Ellen: A Hollywood Tribute

Ellen: A Hollywood Tribute
ABC
May 13, 1998
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Linda Ellerbee hosts this hour-long mockumentary about Ellen's career, going back to the 1920s, with this sitcom starting in 1959.  The writing by Tim Doyle, who wrote a couple Roseanne episodes, is uneven but I like the various pastiches of different eras and styles.  My favorites are the 1950s guess-the-Commie game show and the early '70s cartoon about "Ellen and the Fun Bunch" (in outer space with the Harlem Globetrotters, of course).

Celebrities I didn't tag include Jennifer Aniston, Bea Arthur, Orson Bean, Richard Benjamin, Diahann Carroll, Glenn Close, Tim Conway, Cindy Crawford, Ted Danson, Woody Harrelson, Christine Lahti, Jada Pinkett Smith, and Mary Steenburgen.

Steven Anderson, who was a Young Man on The Bob Newhart Show in 1976 and Higgins on Three's Company in '81, is a Bookish Man here.  Jim Doughan played Amazing Dave on Who's the Boss? and is a Camera Assistant here.  Phil Leeds, who was on a few Roseanne episodes, is one of the Comedians here.  Man #1 Gene Allan Poe played a Salesman before.  Dan Finnerty, who previously was a Doorman on this show, plays both Crew Member Dan and Tom.

Ellen: It's a Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay World

Ellen: It's a Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay World
ABC
February 25, 1998
Sitcom
DVD
C+

This is a somewhat heavy-handed story where Spence dreams that he's a closeted heterosexual in a world where homosexuals are the majority.  The best jokes here are name-drops of celebrities, but this episode feels like it needed a couple more drafts to make the writing, by David Walpert, sharper and/or subtler.

Bunny Summers, who was a Wardrobe Lady on That Girl and Mrs. Cassio on Who's the Boss?, is "Mom" here.

Ellen: Like a Virgin

Ellen: Like a Virgin
ABC
November 26, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
B

This first of two Ellen stories by Jane Espenson sweetly and gently explores Ellen's nervousness about a possible "first time" with Laurie while Holly (Kayla Murphy) is away.  She gets advice from her friends (minus absent Joe) but mostly importantly she talks things out with Laurie.  What's interesting here, and I think not noticed with all of the hullaboo over "controversial content" (some of the episodes that season were given TV-14 ratings), is that the real taboo being shattered here is that an ABC sitcom couple talks things out and works on communication.  If only Tony and Angela had done this!  The real mature content is not what happens (offscreen) in the bedroom but what happens on the couch as Ellen and Laurie discuss "sleeping together" and end up literally sleeping together.

Ellen: Gay Yellow Pages

Ellen: Gay Yellow Pages
ABC
October 15, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Tod Himmel and Lisa K. Nelson's first of two Ellen stories has Peter encouraging Ellen to use the object in the episode title, but the plumber Ellen hires from it is incompetent.  Then she finds out that the good plumber her dad recommended is gay.  It feels quaint to have a character explain the meaning of the rainbow flag, but I think they were still trying to get the mainstream audience used to all this.

Ironically, Meagen Fay, who plays "rigid" (Peter's word) Amy, was stick-up-her-ass neighbor Kathy Bowman on Roseanne 

Ellen: Guys or Dolls

Ellen wonders, "Why must my dreams be so cryptic?"

Ellen: Guys or Dolls
ABC
September 24, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
B+

Spence and Paige double-date with Ellen and a sort of stupid but pretty woman, but when Ellen finds out that the restaurant owner is her ex-boyfriend Dan, she makes a connection that surprises her and everyone.  William Ragsdale is just as adorable as ever and here Dan proves to be an even greater guy than before, accepting Ellen for who she is and respecting her boundaries even when she's not sure of them herself.  At the time, this very funny yet insightful season-opener, the first of three Ellen stories written by Ric Swartzlander, made me wish Ellen were bi, but at least the possibility was put out there.

