Roseanne: Happy Birthday

The kids all grown up and Roseanne blonde.

Roseanne: Happy Birthday
ABC
May 8, 1990
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Roseanne's sister Geraldine co-wrote this episode with another woman, and neither of them worked on any other of my shows.  It's a bit slow-moving but would be important in retrospect, to the point that I winced at one part.*  Roseanne is turning 37 and as a birthday present Dan turns the basement into a writing space.  I recall David** as moving in there later, but maybe that's retconned.

Lori Tan Chinn, Elizabeth Franz, Debra Mooney, and Melora Walters return as Iris, Mrs. Wellman, and Debbie respectively.

Roseanne in its second season ranges from C to B+, with an average, like the first season, of a low B.  There are again missteps with Roseanne's workplace and otherwise, and some of the risks taken, such as the "musical" episode, are not well thought out.  Still it remains unlike any of its contemporaries.  I'm definitely curious to see where it goes in Season Three.


*SPOILER: Roseanne says she doesn't have time to write with work, Dan, and the kids, so he says, "Hey, I won't live forever."  Whether or not this line was meant to be ouchy at the time, it would be after the final episode.

**For the second time, D.J. is called David, this time by Darlene.  This makes her renaming of her future boyfriend even stranger, but we'll get to that.

Roseanne: Fathers and Daughters

Roseanne: Fathers and Daughters
ABC
May 1, 1990
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Roseanne regrets that she's closer to her mom and Jackie is closer to their dad, so she doesn't want the same pattern repeated with her own daughters.  It feels like more should happen with the Dan & Becky hanging-out and the Roseanne & Darlene hanging-out than everyone deciding things are fine as they are.  I mean, 22 minutes to come up with that?  But there are some nice moments along the way.

Lindsay Fisher makes her middle of three appearances as Becky's friend Dana Hudson, and Jimmy Meltrigger is referenced as Becky's ex-boyfriend, who dumped her for one of her other friends.  Gary is also referred to, as he was in the previous episode, but at least we've seen him lately.

Roseanne: April Fool's Day

Note that Dan and Roseanne
are wearing red, white, and blue.

Roseanne: April Fool's Day
ABC
April 10, 1990
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Steve Paymer story about Tax Day is a bit heavy-handed, but I do like the fourth-wall-breaking reactions to the sting of music whenever the word "audit" is mentioned.  Judy Kain, who was Janet's friend Joan Ferguson on Three's Company, here plays an unknown character.  (I mean, I think I spotted her waiting in line at the IRS office, but I'm not sure and IMDB doesn't know.)

Roseanne: Fender Bender

Roseanne: Fender Bender
ABC
March 20, 1990
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Although there are elements I like in this story by Penelope Spheeris*, such as Crystal standing up for Roseanne, and Jackie doing her "tough cop" thing, I just don't think it's that funny or realistic.  Roseanne's former employer, Mrs. Meg Wellman (Debra Mooney), hits Roseanne's car and everyone urges Roseanne to sue.  Debbie (Melora Walters) and Iris (Lori Tan Chinn) return, but Marsha is strangely absent from all the scenes at her beauty parlor.


*Yes, that Penelope Spheeris, a couple years before she directed Wayne's World.  She and her co-writer, Bill Gerber, didn't work on any of my other shows except I think as story editors on Roseanne.  

Roseanne: To Tell the Truth

Roseanne: To Tell the Truth
ABC
February 27, 1990
Sitcom
DVD
B

Jacobson & Vela wrote this second part as well.  Three weeks have passed and Roseanne and Jackie aren't speaking.  They reconcile when Gary (Brian Kerwin again) proposes to Jackie.  But the happily ever after is more complicated than that and, while Roseanne is eager to plan Jackie's wedding, Jackie and Gary realize that they've been rushing into things.  Gilbert has a good little scene where Darlene lies for her mother and gets caught.  Note that Roseanne implies, in front of her daughters, that she was not a virgin when she got married.  (And neither will they be, although, like her, they'll marry the men that they lost their virginities to.)  Also, the end credits have stills from Charles & Diana's wedding in 1981, I think meant to be ironic not only in regards to Roseanne's wedding plans, but to the idea of marital bliss, as Chuck and Di were known to be having problems by then.

