Ellen: The Mugging

Ellen: The Mugging
ABC
May 21, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

This episode written by David S. Rosenthal was filmed during Season One, but aired two years later, which is why it briefly includes Holly and Anita.  The focus is mostly on Ellen and Adam's friendship, and what happens when he witnesses his new "girlfriend" (a woman he technically dates for about four days) being mugged and is too cowardly to come forward, and then he makes Ellen pretend to be the witness.  There are some interesting character moments here, and while Adam's behavior is regrettable, he does indeed suffer for it.  I can't imagine this plot with Spence, since, while he could be as dishonest with women as Adam, he would never be as passive about witnessing a crime as Adam and would likely run down and catch the mugger, as he did with the thief in the first Matt episode.  (This somewhat resembles that episode, in that we see a police line-up.)

Dave Florek, who was Chris on Who's the Boss?, here plays an Officer.  And Greg Germann is again Ellen's weird neighbor Rick.

Counting the two Season-One-made episodes, Ellen in Season Three ranges from C to B+, averaging out to a B-, with twelve of the twenty-seven episodes receiving a B-.  The substitution of Spence for Adam (yes, they overlap, but not much) harms the show but not irrevocably.  Season Four would see more changes, but these would have less to do with the cast than with the behind-the-scenes struggle over whether, when, and how Ellen Morgan would come out.

Ellen: The Tape

Ellen: The Tape
ABC
May 14, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Confusingly, this is one of two Season One (These Friends of Mine era) episodes that popped up towards the end of Season Three, long after Anita (Maggie Wheeler) and Holly (Holly Fulger) left the series.  Anita's parents (TV vet Elinor Donahue and Who's the Boss's Earl Boen) are in town and through a somewhat predictable series of events, written by series creator David S. Rosenthal, Anita and her friends try to prevent her sex tape from falling into her parents' hands.  Meanwhile, Ellen is uncomfortable with the idea that her boyfriend may've talked to her on the phone while on the toilet.  (In a time when people didn't take cell phones, or landlines, everywhere.)  The episode contains four spit-takes, although most of these involve more than one person.  And, yes, it's weird to see Adam again, especially goateed.  (I watched the episode along with its TFoM cohorts and then again today.)  I can't see the main plot happening with Paige because she's presented as sluttier than any of Ellen's other friends, and it wouldn't surprise anyone if she made a sex tape.

Ellen: Hello, I Must Be Going

Don't go!!!

Ellen: Hello, I Must Be Going
ABC
October 18, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B+

This first of four Ellen stories by Lisa DeBenedictis and Daryl Rowland broke my heart then and now.  Adam gets a job as a photographer in London and will be gone for three years.  At first, he won't say goodbye to Ellen.  He does bid farewell to Joe and Paige, and, to my squeal of delight and thumbs up, he tells Spence he never liked him (remember, he's known Ellen for a dozen years and probably met her cousin long ago), because he's "rude, arrogant, pushy, and your hairline's receding faster than the beach at Malibu."  Then, at what he thinks is the last minute, Adam hugs Ellen goodbye and says he's in love with her.  It turns out his departure is delayed, three times, and it's very awkward with Ellen.  (Meanwhile, hilariously, Audrey is cheerfully and methodically dating a series of men to get over Adam.)  Ellen, who would have another important emotional exchange at an airport a year and a half later, goes to see him off and they talk out their feelings, while I awww all over the place.  The episode ends with a montage of them waiting together and then she's alone.

Except she's not of course, because she's still got all her friends and Spence, ugh.  Still, a lovely episode if you can ignore what comes later.  (Not a shark-jump though, because this is a series that kept reinventing itself.)

Noelle Hannibal is again an uncredited Customer.  Jamie Kennedy would return as new neighbor Tad, who here has a great random dance to no music, because why not?

Ellen: The Bridges of L.A. County

Ellen: The Bridges of L.A. County
ABC
October 4, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
C+

I almost went with a C or C-, because I didn't at all care about the Newman & Stark plot of Spence having a one-night stand with dumb blonde Karen Lewis (Christine Taylor, who gives more to the part than it deserves, but then earlier in the year she was such a good big-screen Marcia Brady that Maureen McCormick was impressed).  However, the scene of Ellen, Paige, and Audrey getting drunk on wine, playing with hair extensions, and complaining about men was genuinely funny.  I pouted when Adam's scene with Joe was over.  I'm really not looking forward to more of aggressive, opinionated Spence and I don't know why the producers thought he was an improvement over flawed but sweet Adam.

Although I didn't find the book group particularly funny, Paul Bates, Anthony Clark, Brian George, Bob Glouberman, and Kate Williamson would return as respectively Kenny Burke, Will Davies, Ranjit Sudar, the Book Club Pundit, and Mrs. Rodgers later in the year.

