Roseanne: Mothers and Other Strangers

Mary's house is full of Shelley Winters memorabilia, a nice touch.

Roseanne: Mothers and Other Strangers
ABC
December 3, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Barr & Mort story has Roseanne wondering how Dan will adjust to the changes in her and in their home when he returns for Christmas.  Meanwhile, Bev visits Nana Mary's home and the two of them talk some things out, although Mary can't tell Bev who her father is.  While this episode doesn't exactly get things back on track, it's a hopeful sign, and it's only in retrospect that Roseanne's line to Jerry about "some crazy lady making all this up" is not just about Roseanne Barr but about Roseanne Conner.  Darlene, looking like she's maybe five months along, is again the voice of reason.  As for the other plot, this is Shelley Winters's last TV appearance, although she'd live for almost another decade, and it's a nice one to end up on, she and Parsons showing their acting chops, despite their sometimes cartoonish characters on this show.

Roseanne: Home Is Where the Afghan Is

Roseanne: Home Is Where the Afghan Is
ABC
November 26, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Not a great episode, but it's nice to have a semi-normal story, written by Lawrence Broch, with much of the cast.  (Dan's absence is emphasized, but we never learn why neither Becky is there.)  Roseanne has Thanksgiving catered but misses cooking, and she's adjusting to the new interior decorations.  Darlene is a nice reality check.  However, the thing of Bev drunkenly outing herself, after saying how awful it is that Scott and Leon want to adopt, is forced.  (I did keep an eye out for Gilbert's reactions though.)  The Prince turns out to have been educated in Texas, so that's equally implausible, if perhaps more comfortable for Varney to portray.

This time Bob Fuller plays a Caterer.  I'm omitting Cole Roberts and the Hazen twins from the overcrowded tags.

Roseanne: The Wedding

Roseanne: The Wedding
ABC
May 7, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

In this Kaplan and Broch story (with the same title as the one from five years earlier about Crystal & Ed's wedding), David and Darlene get married, but it's at least as much about their family relationships.  David wishes his parents could be there, but Mark tells him that the Conners are their real parents now (both Mark and David's), because they care for them more than their biological parents ever did.  Darlene has heart-to-heart talks with both Dan and Roseanne, and Goodman's performance is particularly moving, made all the more so by how the episode ends and what Roseanne (Barr and Conner) would do with it later.  The outdoor wedding goes well, despite some snags, but Dan suffers a heart attack during the reception.  Roseanne calls 911, and the fragile "reality" of the series tears further apart.  But we don't know that at this point of course.

Minister Kymberly Newberry was a Dignified Woman on Ellen in '94.  I'm omitting the Hazen Twins and Cole Roberts from the overcrowded tags, but the babies do attend, with Jackie insisting that Andy be ring-bearer.  (One reason this isn't a B+, a little less crazy!Jackie would've helped.)  I'm also omitting Sandra Bernhard, Martin Mull, and Fred Willard as the adults who have the least to do this episode, but it is interesting that of all of Roseanne's friends, it's the gays who attend her daughter's wedding.

Roseanne: Out of the Past

Roseanne: Out of the Past
ABC
February 6, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
C+

When the highlight of the story, by Ogier & Costa, is poor Mark's wife, brother, and sister-in-law tricking him so he won't win Scrabble, that's not a good sign.  The two main plots are Roseanne and Jackie fighting over a childhood doll, and Dan and the guys, including Leon and Scott, discussing race and sexual orientation at a poker game.  This isn't nearly as terrible as the Thanksgiving episode of course, but Goodman looks physically uncomfortable delivering some of his lines.  (And he was fine in the "Fifties" episode because he could get into the stylized character.)  I might've gone with a C, but it's always nice to see Shelley Winters.

John McConnell plays Bob again.  David Tyree, who was Mose Powell earlier in the season, is the nameless Poker Player #6 here.  I'm omitting the Hazen twins and Cole Roberts due to the overcrowded tags, but the babies are featured prominently, more than D.J. actually.  And, as is traditional, I'm leaving out James Pickens, Jr.

Roseanne: Thanksgiving 1994

Roseanne: Thanksgiving 1994
ABC
November 23, 1994
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Bromfield & Trogdon story is a little heavy-handed, although Goodman's acting, and to a lesser degree Metcalf's, raises it from a C+ to a B-.  Roseanne has amniocentesis and finds out when she calls the clinic that there are complications, but it's unclear what the problem is.  She had considered abortion, and in the opening scene is shown to be pro-choice enough to troll a bunch of protesters, but now she's not sure she could go through with it.  Nana Mary, who's brought along her new husband, a World War I vet, reveals that she had two abortions when she was young, but we don't learn anything about the circumstances.  Meanwhile, Mark repeatedly questions David's masculinity, even when he needs David to teach him about football, and the final payoff is a shot of Quinn's ass, the crack pixillated.  Darlene again doesn't come home for Thanksgiving, but it's unclear if she's spending it with Jimmy or is otherwise occupied.