Roseanne: All of Me

Roseanne: All of Me
ABC
February 20, 1990
Sitcom
DVD
B

In this Vela & Jacobson story, Roseanne interferes with Jackie's love life, this time Jackie's new boyfriend, Gary Hall (Brian Kerwin, who would return three times in the role).  I like that characters can be both wrong and right here, not just the two sisters (who are currently 33 and 36), but also Gary.  These are good people, but they make mistakes and have fears and insecurities.  I am a little worried because I know that Jackie will be Flanderized down the road, but at this point her neuroses are realistic.  This episode ends on a cliffhanger, with Jackie kicking Roseanne out of her apartment.

Roseanne: I'm Hungry

Roseanne: I'm Hungry
ABC
February 13, 1990
Sitcom
DVD
C+

In this Jacobson & Vela story, the ladies at Roseanne's beauty parlor pressure her to lose weight.  Therefore, Lori Tan Chinn, Elizabeth Franz, Debra Mooney, and Melora Walters return as Iris, Marsha, Mrs. Wellman, and Debbie respectively.  I was hoping Roseanne would resist the brainwashing, but oh well.  Note that we hear that she was thin when she was young, although later episodes will contradict this.

Roseanne: Hair

Marsha

Roseanne: Hair
ABC
February 6, 1990
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Vela & Jacobson story has some good moments but there's a central problem, one that it has in common with many episodes for the first two or three seasons.  Thanks to Crystal's recommendation, Roseanne gets a job sweeping up at a hair salon.  She likes the people but feels that the work itself is demeaning, even when she's promoted to "shampoo woman."  Dan for a change is insensitive, but he does redeem himself.  And I become more and more convinced that Sara Gilbert has a great comic delivery, beyond not only Lecy Goranson, but most actresses in early adolescence.  The thing is, as with the episodes set in the factory in the first season, I don't really care about Roseanne's job or coworkers.  I think it wouldn't be till she becomes a waitress working for Leon that the "work" side of Roseanne would come close to being as interesting as the "family" side.

Melora Walters returns as Debbie.  Debra Mooney makes her first appearance as Mrs. Wellman, yes, as in Roseanne's old workplace, while Elizabeth Frantz and Lori Tan Chinn debut as Marsha and Iris.

Roseanne: Born to Be Wild

Roseanne: Born to Be Wild
ABC
January 30, 1990
Sitcom
DVD
B

Steve Paymer's first of two Roseanne scripts has Dan and Roseanne's old buddy Ziggy (Jay O. Sanders in his first of two appearances) pay them a visit and make them reexamine their lives.  I don't really like Ziggy, but I don't think we're necessarily supposed to.  He's more of a catalyst, leading to a great scene towards the end, where Dan and Roseanne act out their adolescent courtship, although he's also doing Brando from The Wild One.  It's notable that, one, Jackie implies that she lost her virginity to Ziggy and, two, Darlene denies that she's anything like Roseanne.

Roseanne: An Officer and a Gentleman

Roseanne: An Officer and a Gentleman
ABC
January 23, 1990
Sitcom
DVD
B

Jacobson & Vela wrote this story where Roseanne goes to see her father in the hospital and Jackie helps out with Dan, the kids, and the house.  At first, she's in over her head, but she soon adapts and becomes "the perfect housewife," with a little Leave It to Beaver parody thrown in.  There were moments when I was uneasy, worrying that this was going to get too backlashy, with "poor single Jackie envying her sister's life," but it's more an exploration of possibilities.  Similarly, it is disquietening to see Jackie and Dan go beyond befriending each other, really for the first time, to admitting they had crushes on each other as teenagers.  And yet, I'm glad this episode takes some risks.  It resulted from a clash between Barr and producer Matt Williams, but I think as a story it had to happen.  Such later stories as Dan beating up Jackie's abusive boyfriend couldn't have taken place if this hadn't first.

Roseanne: One for the Road

Roseanne: One for the Road
ABC
January 9, 1990
Sitcom
DVD
B-

While Dan, Roseanne, Jackie, and D.J. are visiting  R & J's parents, Becky and her friend Dana Hudson (Lindsay Fisher, who would play this character twice more, despite Dana's mother forbidding her return) get drunk in the living room.  Something feels off about this episode, or maybe I'm getting tired of Becky being both a problem child and "the good girl," as if the writers didn't have a clear fix on her.  It's still a pretty good episode, and I like how Darlene is both sympathetic and teasing, but there were moments when I would've rather have seen what was going on at the grandparents'.