Ellen: The Shower Scene

Ellen: The Shower Scene
ABC
September 27, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B

Dava Savel's first of eight Ellen stories is a funny if sometimes implausible one.  (As Ellen and Spence acknowledge in their exchange about whether a scheme is something Lucy Ricardo would do.)  Paige has to throw a shower for her "perfect" sister Heather (Connie Britton, well-cast, in her first of three appearances that season), who's recently had twins.  She brings over Heather's birth videocassette, which Ellen accidentally tapes over with a thirtysomething episode.  Note that poor Adam is hardly in this episode, just a line or two, with not only Paige and Spence given lots to do, but Joe and Audrey featured more than Adam.

Nurse Judy Kain was Janet's friend Joan Ferguson on Three's Company and had a nameless role on Roseanne in '90.  Noelle Hannibal is once again an uncredited Customer.

Ellen: These Successful Friends of Mine

Ellen: These Successful Friends of Mine
ABC
September 20, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Tom Leopold's first of three Ellen stories (this one obviously playing on the series' original title) takes awhile to get going, but the scene of Ellen in the oddity museum somewhere on the road to Barstow is priceless.  (One of my best friends and I adopted "Fifty million years ago, dinosaurs ruled the earth.  In 1973, I opened this museum" as a catchphrase.)  Watching now, I wanted more of that quirky kind of humor and less of Paige and Spence bickering in order to establish their sexual tension.

Rick Hall, who had an unknown role on Roseanne in 1990, makes his first of two appearances as Contractor #1 (the other not till '97), while Mousy Man David Wells was a Protester on Roseanne.

Ellen: Shake, Rattle and Rubble

Ellen: Shake, Rattle and Rubble
ABC
September 13, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
C+

I'd forgotten that Ellen's cousin Spence (Jeremy Piven) shows up so early in the series' run, in fact overlapping with Adam.  I don't think it's just my preference for Adam over Spence that makes this Heisler & Heline Season Three Opener not quite work.  It tries to do too much-- including two earthquakes!-- and a lot of the jokes just don't hit.  The opening is deliberately awkward, with Ellen apologizing for the new credits sequence not being ready, and if I recall correctly this would turn into a running joke, possibly all the way into Season Four.  (Details are fuzzy, and for various reasons I was watching even less TV than I had in the '94-'95 season.)

Note that Paige is attracted to Spence (in the dark) when she hears he's a doctor, but it turns out he's been kicked out of his practice.  And Adam/Audrey are still going strong.  No word on Ellen's love life, and I believe this was the season where they stopped trying to pretend Ellen Morgan was straight but they weren't yet ready to have her come out.  As for Ellen's career, she will have to rebuild the bookstore after the quakes.

Noelle Hannibal is yet again an Uncredited Customer.  The Customer with lines is played by Ruth Manning, who has a ton of TV credits, including Nurse Engel and Harriet Hadley on Three's Company.  Reporter Rick Fitts had played villain Martin Jackson on Generations, but not on any episodes I have on tape; he would be a Doctor on Roseanne in '97.  This is the first of twenty-five Ellen episodes (I'm guessing all of Season Three) directed by Robby Benson, yes, that Robby Benson.

Ellen: Thirty Kilo Man, Part 2

Note that Dan and Ellen have exactly the same taste in clothes.

Ellen: Thirty Kilo Man, Part 2
ABC
May 17, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B

In this lesser but still fun second part, this time written by Maria Semple, Ellen finds out that Dan (William Ragsdale) is actually importing pizza supplies.  Her parents have a great little scene where they not only ship "Danellen" (Paige's term) as hard as I do, but they deal with "the Man," i.e. police, who turns out to be Jack (Patrick Warburton again).  Dan forgives Ellen for being suspicious and they enter three weeks of NRE (new relationship energy, although that term isn't used).  Paige resents Ellen blowing her off to be with Dan.  Meanwhile, Dan helps Adam see how attractive Audrey is and soon A/A is hotter than ever.  How this all works out, including the role Joe plays in it, is interesting to see. The final moments, where Ellen says she's going to be in a movie (1996's Mr. Wrong I assume) and Paige says she's going to be a Broadway star, is fourth-wall-breaking.  Ellen says Dan will be back in a week, but in fact two very significant years would pass before his return.

Noelle Hannibal is again an uncredited Customer, and Dean Fortunato is again a Nameless Man.

Ellen in Season Two ranges from C to B+, almost half of those as B-s, so it's not surprising that the average is B- like Season One, although a high B- this time.  This cast seems better defined than "These Friends of Mine," and when the show works, it works well.  This was at a time when I was watching less TV (I'd gone back to college after the divorce), but I still caught my Wednesday night funny ladies when I could.  I don't know if at the time I realized that Ellen was finding itself and Roseanne was slowly losing itself, but it seems obvious now.  I don't remember much about Season Three of Ellen specifically, except that I think the core cast was kept intact, for now....

