Soap: Episode 90

Soap: Episode 90
ABC
April 20, 1981
Dramedy
DVD
C+

And so this crazy four-year ride ends, with the famously unresolved, and bleak, cliffhangers.  That the episode isn't terrible, isn't bad, is actually slightly above average, is sort of frustrating, although not in the way that the below average episodes are.

Susan Harris had a "Soap bible" that she sort of followed throughout the run, although some characters, such as Burt's wife, never appeared and not every existing character had everything happen that she originally imagined.  Obviously, some things were added along the way.  But the point is, it was enough to last five years.  Hypothetically, a fifth season would've resolved some of the problems in the characters' lives, and in the level of writing.  We'll just never know.  But a fan can both want that season and feel that it may as well end here, whether it was the intention of the network (who felt that the Moral Majority and similar groups was stronger in '81 than in '77) or the burnt-out cast and crew.  Or all of the above.  Or none.

I do need to point out that if there's any good in this episode, it's mostly due to Mr. and Mrs. Tate.  Helmond to the very end (and whether Jessica actually dies depends on how you interpret her appearance on Benson) keeps Jessica, lovely, well-dressed, sweet, optimistic, charming, dippy in a sort of Gracie-Allen way (Sandia remarks that if you think about it, she actually makes sense), and devoted to her family.  And Mandan takes what is one of the oldest subjects of farce and soap opera, catching his son in bed with his young wife, and plays it for all he can, as both farce and soap opera, and even a bit of tragedy.  If Season Five would have given both performers more meaty stuff like this, then it is a great loss.

But there would still be the problem of Mr. and Mrs. Campbell.  If Burt had survived the ambush, would it have woken him to the loss of his family and true self?  Or would there be more scenes like him offering Danny zero sympathy for his love life?  (Not that I've ever been crazy about Danny's love life, but Burt and Danny used to be best friends.)

The timeline on this episode alone is a mess.  The Communists give El Puerco 36 hours to give himself up, and yet Danny and Annie spend three days in bed.  It's weird to look back on the first couple episodes, with their exact time-stamps for each scene.  Now things happen almost surrealistically.  Mary can give birth in an episode that airs in November and then the baby is SORASed to twelve months old in April.  If this were lampshaded, if this were clearly parody, then that would be cool.  But it's just part of the sloppiness of the season.

The Major, Mary, Jodie, Saunders, Chuck, and Bob are absent, although there is a nice bit where Bob calls the Tates, looking for Chuck.

In its first season, Soap averaged a remarkable B.  The second season was a high B-, the third a straight B-.  Season Four is book-ended by two B-s and two D+s.  The twenty-one episodes average out to the C/C+ border, slightly more on the C side.  This is not shark-jumping.  But it is a sad decline for a once good, sometimes wonderful show.  Helmond at least would go on to more sitcom glory, in the very different role of Mona on Who's the Boss?, and obviously Crystal would be the biggest success of this cast.  Almost everyone, including one-shots like George Wendt and Kurtwood Smith, would work again, sometimes quite memorably.  And Susan Harris would do Golden Girls, Empty Nest, and the intriguing failure of Hail to the Chief  (the 1985 dramedy where Patty Duke is the first female U.S. President).  But there would never again be a show quite like Soap.