Protester David Wells would be a Mousy Man on Ellen the next year.

Roseanne: Altar Egos

Roseanne: Altar Egos
ABC
May 24, 1994
Sitcom
DVD
B

This Ulin & Gilliland story is a fine season-closer.  Fred is convinced that Jackie has a crush on Dan and so he drunkenly punches Dan.  Dan believes it himself, not without cause.  (There are hints throughout the series, especially the episode where she played mom while Roseanne was away, and Barr and Metcalf have both confessed multiple times to crushes on Goodman.)  Roseanne resolves things as if she's still taking One Life to Live to heart.  It's fun to see the four adults play off each other, in pairs and threes.  The "kids" have less to do, although Darlene does get the outrageous last line, which is actually what I remember most about this episode.  (But then I'd forgotten about Fred shaving in the previous episode.  At least Adam Green would rock the goatee awhile longer.)  This is the first of twenty-two episodes that Mark K. Samuels would direct, but mostly late in the series.  And I'm again omitting Michael Fishman from the overcrowded credits.

Roseanne in Season Six ranges from C+ to B+, but two-thirds are B's and the average is B.  The addition of Sarah Chalke and the reduction of Sarah Gilbert's role hasn't so far significantly harmed the series.  As this episode shows, adding Michael O'Keefe provides a middle-aged set of two couples, sometimes in contrast to the two young couples.  Even little D.J. is growing up.  We are, however, about to enter the last third of the series and the beginning of the decline.  I recall it as gentle at first, but Season Seven will have some red flags.

Roseanne: Thanksgiving 1993

Roseanne: Thanksgiving 1993
ABC
November 23, 1993
Sitcom
DVD
B

In this Borkow & Gandolfi story, everyone comes home for the holiday, except Darlene, who pretends she's visiting David in Michigan.  Nana Mary is pretending dementia to upset Bev, but then she coherently tells everyone that Bev was pregnant with Roseanne when she got married.  (The real wedding date was in June 1952, while Roseanne was born in November 1952.)  Meanwhile, Mark and Dan clash, to the point of fisticuffs, because Dan resents Mark not being able to support Becky.  And Roseanne invites over Fred, who does some of his great eyebrow reactions, as when Mary hits on him.

I'm reluctantly omitting Michael Fishman from the overcrowded tags.

Roseanne: It's No Place Like Home for the Holidays

Roseanne: It's No Place Like Home for the Holidays
ABC
December 15, 1992
Sitcom
DVD
B

Eric Gilliland wrote this Christmas story with an ironic title.  A snowstorm hits and so people are separated for the holiday:

• Mark and Becky are unseen in Wisconsin;
• Dan and DJ are at home with Nancy and Marla, and Dan is uncomfortable about their mistletoe time (unseen, we're not up to the "lesbian kiss" days of '90s TV that Roseanne among others would be part of) and plans for a baby, with a great visual gag about a turkey baster;
• Roseanne, Jackie, Bev, and Nana Mary are at the Lunch Box;
• and Darlene is over at David's as he babysits his little sisters.

(This is the only episode where we see Lisa and Nicki and I recall them as being retconned out.)  D & D have another fight about her not being ready for sex, but she chooses staying overnight at his place "rather than death."  Then his mother, Barbara (played by Sally Kirkland, who was a nude model on Three's Company fifteen years earlier), comes home and slaps him for suspecting she's lying and cheating on his (unseen) father.  She also calls Darlene "Conner trash" and "a slut like her sister."  David apologizes and Darlene says she didn't mind "slut" but "like her sister" hurt.  And she gives him a sweet, long hug.  When she gets home, she gives Roseanne a kiss on the cheek, probably for being better than David's mother.

Roseanne: Thanksgiving 1991

Four generations of women

Roseanne: Thanksgiving 1991
ABC
November 26, 1991
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Brad Isaacs wrote this script, which feels a little forced, especially in regards to Darlene hiding out in her room but still being visited, and Beverly's announcement of and reaction to her husband's affair of two years.  Also, Mark is absent, despite Roseanne's promise, as he has other plans.  Still, it's interesting to see Winters and Parsons play off each other as mother and daughter, and for that matter Barr and Gilbert in the tag.  (And, yes, the great-grandmother and great-granddaughter scene with Darlene and Nana Mary).  I also like how Dan plays "big brother" to Lonnie (still Kristopher Kent Hill).  Note that Dan's father is absent as well as Roseanne's.

