Ellen: When the Vow Breaks, Part 2

Ellen: When the Vow Breaks, Part 2
ABC
May 15, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B

I like this Heisler & Heline conclusion, despite not being at all invested in Spence/Paige.  But then even Spence and Paige can't figure out their own attraction.  The fun here comes from other things, like Ellen working the impatient wedding crowd like, well, a stand-up comic and then singing "Heart & Soul," accompanied by an operatic Peter and a reluctant Barrett.  We even get Audrey explaining a Welcome Back, Kotter episode to Ron Palillo's groupie and then Ron joining in on the "If anyone here has any objection" stampede with some very Horshackian "oo-oos."  The season sort of ends here, except it doesn't.

Connie Britton, Ebick Pizzadili, and Kimmy Robertson return as respectively Heather, Mia, and Brandy but would never be seen on the show again.

Ellen: When the Vow Breaks, Part 1

Ellen: When the Vow Breaks, Part 1
ABC
May 8, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Meanwhile on Ellen, Paige and Matt's wedding has its own complications, ranging from ventriloquist dummies to infidelity, as Spence and Paige make out minutes before the ceremony.  Poor Ellen is as always caught in the middle.  Also in this Flebotte & Herschlag story, Audrey and "Ron Palillo, TV's Horshack" have a falling out.  You would, if you weren't a veteran ABC viewer, think that they would next air Part 2, but no.  Continuity is not supposed to matter, especially in the '90s.

Ebick Pizzadilli is again Matt's daughter Mia, and Connie Britton is again Paige's sister Heather.  Greg Collins, who was the Track Security Guard in The Brady 500, is Agent Chamberlain here.  Kimmy Robertson would also be Brandy in Part 2.  Gregory Sierra plays General Colon, not unlike El Puerco on Soap.

Ellen: Horshack's Law

Ellen: Horshack's Law
ABC
January 3, 1996
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This story by Tom Leopold meanders, as the gang tries to go to a party for John Travolta, but it does end on a lovely note, with Audrey hitting it off with Ron Palillo (who does a little Horshack laugh).

Elya Baskin, who plays Sergei the emotional limo driver, was a Foreign Man on Roseanne in '89.  Daryl Rowland, who's the Blues Musician in the credits sequence, had written two earlier episodes and would write two more.

Welcome Back, Kotter: The Bread Winners

Welcome Back, Kotter: The Bread Winners
ABC
June 8, 1979
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Epstein hopes to get a job through Woodman's niece Kelly (Georganne LaPiere again).  However, Washington unknowingly wins over the owner of the antique store, Mrs. Gladstone Trevors-Smythe (Priscilla Morrill, who among other things played Chrissy Snow's mother).  And of course that's where the job is.  Mr. Kotter shows up to try to make peace between the two fighting friends, but they end up leaving the Horshacks' dinner party to go settle things at the gym.  Again, this episode, written by Morris & Rauseo, is better than I expected.  I really didn't think the season would end on a relatively good streak.

Welcome Back, Kotter in its final season ranges from C- to B-, averaging out to the C+/B- border, so I can't say it totally jumps the shark, although there are definitely lows it never hit before.  I think it could've actually gone to a fifth season, if, one, Kaplan had become a real part of things again (and the backstage drama had died down), and two, there hadn't been yet another year in high school.  The characters were edging into adulthood and it would've been interesting to follow up on that.  On the other hand, the energy and joy of the first season or two, like the dance below, were long gone.  This isn't a perfect moment to end it, but it'll do.

Welcome Back, Kotter: I'm Okay, But You're Not

Welcome Back, Kotter: I'm Okay, But You're Not
ABC
June 1, 1979
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Hawkins & Sage episode is much better than I expected, although it feels like it should've come much earlier in the season.  Beau has been buttering up Mr. Woodman to the point that his own student evaluation is great but those of his friends are very negative.  They blame Beau, who, after a heart-to-heart talk with Mrs. Kotter (who turns out to have seen through his stories from Day One), decides to deliberately get in trouble with Mr. W.  For the record, I think JS White looks good in a kilt.