Ellen: Thirty Kilo Man, Part 1

Previously on Ellen

Ellen: Thirty Kilo Man, Part 1
ABC
May 10, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B+

It's a shame Vicki S. Horwitz didn't work on any other of my shows, because her script is easily the best of the season (unless Part 2 tops it of course).  Dan (William Ragsdale) returns from Italy after six months and he's no longer delivering pizzas but is instead in the international import/export business.  They start seeing each other again and fall in love, but then she starts to suspect he's a drug smuggler.  Before that suspicion, Ellen is deliriously happy, and her female friends are happy for her that she's, one, in love, and two, had sex.  (Adam starts to regret moving out, as if feeling threatened that Dan may move in, and Joe is seldom happy anyway.)  Meanwhile, Audrey's cop boyfriend is jealous of Adam, which is of course Audrey's fault.

The episode is playful, from opening to closing credits (President Clinton gives Ellen a fancy VCR in the flashbacks, and both the main plot and the subplots are "to be continued"), sweet, romantic, and very funny.  Obviously, Ellen, even more than Roseanne's Jackie, can't be happy with a man for long (and not just because this character will eventually come out), since this is a show about singles.  But it is charming to see Ellen so giddy, and I was and am a hardcore Ellen/Dan shipper.  I don't remember what happens in Part 2, so it'll be interesting to see how this is resolved.

Patrick Warburton, who was Brent earlier in the year, is Jack here and in Part 2.  Noelle Hannibal makes another of her uncredited appearances as a Customer, while Dean Fortunato would again be a nameless Man on Part 2.  And Jerry Penacoli plays Paige's date Richard in a flashback (a man she's already forgotten, although Dan asks about him).  Note that Paige claims to have dated approximately 100 men.

Ellen: The Therapy Episode

Ellen: The Therapy Episode
ABC
May 3, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
C+

I'm not sure what to make of this Driscoll & Hester story where nearly dying on a ski-lift causes Ellen to try honesty with her parents, Paige to thrill-seek, and Adam to try to distribute his sperm before he dies.  Paxton Whitehead returns as Dr. Whitcomb, but this is far from the only "therapy episode."

Ellen: Three Strikes

Rockin' out to "Born to Be Wild"

Ellen: Three Strikes
ABC
March 29, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This story by two writers who didn't work on any other of my shows feels uneven, although it is nice to see more of Ellen's parents, as she's released to their custody after an animal-rights protest.  And we find out that Joe's father was a hunter, and Joe's mother made Joe wear a dress.  (When Ellen wears one, everyone reacts like she's in drag, which in a way she is.)

Clyde Kusatsu, who's Judge Mitchell Sung, played three different roles on M*A*S*H and was Kim Lee on Who's the Boss?  Cop Roger Eschbacher would later appear as Derek.

Ellen: $5,000

Ellen: $5,000
ABC
March 22, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B

Newman & Stark wrote this very funny episode where an IRS agent (Dann Florek, great here, at a point when he'd been on Roseanne the first of three times, as Darlene's Principal, before coming back as a doctor) encourages Ellen to spend her refund of the title amount, but she gives it to Helping Hand, only to find out that the IRS made a mistake.  Meanwhile, Joe is an illegal immigrant from Canada, and Adam is taking pictures of Paige as inanimate objects.

Ellen: Gladiators

Ellen: Gladiators
ABC
March 1, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
C

Not only didn't I care about Ellen's triangle with Nitro and Ice (Dan Clark and Lori Fetrick, who had both appeared on Who's the Boss? six years earlier), but I didn't care about Richard Day's subplots of Joe trying to be polite to customers, and Paige and Audrey getting in a car accident.  Note that Audrey gives Adam a big kiss, although she's supposed to be over him.  Customer #2, Raymond Forchion, would be Smitty the following year.  This is the first of two Ellen episodes directed by Trainor.

Ellen: The Sleep Clinic

An unsteady triangle

Ellen: The Sleep Clinic
ABC
February 22, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B

This might be the best episode of the season, although not quite a B+.  It's very funny, insightful, and even at times sexy (though a sexiness played for laughs).  In this Mark Driscoll story, both Ellen and Audrey are having erotic dreams about Adam, but Audrey has a crush on Adam and ends up seducing him, while Ellen ends up seeing a therapist, Dr. Whitcomb (Paxton Whitehead in his first of three appearances in the role).  Adam has Ellen pretend to be his girlfriend, after he regrets giving in to Audrey, and of course Ellen's visiting mother is thrilled that Ellen has finally found a man.  (Mrs. Morgan seems to like Adam a lot more than she likes Paige.)  Ellen and Adam do end up kissing (for the first time in twelve years), a light kiss to make Audrey happy and then a deeper kiss after Audrey leaves.  And yet, Adam and Ellen feel no sparks.  So I guess it's not a sailable ship.  But, yeah, it's fun watching Arye Gross get to make out so much.