Roseanne: Scenes from a Barbecue

Roseanne: Scenes from a Barbecue
ABC
May 7, 1991
Sitcom
DVD
B

Shelley Winters makes her first of ten appearances as Roseanne's beloved Nana Mary.  At 70, she was too young to plausibly be 38-year-old Barr's grandmother, let alone the mother of the (unseen in this episode) 63-year-old Estelle Parsons, but no matter.  She looks and acts enough like Roseanne, that when she says Roseanne will be her in 40 years, we believe it.*  Writers Myer & Lorre are a bit heavy-handed about how everyone in the family adores Nana, which keeps this from being a B+.  Still, it's a solid third-season episode, without much plot but a lot of character interaction, from Nana assuring the black Mitchells she's not prejudiced, to the men's argument about how to BBQ.  The highlight is of course Bonnie surprising her friends with her beautiful voice for "You Really Got a Hold On Me" during the singalong.  (If I remember correctly, David Crosby would later show up as her referred to but not yet seen husband Duke, and we'd get a delicious duet.)

Kristopher Kent Hill returns as Lonnie.  James Pickens, Jr. and Adilah Barnes are back as Chuck and Anne-Marie, but I had to cut someone out of my excessive tags.  This is the only episode where we see Chuck, Jr., who's 16.


*Having read autobiographies by both women, I can say that Winters and Barr were quite a bit alike in real life as well, from being Jewish and "loud-mouthed" to having been pregnant as teenagers.  Their politics, at least at the time, were also similar.  But, yes, the physical resemblance is striking.

Alice in Wonderland, Part 1

Alice in Wonderland, Part 1
CBS
December 9, 1985
TV-Movie, Children's, Fantasy, Musical
VHS
D+


OK, let's just start with the mind-blowing cast:

• Sheila Allen (producer Irwin Allen's wife) as Alice's Mother
• Scott Baio as Pat the Pig
• Red Buttons as the White Rabbit
• Sid Caesar as the Gryphon
• Imogene Coca as the Cook
• Sammy Davis, Jr. as the Caterpillar (he played the Cheshire Cat in the 1966 TV version, which I haven't seen)
• Sherman Hemsley as the Mouse
• Arte Johnson as the Dormouse
• Roddy McDowall as the March Hare
• Jayne Meadows as the Queen of Hearts
• Robert Morley as the King of Hearts
• Anthony Newley as the Mad Hatter
• Donald O'Connor as the Lory Bird
• Martha Raye as the Duchess
• Telly Savalas as the Cheshire Cat
• Ringo Starr as the Mock Turtle
• Shelley Winters as the Dodo Bird

On the one hand, it's cool to see such an eclectic array, but on the other, I spent most of the time feeling sorry for them, especially (if I had to pick just one) Shelley Winters; here's an acclaimed actress and you dress her up as a bird and just have her screech and do a silly dance while George Jefferson sings?  (Her Match Game appearance is classy in comparison.)  As for ten-year-old Natalie Gregory (probably seven at the time of filming) as Alice, she's OK.  Her wig looks really fake, but that's not her fault.  She's very American, but then so is most of the cast.

The writer is Paul Zindel, who may know how to write a quirky Young Adult novel, but did also contribute the screenplay for 1974's Mame.  As for the director, Harry Harris, he didn't work on any of my other shows, and the closest he ever got to an intentional comedy was Eight is Enough.  The worst part though is that the songs are by Steve Allen and they're almost uniformly dreadful.  In fact, both Zindel and S. Allen make the mistake of substituting their own material too much for Carroll's and there are no "Very Merry Unbirthday" moments here.  The absolute nadir is the Tea Party, where I was wincing the whole time.  The scenes with the Queen of Hearts are second worst, mostly but not entirely due to Meadows.

I thought maybe D+ was too harsh, and I did consider a C-, but the other complaint I have is that not only don't Harris, Zindel, Allen, and Allen seem to understand Lewis Carroll, but the program isn't even consistent within itself.  The relatively nice character of the Cheshire Cat is given a depressing song, while the thoroughly unpleasant Mad Hatter is given a song about laughter.  And Alice is told that she needs to grow up, when as we all know, she's just about the maturest seven-year-old in literature.

Selma Archerd, who was the 2nd PTA Lady on The Brady Bunch, plays the Queen of Diamonds.  Douglas Maida, who was a Ball Player on Who's the Boss? a few weeks earlier, is a Courtier here, while Fish Footman Scotch Byerley would be Gary on WtB.  Frog Footman Robert Axelrod would contribute "various voices" for the American version of Noozles.  John Walter Davis, who's the Seven of Spades, would be Ted Graham on Roseanne.

My review of the book is here:  http://rereadingeverybookiown.blogspot.com/2012/02/alices-adventures-in-wonderland.html.  Part 1 ends on a cliffhanger with the Jabberwocky, and technically into the Looking-Glass portion of the saga, presumably to get the audience to tune in for Part 2 the next night.  I don't think I would've at 17, but I did tape the three-hour back-to-back version that aired on cable a few years later, and would sometimes watch it in a train-wreck kind of way.  (Part 2 is better though.)

Match Game 73: #1.18

Johnny Olson

Match Game 73: #1.18
CBS
July 25, 1973
Game Show
DVD
C+

Nothing too memorable here on Week 4, other than Dick Gautier's sports jacket, and Richard's crack about overlapping with Guiding Light if Shelley doesn't hurry up.  Oh, and the current champ is a man, for a change.