Welcome Back, Kotter: Oo-Oo, I Do, Part 2

Welcome Back, Kotter: Oo-Oo, I Do, Part 2
ABC
May 25, 1979
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Perret & Richmond also wrote this part (or like I said, it might've all aired as a one-hour special) and, despite an unfunny section where Arnold's friends go looking for him after they scare him about being unable to support Mary, it's on the same level as Part One.  It's good to see Mr. Kotter back (Kaplan in his Fast Break beard) and good to see Juan in drag at the bachelor party held at Vinnie's.  (Vinnie is working late at the hospital.  Travolta wasn't coming back.)  Note that Mary's Uncle (according to the credits) gives her away, and we have no idea how any of their parents feel about the wedding.  But Gabe is avuncular as always, even giving his wedding ring for the ceremony.



Dick Winslow, who plays the one-man band/minister, had a couple roles on The Brady Bunch.  Kenneth White, who plays the Marine Recruiter, was Corporal Denning on M*A*S*H and would be Officer Bellows on Three's Company.

This is the 500th B- I've given on this blog, with many more to come.

Welcome Back, Kotter: Oo-Oo, I Do, Part 1

Welcome Back, Kotter: Oo-Oo, I Do, Part 1
ABC
May 25, 1979
Sitcom
DVD
B-

In this Perret & Richmond episode, Arnold's mother gets married offscreen to an Atlantic City blackjack dealer.  (There apparently was another stepfather after Mr. O'Hara, that one a circus performer.)  Meanwhile, he has a job working for Mary Johnson's unseen uncle, and he and Mary are falling in love.  He doesn't want to move with his family (the brother and sisters are mentioned but also unseen) and ends up proposing to Mary.  There are some sweet moments between them and, if we can ignore that whole "drunk Arnold" lapse, they have a good relationship, so it doesn't feel too rushed that they're getting married, not that I cared when I was eleven of course.  (Janet getting married on Three's Company in '84 was a betrayal though, for reasons I'll go into then.)

I'm tagging Kaplan because he's seen in the "next episode" montage.  Part 2 actually aired right after, so who knows if that was even there originally, but I go by what's on the programs in the condition and format I have them.

Welcome Back, Kotter: The Gang Show

Welcome Back, Kotter: The Gang Show
ABC
March 17, 1979
Sitcom
DVD
C-

This Perret & Richmond episode may well be the least funny episode of the series, and not just the jokes that are supposed to be unfunny.  (The studio audience would disagree with me, since they're still reacting a lot, one guy even yelling out, "The watch.")  The only thing saving it from a D+ or lower is that Fleischer is good on the guitar and harmonica.  Note that it's been about a year and a half since the Three Do's and a Don't talent-show episode, which looks classic compared to this.

Della Reese returns as English teacher Mrs. Tremaine.  It's a pity she had to guest on such sub-par episodes, because it would've been fun to see her and Kaplan working together in, say, Season Two.  Strassman is again absent, as are of course Kaplan and Travolta.  Note that this is the last appearance of Carvelli & Murray, who did not prove to be shark-bait in themselves but on the other hand didn't exactly save the series either, harmonica aside.

Welcome Back, Kotter: The Sweat Smell of Success

Welcome Back, Kotter: The Sweat Smell of Success
ABC
March 3, 1979
Sitcom
DVD
C+

This Barret & Bloom has Juan unable to run a projector, although he managed fine on the "adult film" episode, and working on the school paper, with no mention of his previous stint.  It is nice to see Mary Johnson get a little more character development, as editor of the paper.  Gabe and Vinnie remain absent.  This is the 1200th program I've reviewed and we're not even out of the '70s.

Welcome Back, Kotter: Come Back, Little Arnold

Welcome Back, Kotter: Come Back, Little Arnold
ABC
February 24, 1979
Sitcom
DVD
C-

This is the sort of thing that gives the phrase "A Very Special Episode" such negative connotations.  Arnold starts drinking and has an extreme mood change, in a very short period of time.  The Hawkins & Sage script is over the top, but Palillo's performance makes things worse, especially his reading of "Don't go away mad.  Just go away."  (Some blame is due to the director, Abbott.)  Arnold accidentally punching his girlfriend Mary in the face would've been the low, but them kissing soon after (never mind her injured jaw) is worse.  The episode is almost saved by Della Reese's performance as Mrs. Jean Tremaine, the English teacher, her first of two appearances in the role, hence C- rather than D+ or worse.  Note that even the prom is held in the schoolyard.

Not only Kaplan and Travolta are absent but also Strassman.