Dana's mother Karen is played by DeeDee Rescher, who was DeeDee the Waitress late in the Three's Company run.

Roseanne: No Talking

Roseanne: No Talking
ABC
December 12, 1989
Sitcom
DVD
B

Norma Safford Vela wrote this funny but emotionally raw episode where 14-year-old Becky gives Roseanne the silent treatment, driving her crazy.  In a way, everyone is at the top of their form, even Fishman doing a lot with D.J.'s main scene, but it is tough to watch Becky be so bratty.  And, yes, this is the beginning of more conflicts with Roseanne, some over much larger issues than Becky breaking a grounding.  Note that Rodbell's is mentioned but not seen.

Roseanne: Lobocop

Roseanne: Lobocop
ABC
December 5, 1989
Sitcom
DVD
B

Tom Arnold wrote this episode where Dan and Roseanne are both working too hard to have time for each other, especially in bed.  Roseanne has had her so far unseen fast food job for awhile now, and here she's also working nights at the Lobo Lounge, hence the title, sort of.  Roseanne confides in Jackie, who in turn talks to Dan.  So Dan goes down to the bar and flirts with Roseanne, both of them role-playing, and the scene ends with them running out to have sex in their car!

Robert Miranda makes his middle appearance of three as Dan's friend Andy.  Dabbs Greer, who's Joe, is probably best known as Reverend Alden on Little House on the Prairie, but as far as my shows go, he was the Minister on the Brady Bunch pilot and he would be a Minister on The Brady 500.  Richard Partlow was a roulette player on Three's Company and is Larry Clemmons here.  Mark Carlton makes his first of two appearances as Sgt. Wilcox, and it's probably an in-joke that he appeared in the movie RoboCop.

Roseanne: Brain-Dead Poets Society

Roseanne: Brain-Dead Poets Society
ABC
November 28, 1989
Sitcom
DVD
B

This is another Joss Whedon episode that shows that he developed his talent for writing female characters early.  Darlene reluctantly writes a poem and even more reluctantly shares it at Culture Night.  She's still jock!Darlene, but Darlene the Writer starts to emerge here, with Roseanne encouraging, almost forcing, that side.  Confusingly, Darlene is in the 7th grade and has recently turned 13, despite the earlier episode where she was already 13.  Lonnie isn't seen but Crystal reads his terrible but sweet poem about her.

Troy W. Slaten, who plays Martin, was David on Who's the Boss? four seasons earlier.

Roseanne: We Gather Together

Roseanne: We Gather Together
ABC
November 21, 1989
Sitcom
DVD
B

Danny Jacobson wrote this Thanksgiving episode, which juggles a lot of guest stars:

• Ned Beatty as Ed Conner gets more to do than most of the guest stars, from flirting with Crystal to arguing with Dan.
• Stephen Dorff makes his last appearance as Jimmy Meltrigger; they didn't really do much with his character, even less than they did with Chip.
• Luke Edwards makes his last appearance as Lonnie Anderson, with less to do than that; I can't remember if there's a Lonnie #3.
• J.J. Johnston, who's Jay Bryant here, had played a nameless man on The Bob Newhart Show and a Helicopter Pilot on M*A*S*H.
• Estelle Parsons as Roseanne's mother Beverly fights more with Jackie this time, especially about Jackie becoming a cop.
• John Randolph makes his last appearance as Roseanne's dad Al, the character soon killed off (I forget what season).
• Ann Wedgeworth, still looking good years after Three's Company, makes her only appearance as Dan's divorced mother Audrey, much later replaced by Debbie Reynolds!

I would've gone with a B-, but the various threads do come together in the end, and Goodman particularly impressed me, not just with Beatty, but with Barr.  (His "I've got a crush on you" shows why this character is so lovable.)  Also, replaying the Jackie & Beverly argument with just Dan's face during the closing credits is inspired, a fresh perspective on the scene.