Both Joe and Audrey are absent, and indeed it's unclear at this point if they're still working at the bookstore.

Ellen: The Puppy Episode

Ellen: The Puppy Episode
ABC
April 30, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
A-

Ellen DeGeneres's story was turned into a teleplay by staff writers Driscoll, Newman, Savel, and Stark.  It would win an Emmy and change television forever.  Forty-two million people tuned in.  For a couple weeks I decided I was a lesbian.  (Then I became deeply infatuated with a man and went back to identifying as bisexual, like I had since I was a preschooler.)

But is it still entertaining?  Heck yeah!  It is sharp, hilarious, joyous, and a little bit heartbreaking.  Even things like Ellen's awkwardness and babbling fit remarkably well, as she struggles through her sexual identity and her feelings for a woman named Susan (Laura Dern, just right).  Here it was, twenty years after Jodie on Soap, and it was a struggle to even get the story on the air, and that comes through even now, in the performances of the cast, including Oprah Winfrey as the wise and dry-humored therapist, and in the obviously thrilled studio audience.  OK, the celebrity cameos aren't all as obvious as they were then, although it's still a delight to hear Melissa Etheridge serenade a blushing Ellen for her bravery, or to watch K. D. Lang play a waitress.

The episode is of course mostly about Ellen, and those friends of hers are featured less, but they all have their moments (yes, even Spence), like Audrey's enthusiastic literal and figurative embrace of Ellen, and of course Peter's joy at Ellen telling him first (not counting Susan, the therapist, and the people at the airport).  It's an hour-long episode so I could go on and on, but I just want to mention three things, two of them related to the photos I've chosen.  The other is a moment where the therapist compares the prejudice that Ellen fears to what blacks underwent before the Civil Rights Movement.  In the hands of lesser writers, or lesser performers, this could be awkward and/or heavy-handed, but the moment makes its point with a light touch.  (One shudders to imagine how this would've gone on Roseanne in the last couple seasons.)

When Ellen finds the courage to first speak the words, "I'm gay," it's accidentally into the airport p.a. system.  This is another moment that might not have worked, but it does, helped partly by the visible relief of Ellen (Morgan and DeGeneres) afterwards, and the hug Susan gives her.  Note that this scene, just as much as some of the airport scenes on Who's the Boss? five or more years earlier, looks surreal after 9/11.  You simply can't go up and hug someone about to board a plane, as Ellen does.  (I haven't mentioned Ellen's date with her old friend Richard, but there are some laughs from that in the first half of the episode.)

Susan has a seemingly throwaway line about failing to "recruit" Ellen and thus losing a chance at a toaster oven.  Then we get the tag scene that pays off from that, with Etheridge enthusiastically stamping Ellen's application (and the clipboard).  "Toaster oven" would become (if it wasn't already) an LGBT (not yet Q or A) semi-in-joke for the next few years, and the scene is funny in of itself.  Just an all around wonderful episode.  (But, no, not an A or A+.  I don't think TV can achieve that like books or movies can.)

Waiter Patrick Harrigan had previously been Customer No. 1.  Kathy Najimy makes her third and last appearance on the show, in the very small role of a Woman in Gay Bar (technically a coffeehouse).  This time DeGeneres's mother Betty is a Woman at Airport.

Ellen: The Clip Show Patient

Ellen: The Clip Show Patient
ABC
April 8, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
C

Ellen volunteers at the hospital and meets the title character (Michael Des Barres in his second Ellen role), who's English.  (Get it?  Ha ha.)  She babbles and reminisces, sometimes merely on things like getting water.  The only entertaining things here are the disco music and outfits at the beginning and end of the episode.  Still, it's our last glimpse of pre-coming-out Ellen Morgan.  (Well, unless you count the first part of the next episode.)

Everett Greenbaum, who wrote 24 M*A*S*H episodes, plays the Older Man.  Various people appear in the clips, but most of them don't have lines.  DeGeneres's brother Vance wrote this story with David Walpert, whose middle of five this is.