Welcome Back, Kotter: The Goodbye Guy

LaPiere and her famous sister

Welcome Back, Kotter: The Goodbye Guy
ABC
February 10, 1979
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Susanne Gayle Harris, who has only one other credit, came up with the story and co-wrote the teleplay with Hawkins & Sage.  Perhaps that combination of inexperience and too many cooks is why, despite potential to be really good, maybe even a B+, this episode feels a little muddled.  Woodman's niece Kelly (Georganne LaPiere, who would return in the role) babysits the twins, and she and Juan fall for each other.  Woodman of course isn't happy, especially when Juan and Kelly decide to move in together.  But they learn that they don't have much in common.  LaPiere gives a nice performance, and Hegyes does well with the more serious material, but the episode doesn't quite work, too unfocusued and tonally uneven.

Corey Fischer, who was Capt. Phil Cardoza on M*A*S*H, plays the Waiter.

Welcome Back, Kotter: Barbarino's Baby

Paintings in the elevator?  Um, OK.

Welcome Back, Kotter: Barbarino's Baby
ABC
February 3, 1979
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Morris & Rauseo episode marks the last appearance of Travolta and it's not a bad note to end on.  Vinnie tries to impress Nurse Bonney (Jane Dulo again) but she just keeps giving him mop duty.  Then he, his friends, and Sidney and Myrna Fishbein (Henry Corden, best known as the voice of Fred Flintsone, and Mary Jo Catlett, who keeps popping up more than I expected), a couple who are about to have their eighth child, are trapped in an elevator.  The outcome is somewhat predictable but the energy level is higher than lately and the writing a little sharper, like Epstein's "Otis" joke.  Far from a classic episode, but good for the final season.  And it does have Mr. Woodman disco-dancing as he sings "Macho Man."

Welcome Back, Kotter: Bride and Gloom

Welcome Back, Kotter: Bride and Gloom
ABC
January 13, 1979
Sitcom
DVD
C

This Barret & Bloom story doesn't make much sense, from the way the news of Vinnie getting married, to Juan's cousin in need of a Green Card, is handled, to the fact that she tells Vinnie she wants dental work, even though she doesn't speak much English and he speaks no Spanish.  Also, the energy feels low.  I was going to go with a C-, but I like Juan dancing to "Hava Nagila" on marimba, as well Mr. Woodman's tale of being jilted by an aviatrix.

Linda McCullough makes her last appearance as Vinnie's girlfriend Sally.

Welcome Back, Kotter: A Winter Coat's Tale

Different episode, same era

Welcome Back, Kotter: A Winter Coat's Tale
ABC
December 16, 1978
Sitcom
DVD
C+

In this Barret & Bloom story, Vinnie buys himself an expensive coat for Christmas, but of course learns the "true meaning" bla bla bla.  Mostly notable for one, Mrs. Kotter filling in as a teacher even though she admits she's not licensed, and two, for Epstein eating spaghetti off Vinnie's tree.

Of the two Hollander brothers who play the "Punks," Adam would die less than six years later, hit by a car while riding a bicycle.  Note that Shortridge's name is finally in the credits.  (They really rushed things with Melonie Haller.)

Welcome Back, Kotter: Frog Day Afternoon

Welcome Back, Kotter: Frog Day Afternoon
ABC
November 25, 1978
Sitcom
DVD
B-

This Barret & Bloom story has a bit of in-joky casting, Dena Dietrich as Ilona Garland the Biology teacher.  In addition to her roles as the sisters of Helen Roper and Dorothy Petrillo, she's probably most recognizable as Mother Nature in a series of Chiffon butter commercials.  (And the slogan "It's not nice to fool Mother Nature" pops up on various sitcoms of the day, including What's Happening!!)

Ms. Garland threatens to flunk Arnold if he won't dissect a frog.  He manages to convince everyone that it's braver to stand up for his beliefs than to kill an animal.  I feel like Epstein is getting a bit Flanderized at this point (his "excuse note" for the frogs that Arnold wants to free falls flat), but this is still one of the better episodes of the last season.  Note that Mr. Woodman, who was fleeing Miss Fishbeck a couple seasons ago, seems quite taken with Ms. Garland.

John Travolta is absent (along with Kaplan, Shortridge, Fleischer, and Harcum) but sister Ellen shows up in her last appearance as Horshack's mother.

