that is, he's a Miami-Vice-influenced cop for the town of Marlowe where this is set.  John Roarke, who was in the "diet clinic" episode, makes his last appearance in the series as Phil the handyman.  (And it's sort of a D.C. Follies reunion, since he did voices on there, as did Alaskey.)  April Kelly, who was one of the better Mork & Mindy writers (she did twenty-three episodes) co-wrote this with someone who didn't work on any of my other shows.

D.C. Follies: Reagan Tries to Wipe Out National Debt with TV Home Shopping Show

D.C. Follies: Reagan Tries to Wipe Out National Debt with TV Home Shopping Show
Syndicated
December 8, 1987
Satire
VHS
B-

Although three more episodes aired before the year closed out, this episode focuses on everyone's New Year's resolutions, with Reagan's attempt to wipe out the national debt creating moments not unlike the Fred Willard 1979 movie Americathon.  Ed Asner is the live guest star, mistaken for Gorbachev.

D.C. Follies: Nixon Gives Fred Financial Advice...and He Loses His Shirt

D.C. Follies: Nixon Gives Fred Financial Advice...and He Loses His Shirt
Syndicated
November 3, 1987
Satire
VHS
C+

Just in case you thought we were done with the bizarre world of the Krofft Brothers, we now look at a show somewhat inspired by Spitting Image, the British puppet show that satirized politics and pop culture.  DCF isn't especially funny (and wasn't really at the time), but it's interesting in a time-capsule sort of way.  The premise is that Fred Willard, playing "Fred," owns the titular bar, which is a hang-out for politicians, sports figures, entertainers, etc.  The puppetry (design, movement, and voicework, including by Joe Alaskey, who could be seen at the time on Out of This World) are quite good, but the puppets aren't given very good material.

Bob Dolan Smith and E. Jeffrey Smith wrote this episode where, yes, Nixon gives Fred bad financial advice.  Robert Klein is the live-action guest, as Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker's new representative.  This is one of thirteen episodes Rick Locke directed.

The Perfect Woman

The Perfect Woman
ca. 1981
TV-Movie
VHS
C+

OK, so this is copyrighted as 1980 (I was remembering it as '79), listed as '81 on IMDB, but referred to as '78 elsewhere on the Internet.  I don't even know where it debuted, although it's entirely possible that it was a very early straight-to-video-and-or-cable release.  My copy is off of KDOC (Orange County, CA) around '89 or '90 (complete with ads of the time and place, including a Wally George "bimbo" video).  The budget is very low (check out the scene of the king and queen jogging where we see no scenery except a blue sky), the plot meandering, and the cast, well, somewhat recognizable, see below.  The film never crosses over into full-on camp but it's fairly enjoyable, especially if you like that sort of later-Carter-era, we-wanted-to-make-a-porno-but-instead-went-for-a-sci-fi-comedy feel.

King Kroger (Fred Willard, played with the insouciance of a man who knows that this is far from his most embarrassing role) reigns but doesn't really rule the planet of Zucco (sp?).  His counsel, who actually run the show, want him to get married so his "sissy" cousin won't inherit the throne.  Kroger spends most of his time watching Earth TV and he wants an Earth bride.  So his buddies/lackeys Emo (Barry Gordon, as nebbishy as usual) and Zig (Peter Kastner, who I think is best remembered for his cross-dressing '60s show, The Ugliest Girl in Town) are sent to Earth to find the title character.  They meet a confident but feminine woman named Julie (Joanne Nail, who doesn't seem to have ever done anything big, although she's not bad here) who fits the bill.  She comes back and marries the king but the royal couple soon start arguing.  It all ends happily when she after an unspecified interval tells the king she's pregnant.  Re the sexless porno, besides the low budget, there are many moments when sex or at least nudity could've been included (and for all I know were on the non-public-television version) but we never even get to see Julie's McGuffin of a birthmark.

Ronnie Schell is the Real Estate Agent.  Barbara Minkus, who's Mizo here, played Elaine on That Girl.  Of the women that Zig and Emo interview, Angela Aames was Girl #1 on Mork & Mindy in '80, while Donna Ponterotto would be Theresa Rossini on Who's the Boss? in '85.  And, yes, that's Rudy Vallee at roughly the age of 80 as Tock.

The Bob Newhart Show: Tobin's Back in Town

The Bob Newhart Show: Tobin's Back in Town
CBS
January 4, 1975
Sitcom
DVD
B

Michael Zinberg's first of four BNS stories has Ellen's ex, John Emil Tobin (35-year-old Fred Willard), trying to win her back, which makes Howard jealous.  There's some funny stuff here, including the leather outfits, but I'm starting to see why Howard and Ellen never actually got married.  He's just not mature enough for a serious relationship.

Russ Grieve previously was Spike Coolidge and this time is Leo the Private Detective.  Bonerz directed yet again.