Ellen: Hello, Dalai

Ellen: Hello, Dalai
ABC
February 19, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
B-

In this odd Idelson & Lotterstein story, Ellen and Peter go to a retreat run by Dalai Rajhavaari (Iqbal Theba, who was Dr. Bakshi on a couple Roseanne episodes earlier that season).  Peter hurts Ellen's feelings by saying he thinks she's not really happy or honest with herself.  (There's a big audience-tease when Peter "tells himself" he's gay and waits for Ellen to make a similar announcement.)  Meanwhile, someone robs the bookstore, tying up Ellen's four friends in the office, and we never see them rescued, although Ed is spoken of as due to come in in the morning.  Robber Don Yesso was previously Fight Fan #2.

Ellen: Ellen's Deaf Comedy Jam

Ellen: Ellen's Deaf Comedy Jam
ABC
February 12, 1997
Sitcom
DVD
B-

In this Jennifer Fisher story, Paige's ex-fiance Matt returns but to get back his grandmother's earrings to give to his new fiancee.  Spence assumes Matt is still interested in Paige, so he woos her, and she doesn't tell him the truth.  Meanwhile, Ellen thinks that a deaf man that Audrey (who's broken up with Mike just in time for Valentine's Day) is interested in is interested in Ellen.  When that's straightened out, Ellen promises that she'll never again let a man come between them.  And earlier in the episode, Audrey keeps coming over to sleep (platonically) with Ellen.

Ellen: Kiss My Bum

Ellen: Kiss My Bum
ABC
November 27, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

David Walpert wrote this story where Ellen volunteers at a soup kitchen to prove her charitability to Ed.  She bonds with another helper, Perry (a surprisingly serious Joe Flaherty), and invites him to Thanksgiving dinner.  She doesn't realize that Perry is homeless, so things get very awkward.  Meanwhile, Spence's mother Ferne (Kathleen Noone in the first of two appearances) visits from New York, and Spence assumes she won't like Paige.  (She doesn't but is very nice to Paige to her face.)  This episode is a bit heavy-handed, but I like the playing with stereotypes during the football game, with Peter and Barrett yelling at the TV, while Spence and Joe discuss pies.

Ellen: Harold and Ellen

Ellen: Harold and Ellen
ABC
November 6, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

This uneven but sometimes very funny and touching story by Alex Herschlag has Ellen trying to take care of her father while her mother is away, despite Ellen's own injury and inability to bake a pie.  And I almost liked Spence in this one, where he and Joe may or may not be abducted by aliens.  (This isn't Soap or Roseanne, so I think it's just a tag gag.)  Note that Bristow does some more operatic singing.

Surprisingly, there are two Gidget connections here.  A heavily disguised Harvey Korman plays Ellen's therapist du jour, over thirty years after his Gidget appearance.  This is the only Ellen episode directed by Michael Lembeck, whom I mostly know as a an actor (including on One Day at a Time, which I do not own), and this is 27 years after he appeared in Gidget Grows Up.

Ellen: The Bubble Gum Incident

Ellen: The Bubble Gum Incident
ABC
October 30, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

David Walpert's first of five Ellen stories reveals that Ellen and Paige's friendship is built on a lie.  They met in summer camp 25 years ago, as we've heard in other episodes.  But it turns out that Ellen put gum in Paige's hair while the latter was asleep, and let another girl take the blame for it all this time.  Ellen fears Paige learning the truth when they attend their camp reunion, but Paige is remarkably forgiving when she hears.

Romy Rosemont, who was Margaret D. on Roseanne, is The Woman here.  Wolfgang Puck, who was himself on Who's the Boss? in '87, is himself in the title sequence.  As far as I know, Anne Rice doesn't appear in any other of my shows.  And, yes, that is Kaley Cuoco playing Little Ellen in the flashbacks, at the age of 11, eleven years before she'd become Penny on The Big Bang Theory.