Welcome Back, Kotter: Washington's Clone

Welcome Back, Kotter: Washington's Clone
ABC
November 11, 1978
Sitcom
DVD
C

The title character is a straight-A student who idolizes Washington, to the point that he lets his grades slip and starts committing crimes!  Well, we find out that the watches he's stolen are actually from his father's shop.  I was going to go with a C+ on this, since it feels odd that Washington is more annoyed at the beginning, before Arthur dresses and talks like him.  Then there was another unfunny slapstick sequence with Vinnie's patient, so I took it down to a C.  Then I was going to give it a C- because the Sweathogs trying to act like a real gang was painful, until some comparatively funny moments happened.  So, yes, back to a C.

Note that of all the lines in the fourth season, the only one that really stayed with me was Julie's "Up your average," because at ten years old I didn't get why the studio audience thought it was outrageous.

Welcome Back, Kotter: The Barbarino Blues

McCullough on a different episode

Welcome Back, Kotter: The Barbarino Blues
ABC
November 3, 1978
Sitcom
DVD
C

This Morris & Rauseo episode is a bit of a mess, with scenarios causing mood whiplash without enough reason for the shifts.  Vinnie wants to break up with his girlfriend Sally (Linda McCullough), so he has the guys standing by in case she cries, faints, or attempts suicide.  Instead, she dumps him.  His friends are amused, except for surprisingly Beau, who's sympathetic.  He has Vinnie call a bunch of girls, but they all reject him.  Vinnie goes into a depression that includes missing work and school, and yet he doesn't get fired or suspended or anything.  His friends come over and find him "drunk" on root beer.  They try to cheer him up.  (OK, Arnold using a sock puppet to sing "Rubber Tree Plant" is cute.)  And then they tear off his clothes, redress him, and make him go to the local soda shop!  Sally shows up and Juan makes Vinnie talk to her.  She apologizes but doesn't explain what's going on with her and her new boyfriend.  She wants to date Vinnie again, so he says he wanted to dump her.  Then they make up and he "treats" her with her money.

The adults aren't in this one much and of course Gabe is absent.  Note that IMDB lists this episode as airing on a Saturday, although the next weekend it's on a Sunday.  I'm guessing either this is an error or ABC was understandably losing faith in the show and was shifting it all over the week.

Welcome Back, Kotter: X-Rated Education

Welcome Back, Kotter: X-Rated Education
ABC
October 28, 1978
Sitcom
DVD
B-

Even though this has Carvelli, Murray, and Beau, with no Kotter or Barbarino, this is pretty good.  Yes, it's predictable (you can hear the studio audience reacting to the "twist" a scene or two before it happens), but I do like how Julie and Juan handle the situation and how the emphasis is on their friendship, so that she's not just Mrs. Kotter but has a bond with the Sweathogs besides through her husband.  Plus, Horshack's reactions to the movie are cute.

Jenna McMahon, who wrote one Bob Newhart Show episode and appeared in a different one, here plays Mrs. Zugler.

Welcome Back, Kotter Barbarino's Boo-Boo

Welcome Back, Kotter Barbarino's Boo-Boo
ABC
October 21, 1978
Sitcom
DVD
C

The show switched over to Saturdays at 8, nudging Carter Country (then in its second and last season) to 8:30.  I followed WBK over, since I wasn't watching Rhoda or CHiPs, and I still felt somewhat invested in the cast.  This episode though, despite the presence of both Kotter and Barbarino, isn't exactly the kind of thing that would've won me over as a new viewer.  It starts out OK, with Vinnie dealing with both disapproving Nurse Bonney (Dulo) and bunion surgery patient Woodman.  Even Vinnie misplacing Woodman is all right, but it leads to some unfunny slapstick, including against random patients.  This is the first of four WBK stories by Linda Morris and Vic Rauseo, so I guess in a way it's their boo-boo.

Welcome Back, Kotter: Beau's Jest

Bull, Mario, and not-McGinley

Welcome Back, Kotter: Beau's Jest
ABC
October 16, 1978
Sitcom
DVD
C+

This is the first of six WBK stories by Earl Barret, who'd done one for The Bob Newhart Show, while co-writer George Arthur Bloom had been writing for the show since the previous season.  There's again an awkward frame to the story, probably because Beau's introduction should've aired weeks ago.  I do find Beau irritating, especially with his "There are three things..." thing, and him setting Juan up with a woman who has a jealous boyfriend (35-year-old Richard Moll in unconvincing sideburns), doesn't help, even when he takes the punch.  Kaplan is supposed to be in this episode (although Travolta isn't), but Mr. Kotter is missing on my copy and there's just Julie's one-sided phone conversation where he's apparently sick in bed.