Ellen: The Clip Show Patient

Ellen: The Clip Show Patient
ABC
April 8, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
C

Ellen volunteers at the hospital and meets the title character (Michael Des Barres in his second Ellen role), who's English.  (Get it?  Ha ha.)  She babbles and reminisces, sometimes merely on things like getting water.  The only entertaining things here are the disco music and outfits at the beginning and end of the episode.  Still, it's our last glimpse of pre-coming-out Ellen Morgan.  (Well, unless you count the first part of the next episode.)

Everett Greenbaum, who wrote 24 M*A*S*H episodes, plays the Older Man.  Various people appear in the clips, but most of them don't have lines.  DeGeneres's brother Vance wrote this story with David Walpert, whose middle of five this is.

Ellen: Ellen's Deaf Comedy Jam

Ellen: Ellen's Deaf Comedy Jam
ABC
February 12, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
B-

In this Jennifer Fisher story, Paige's ex-fiance Matt returns but to get back his grandmother's earrings to give to his new fiancee.  Spence assumes Matt is still interested in Paige, so he woos her, and she doesn't tell him the truth.  Meanwhile, Ellen thinks that a deaf man that Audrey (who's broken up with Mike just in time for Valentine's Day) is interested in is interested in Ellen.  When that's straightened out, Ellen promises that she'll never again let a man come between them.  And earlier in the episode, Audrey keeps coming over to sleep (platonically) with Ellen.

Ellen: When the Vow Breaks, Part 2

Ellen: When the Vow Breaks, Part 2
ABC
May 15, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

I like this Heisler & Heline conclusion, despite not being at all invested in Spence/Paige.  But then even Spence and Paige can't figure out their own attraction.  The fun here comes from other things, like Ellen working the impatient wedding crowd like, well, a stand-up comic and then singing "Heart & Soul," accompanied by an operatic Peter and a reluctant Barrett.  We even get Audrey explaining a Welcome Back, Kotter episode to Ron Palillo's groupie and then Ron joining in on the "If anyone here has any objection" stampede with some very Horshackian "oo-oos."  The season sort of ends here, except it doesn't.

Connie Britton, Ebick Pizzadili, and Kimmy Robertson return as respectively Heather, Mia, and Brandy but would never be seen on the show again.

Ellen: When the Vow Breaks, Part 1

Ellen: When the Vow Breaks, Part 1
ABC
May 8, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Meanwhile on Ellen, Paige and Matt's wedding has its own complications, ranging from ventriloquist dummies to infidelity, as Spence and Paige make out minutes before the ceremony.  Poor Ellen is as always caught in the middle.  Also in this Flebotte & Herschlag story, Audrey and "Ron Palillo, TV's Horshack" have a falling out.  You would, if you weren't a veteran ABC viewer, think that they would next air Part 2, but no.  Continuity is not supposed to matter, especially in the '90s.

Ebick Pizzadilli is again Matt's daughter Mia, and Connie Britton is again Paige's sister Heather.  Greg Collins, who was the Track Security Guard in The Brady 500, is Agent Chamberlain here.  Kimmy Robertson would also be Brandy in Part 2.  Gregory Sierra plays General Colon, not unlike El Puerco on Soap.

Ellen: Go Girlz

Ellen: Go Girlz
ABC
May 1, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

In this DeBenedictis & Rowland story with a very '90s title, Paige and Matt have a fight over his bachelor party, but then she ends up having a wilder time at the slumber party that Ellen throws for her.  There's ominous foreshadowing about the wedding, although the resolution implies that it was really Spence's car that was in danger.  Note that this contains at least the third line of Audrey's this season about three girls drinking wine and doing another activity or two.

Staff writer Jonathan Stark appears onscreen as Gus.  Leno reads "funny headlines" in the title sequence.  Najimy's character of Paige's boss Lorna Irons is very different than her previous role of Adam's other best friend.