Ellen: Give Me Equity or Give Me Death

Ellen: Give Me Equity or Give Me Death
ABC
September 18, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

I would've gone with a B for this Dava-Savel-written fourth-season opener, if not for, ugh, Spence.  I can tolerate his relationship with Paige, including that he doesn't know if he likes or loves her, beyond her smell.  But I don't appreciate him being a moron when he's giving Ellen legal advice.

The hint-dropping and audience-teasing of this season really begin in earnest.  Ellen sings, "I feel witty and pretty and-- Hey!"  She wears boxer shorts.  And when Peter's realtor, Margaret (Nancy Lenehan, who was a Happy Customer on Roseanne in '90 and who would return in this role thrice more), does a slide show in Ellen's living room, she has a doll for Ellen and a doll for Ellen's husband, causing Ellen to remark that that doll is in the wrong story.  But officially, the main change in Ellen's life is she really wants a house and she's tempted to sell the bookstore to two hippie entrepreneurs, Tom and Larry (a Ben & Jerry satire I've always assumed).

Larry Hankin, who was Gus on That Girl in '68, is Larry.  Raymond Forchion, who'd previously been Customer #2, is Smitty here.  This is the first of thirty episodes Gil Junger would direct in the last two seasons of Ellen.

Ellen: When the Vow Breaks, Part 2

Ellen: When the Vow Breaks, Part 2
ABC
May 15, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

I like this Heisler & Heline conclusion, despite not being at all invested in Spence/Paige.  But then even Spence and Paige can't figure out their own attraction.  The fun here comes from other things, like Ellen working the impatient wedding crowd like, well, a stand-up comic and then singing "Heart & Soul," accompanied by an operatic Peter and a reluctant Barrett.  We even get Audrey explaining a Welcome Back, Kotter episode to Ron Palillo's groupie and then Ron joining in on the "If anyone here has any objection" stampede with some very Horshackian "oo-oos."  The season sort of ends here, except it doesn't.

Connie Britton, Ebick Pizzadili, and Kimmy Robertson return as respectively Heather, Mia, and Brandy but would never be seen on the show again.

Ellen: When the Vow Breaks, Part 1

Ellen: When the Vow Breaks, Part 1
ABC
May 8, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Meanwhile on Ellen, Paige and Matt's wedding has its own complications, ranging from ventriloquist dummies to infidelity, as Spence and Paige make out minutes before the ceremony.  Poor Ellen is as always caught in the middle.  Also in this Flebotte & Herschlag story, Audrey and "Ron Palillo, TV's Horshack" have a falling out.  You would, if you weren't a veteran ABC viewer, think that they would next air Part 2, but no.  Continuity is not supposed to matter, especially in the '90s.

Ebick Pizzadilli is again Matt's daughter Mia, and Connie Britton is again Paige's sister Heather.  Greg Collins, who was the Track Security Guard in The Brady 500, is Agent Chamberlain here.  Kimmy Robertson would also be Brandy in Part 2.  Gregory Sierra plays General Colon, not unlike El Puerco on Soap.

Ellen: Two Ring Circus

Ellen: Two Ring Circus
ABC
February 28, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

This David Flebotte story is very funny and multi-layered, although much of the latter is hindsight.  After two months of dating (more like a month and a half between airdates), Matt wants to propose to Paige at a hockey game, since they both love hockey.  She's been hiding her true self from the beginning, and this is tested when he gets her a "demure" ring.  The proposal is like and unlike the Who's the Boss? proposal of four-and-a-half seasons earlier.  Paige gleefully accepts, unlike Angela reluctantly saying no, but the crowd is as happy about the proposal as they were about Tony's (here on a scoreboard rather than a blimp, but then it would be indoors of course).  However, Matt is actually unconscious, knocked out by a puck, and it's Ellen that Paige accepts and hugs, and the crowd, this being L.A., in nonjudgmental. 