Roseanne: Sweet Dreams

Roseanne: Sweet Dreams
ABC
November 7, 1989
Sitcom
DVD
C

It's hard to review this episode because it's not good and it's not so bad it's good, and it's not even bad in the way that much of Season Nine would be.  And yet, it is sort of fascinating and the production values, especially the sets, are top notch.  It's written by Danny Jacobson, who did admittedly co-write the last season of Soap, but his "Dear Mom and Dad" last season was great.  This one isn't funny, other than seeing  glimpses of Darlene As Now We Know Her (still a work in progress but getting closer).  And we find out that Roseanne's subconscious is convinced that Crystal has the hots for Dan, which makes her becoming his stepmother down the road even weirder.

Anyway, Roseanne wants a nice relaxing bath but falls asleep and dreams about how this desire is frustrated, leading her to murder her husband and children.  Jackie is spared but is both the arresting officer and Roseanne's lawyer.  (Jackie would several seasons later appear as Marcia Clark of the O.J. trial.)  Bert Parks is the Judge, to add to the randomness.  (They couldn't get Wapner or someone who might've made sense in this context?)  Roseanne is found guilty after her daughters testify, with Dan as the prosecuting attorney and a character witness.  And, yes, they're supposed to be dead.  Then it turns into a musical.  And Roseanne insists on singing, although she can't.  (It wouldn't be until the following summer that she'd perform a notorious rendition of the National Anthem.)  Note that we find out Becky's birthdate: March 15, 1975.

Stephen Dorff returns as Jimmy Meltrigger.  Charlayne Woodard appears for the last time, as what Becky describes as her mother's only happily married friend, Vonda, and does some nice singing.  Chip's mother, Bonnie Lang (Andrea Walters), is supposed to be in this episode, but I don't see how.  Ditto for Nancy Fish as Claire, unless they're just there in the background.  This is the 1100th of my shows to air on ABC, which will continue to dominate into the '90s.

Roseanne: BOO!

Roseanne: BOO!
ABC
October 31, 1989
Sitcom
DVD
C+

Norma Safford Vela wrote this first of the Roseanne Halloween episodes.  The family, especially Dan and Roseanne, keep trying to top each other with gross and/or scary tricks.  It's funny that Jackie jokes that Roseanne should tell Dan that she (Roseanne) is pregnant, since both women would have babies in later seasons.

Melora Walters makes her first of five appearances as Debbie.  Nine-year-old Luke Edwards takes over the role of Lonnie Anderson, although the character used to be the same age as Darlene.

Roseanne: Five of a Kind

Roseanne: Five of a Kind
ABC
October 24, 1989
Sitcom
DVD
B

Tom Arnold, not yet Roseanne's second husband at this time, plays the Aznad [inverse Danza] named character Arnie Thomas, for the first of nineteen times.  It's also the first of eight Roseanne stories by Norma Safford Vela, here collaborating with Danny Jacobson.  Dan has a bunch of his poker buddies over and, before the others arrive, Arnie gives Roseanne a kiss that flusters her.  She talks it out with Jackie, who's already a cop.  (Well, those six weeks flew by.)  The tag has Dan and his friends doing a sort of rap version of the Beverly Hillbillies theme.

Robert Miranda makes his first of three appearances as Andy, while Alan Blumenfeld, who's Zack, was a nameless man on Who's the Boss? in '85.

Roseanne: House of Grown-Ups

Roseanne: House of Grown-Ups
ABC
October 10, 1989
Sitcom
DVD
B

This is another Josh Whedon story that compares and contrasts the two pairs of sisters.  Darlene, who is somehow now 13 (just months after she was 11), goes to a high school party with Becky, who French-kisses Jimmy Meltrigger (offscreen).  Meanwhile, Roseanne starts to miss Jackie, even before the latter leaves for six weeks of police training.  Dan is as always sweet, supportive, and silly, getting Roseanne to sing a little of "I Got You Babe" with him.

Roseanne: Somebody Stole My Gal

Creeped out yet?

Roseanne: Somebody Stole My Gal
ABC
October 3, 1989
Sitcom
DVD
C+

I honestly don't know what to make of this episode, which is baffling from its title onward.  It seems like it's going to be about what happens when Roseanne tries to straighten out paperwork at Dan's job site, but instead it turns into a story about a needy architect who clings to the Conner family.  At first it's funny, but it crosses over into disturbing, and then is meant to be touching, I think.  This wouldn't be the last episode to be tonally strange (Rosemary's Baby tribute, anyone?), but it does feel odd this early in the run, and while we're still in the '80s.