Ellen: Two Ring Circus

Ellen: Two Ring Circus
ABC
February 28, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

This David Flebotte story is very funny and multi-layered, although much of the latter is hindsight.  After two months of dating (more like a month and a half between airdates), Matt wants to propose to Paige at a hockey game, since they both love hockey.  She's been hiding her true self from the beginning, and this is tested when he gets her a "demure" ring.  The proposal is like and unlike the Who's the Boss? proposal of four-and-a-half seasons earlier.  Paige gleefully accepts, unlike Angela reluctantly saying no, but the crowd is as happy about the proposal as they were about Tony's (here on a scoreboard rather than a blimp, but then it would be indoors of course).  However, Matt is actually unconscious, knocked out by a puck, and it's Ellen that Paige accepts and hugs, and the crowd, this being L.A., in nonjudgmental. 

This isn't the only moment that teases about Ellen's then closeted state.  (If I recall correctly, there had been rumors for years, but the public at large had no idea about DeGeneres.)  When Ellen looks at bridal magazines, she likes the tux better than the gowns.  And meanwhile, Peter and Barrett exchange rings but, unlike Matt and Paige, no kisses, just hugs.  It's as if the powers that be (DeGeneres included) are testing the waters here for what would become perhaps the longest coming-out in television history.  The playfulness spills over into less in-joky lines like a reference to "that dreamy Robby Benson," i.e. that season's director.  Note that Spence is not thrilled about Paige's engagement, but it's unclear if it's just jealousy or if he thinks she shouldn't found a relationship on dishonesty, maybe both.

Bari K. Willerford returns as the Delivery Man.  This time, Moore gives Ellen hat-tossing lessons in the title sequence.

Ellen: Ellen, with Child

Ellen: Ellen, with Child
ABC
February 14, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

In this very funny, censor-teasing Benedictis & Rowland story, Ellen hits it off much better with Matt's daughter Mia (Ebick Pizzadili, who would return) than Paige does.  In the midst of a science museum exhibit on the female reproductive system (my favorite part of the episode), Ellen decides that she'd like to have children one day.  But babysitting Mia while Matt and Paige go camping shows Ellen that motherhood is much harder than it looks, especially when Mia picks up on a swear word Ellen uses.

In a title sequence that wasn't then ironic on the surface, RuPaul teaches Ellen how to walk in an evening gown.  This is the 500th show I've reviewed from the '90s.  I think we'll make it to 600, but I can't say beyond that.

Ellen: Morgan, P.I.

Ellen: Morgan, P.I.
ABC
January 10, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

I ended up liking this Dava Savel story more than I expected, even though it lays down the groundwork for a triangle among Paige, Spence, and Detective Matt Liston (Dan Gauthier, who was one of Sam's better one-episode boyfriends on Who's the Boss?).  A plague of robberies have broken out in the neighborhood of Ellen's bookstore.  She and her friends, especially Spence, play amateur detectives, but Paige is mostly interested in attracting young, good-looking Detective Liston.  Spence wants to see if he and Paige have been fighting so much because of sexual tension, but at this point she's not at all interested.  The romantic lines cross over, along with some pretty good slapstick with Ellen, and it's even nice to see Spence play hero in the end.  (Well, at the very end, the thief charges Spence with assault.)

Noelle Hannibal is as always an uncredited Customer.

Who's the Boss?: Selling Sam Short

More moments like this please

Who's the Boss?: Selling Sam Short
ABC
October 19, 1991
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Teverbaugh & Va Salle story has Tony becoming obsessed again, but this time with the stock market, thanks to Sam's new boyfriend, a 27-year-old stockbroker named Pierce (Dan Gauthier, who would be Paige's boyfriend on Ellen four seasons later).  There are some T & A moments, as when she distracts him with a kiss when they shoot hoops, and Sam's romance is interesting, but I just don't buy someone as practical as Tony falling for the stock market in this way.  Note that not only Donald Trump but Ivana and Marla are mentioned.