Ellen: Guns 'N Ellen

Adam/Audrey is launched.

Ellen: Guns 'N Ellen
ABC
February 15, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B-

In this Newman & Stark story, when Ellen is robbed, Detective Gil Ryan (Eric Allan Kramer, who was Bobo on Roseanne in '89) teaches her and her friends self-defense.  Audrey, who's transitioning from negative to her more upbeat and memorable self, not only promotes guns but flirts a lot with Adam.

Ellen: Ballet Class

Ellen: Ballet Class
ABC
February 8, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B

Richard Day wrote this episode that turned out better than I expected.  Ellen decides to pursue her childhood dream of becoming a ballerina.  And Adam, who trained in ballet for six years, agrees to coach her.  She's taking a class from Peter (Patrick Bristow) from Helping Hands and hopes to get the lead.  Meanwhile, Joe sarcastically lets Ellen know when he's being sarcastic, her mother continues to pressure her about finding a man, and Paige's new boyfriend wears bad '70s fashions.  This all comes to a head in two scenes, one where Ellen's parents are delighted she's brought a man home, even though Peter is very, very obviously gay.  (Bristow is adorable in the role and I'm glad he became semi-recurring.)  The finale has Adam and Ellen dancing the leads (after the bitchy prima donna does herself an injury), and everyone cheers them, including Paige in a "vinyl cow dress" as Joe puts it.  I like that for once Ellen is allowed to triumph, without it being undercut.  (She's clumsy in the tag, but that's OK.)

Ballet Dancer Courtney Pakiz had previously been the Yoga Instructor.

Ellen: The Spa

Ellen: The Spa
ABC
January 25, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
C+

While it's nice to see Garry Shandling's Molly Cheek as Sylvia, I couldn't get into the main plot in Suzanne Martin's story, since I couldn't see why Ellen couldn't just leave the spa if she was that unhappy.  I did enjoy the subplot, with Adam nervously attempting to become friends with Joe, the two playing up the double meanings, like when the cable quits and Adam says this has never happened to him before.

Patrick Warburton, who plays Brent, would return in the role of Jack.  We hear that Joe and Stephanie recently broke up, but not why.

Ellen: The Apartment Hunt

Ellen: The Apartment Hunt
ABC
January 11, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Mark Driscoll wrote this story where Ellen has trouble saying no to Audrey, so she helps her look for an apartment, lets her move in when that apartment is destroyed in an earthquake, lets Audrey keep her (Ellen's) apartment when Ellen moves out, and lets her move into another apartment in the building when Ellen's new place is destroyed in a fire.  Meanwhile, Paige dates an anonymous juror (his face covered by a blue circle) whom it's hinted is on the O.J. Simpson jury, since there are references to a glove and a knife.  (Opening statements were on January 24, 1995, but the case had been big news for months.)

Kate Hodge makes her last appearance as Stephanie, who's been dating Joe three weeks now.  Ralph P. Martin, who plays Tony the landlord, will be known to Who's the Boss? viewers as Ernie the water man.

Ellen: Ellen's Improvement

Ellen: Ellen's Improvement
ABC
January 4, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B

Tracy Newman and Jonathan Stark's first of eleven stories for the series took a situation that we've seen on other sitcoms, e.g. Three's Company, in a different direction than I expected.  Ellen's plan to self-educate leads her to date a British UCLA professor, but he ends up embracing the world of pop culture, especially television.  (He even takes her to a taping of Full House.)  Meanwhile Joe and Stephanie (Kate Hodge)'s whirlwind romance continues, with her moving in after two weeks, and him moving out (and into the bookstore) soon after that.

Peter Kim, who was Po on M*A*S*H, appears here with his wife, named, yes, Kim Kim.

Ellen: The Christmas Show

Ellen: The Christmas Show
ABC
December 14, 1994
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Suzanne Martin wrote this story where Ellen is unable to break up with her clingy boyfriend and things drag on, even to their wedding day in the tag.

Dick Clark's voice is heard briefly in the New Year's Eve scene.  Cookie Man Jeffrey Allan Chandler had played Dwayne on Who's the Boss?  Sweet Old Woman Molly David was Woman in Coffee Shop on Roseanne, while Lucky Customer Jonathan Emerson would be a Yoga Instructor on Roseanne.  Kate Hodge makes her first of three appearances as Ellen's employee Stephanie, here in a comically tempestuous relationship with Joe.  And, yes, that's Joely Fisher's real-life mother providing the offscreen voice for Paige's mother.