This isn't the only moment that teases about Ellen's then closeted state.  (If I recall correctly, there had been rumors for years, but the public at large had no idea about DeGeneres.)  When Ellen looks at bridal magazines, she likes the tux better than the gowns.  And meanwhile, Peter and Barrett exchange rings but, unlike Matt and Paige, no kisses, just hugs.  It's as if the powers that be (DeGeneres included) are testing the waters here for what would become perhaps the longest coming-out in television history.  The playfulness spills over into less in-joky lines like a reference to "that dreamy Robby Benson," i.e. that season's director.  Note that Spence is not thrilled about Paige's engagement, but it's unclear if it's just jealousy or if he thinks she shouldn't found a relationship on dishonesty, maybe both.

Bari K. Willerford returns as the Delivery Man.  This time, Moore gives Ellen hat-tossing lessons in the title sequence.

Ellen: Salad Days

Ellen: Salad Days
ABC
November 15, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B-

At the time, this Dava Savel story was notable for the extended cameo of Martha Stewart as herself, but today I was mostly pleased to see the introduction of Paige's assistant Barrett (Jack Plotnick), who immediately hits it off with Peter.  (Bristow is queenier than ever, leading to a great throwaway line from Ellen about his wife.  As for Plotnick, he'd play Barrett in a dozen episodes, as well as have a nifty little role as the also gay Maurice in the 2003 movie Down with Love.)  I might've gone with a B, but I kept thinking that Ellen was getting frazzled for nothing.  (Admittedly, that's often true, but it did seem particularly needless this episode.)

Pat Millicano, who was Ned on the series finale of Who's the Boss?, is Ellen's neighbor Randy here.  Stephanie Erb makes her first of two appearances as Spence's actress girlfriend Denise, in this episode wearing Babylon 5 makeup.  And DeGeneres's real-life mother Betty appears in the credits sequence and would return to the show twice more, but not as herself. 

Ellen: $5,000

Ellen: $5,000
ABC
March 22, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B

Newman & Stark wrote this very funny episode where an IRS agent (Dann Florek, great here, at a point when he'd been on Roseanne the first of three times, as Darlene's Principal, before coming back as a doctor) encourages Ellen to spend her refund of the title amount, but she gives it to Helping Hand, only to find out that the IRS made a mistake.  Meanwhile, Joe is an illegal immigrant from Canada, and Adam is taking pictures of Paige as inanimate objects.

Ellen: Ballet Class

Ellen: Ballet Class
ABC
February 8, 1995
Sitcom
DVD
B

Richard Day wrote this episode that turned out better than I expected.  Ellen decides to pursue her childhood dream of becoming a ballerina.  And Adam, who trained in ballet for six years, agrees to coach her.  She's taking a class from Peter (Patrick Bristow) from Helping Hands and hopes to get the lead.  Meanwhile, Joe sarcastically lets Ellen know when he's being sarcastic, her mother continues to pressure her about finding a man, and Paige's new boyfriend wears bad '70s fashions.  This all comes to a head in two scenes, one where Ellen's parents are delighted she's brought a man home, even though Peter is very, very obviously gay.  (Bristow is adorable in the role and I'm glad he became semi-recurring.)  The finale has Adam and Ellen dancing the leads (after the bitchy prima donna does herself an injury), and everyone cheers them, including Paige in a "vinyl cow dress" as Joe puts it.  I like that for once Ellen is allowed to triumph, without it being undercut.  (She's clumsy in the tag, but that's OK.)

Ballet Dancer Courtney Pakiz had previously been the Yoga Instructor.

Ellen: Saint Ellen

Ellen: Saint Ellen
ABC
September 28, 1994
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Richard Day wrote this episode that's most notable for the introduction of Peter Barnes (played by Patrick Bristow), here an enthusiastic volunteer at the charity, and later Ellen's gay friend.  The celebrity names that are dropped (Keanu Reeves et al.) are still recognizable ones, although the amazement over a big-screen TV feels dated.  We here learn that Adam is a photographer, although it seemed like in the first season he had various office jobs.